Keep experiencing and don't avoid.

Last month I got an email from a woman named Lisa. She was encouraging me after that crazy trip to the post office. The point of her email was this: keep experiencing and don't avoid. As an occupational therapist she has seen many families (kids and parents) benefit from experiencing rather than avoiding. I totally resonate with this idea.

And you know what? It is hard.

Sometimes it is easier to just avoid, go down the same path, not take the risk, just stay home. Especially with a special needs kid who responds differently to everyday situations. In all reality, it does no one any good to avoid.

Sometimes I want to avoid stuff. Like taking Simon to school. He does awesome when Chris takes him - when I do, it's not so awesome. The reason? It is different. Things that are different are hard for SImon. But helping him through these things, and finding ways to work through the moments, are part of my responsibility as his mama. I have to put aside my own feelings of wanting to avoid so that I can make his experience better. So that I can show him that different is ok.

Simon likes to try to avoid stuff too. Like meat. Lately we have been working with him on trying new foods (anything other than potatoes). The school is on in the whole adventure with us as well. Here is a copy out of our communication notebook talking about meat:

Putting the meat on his tongue is the first step. Then gumming, Then maybe chewing and potentiall swallowing...and maybe even ending up liking it. So many things in our lives involve experience rather than avoidance. Experience makes our lives richer. It helps us develop or true sense of self. Assists in the development of our minds and our hearts.

Maybe there is something out there that you are avoiding (as simple as meat, as complex as the changes you need to make to live a happy, passion-filled life). Something that appears to be so very hard to experience. I ust want to take a minute to encourage you to take that step today - whatever that means for you.

Life is for living.

Related Posts

Sign in or sign up to comment.

103 thoughts

  1. yolanda says…
    08/03/2006

    This post so resonated with me as I am making changes that are hard but necessary for me to live a richer life. I am moving to Oregon in 3 weeks and excited but a little scared. I know that It will make me grow and change for the better. As ever you continue to be an inspiration to me.

    Reply 0 Replies
  2. Tara says…
    08/03/2006

    It is so easy for us to just avoid and not experience change or things that are difficult. Thanks Ali,, for sharing your Simon stories with us. I've been lurking her for quite awhile.
    I am an RN and have worked with both adults and children with developmental disabilities,, I am always challenged to change my outlook, my goals, and well,, me because of the things they've shown me.

    Reply 0 Replies
  3. Keeley Tillotson says…
    08/03/2006

    This really resonated with me Ali. Thanks.

    Reply 0 Replies
  4. Maria says…
    08/03/2006

    Wow! Another great post, Ali. I cannot tell you how much this speaks to me. I have many things in my life I have been avoiding. You have totally provided something for me to think about. Thanks again for all your wisdom.

    Reply 0 Replies
  5. Alison says…
    08/03/2006

    Yes to all of it. After a year plus of waiting for the perfect wallgrafitti to fall into my lap, this may just be it. Granted, it will look completely random and unartistic, but I'm near certain I could benefit from seeing that in print every day. Especially if that print was say, ten inches tall...
    thanks, dawg.

    Reply 0 Replies
  6. Michelle says…
    08/03/2006

    Thank you for this totally inspiring post. So true and so important. I'm printing it off and putting it where I can see it and be reminded to experience life. Every day.

    Reply 0 Replies
  7. Sharna says…
    08/03/2006

    I just pasted this quote into my own journal today....
    "The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, t oreach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience." Eleanor Roosevelt
    Thanks for all that you share Ali! Sharna

    Reply 0 Replies
  8. Missy says…
    08/03/2006

    Ali--
    Tearful over this entry-- there are some areas in my life that are needing this- different is ok-- go ahead and experience it-- somehow it felt like this post took me by the hand and encouraged me, as you do Simon.
    Thanks-
    Missy Kemp

    Reply 0 Replies
  9. DebbieP - NZ says…
    08/03/2006

    That is just awesome Ali about Simon and meat...
    You are a total inspiration. A girl i scrap with as an autistic son and through your blog i have learned many many different ways to interact with him.. I have only known his mum and him for about 7 weeks but now everytime they pass our house on the way to day care he sticks his face to the window and continuisly points to our house and i even got a hug and kiss yesterday when they left. Cherly said this is huge for him as normally on his mummy and daddy and family get that privaledge (sorry for sp. So thank you Ali for your inspiration and thoughts...Have a safe flight and see you next week - Cheers, Debs

    Reply 0 Replies
  10. Zonnestraaltje says…
    08/03/2006

    I read your blog every day, though rarely comment because there are just so many comments that I will just sound like an echo... so that's one thing I avoid...but not today. Today I wanted to thank you for this different persepective on things, which I have taken to heart. Thank you very much! :)

    Reply 0 Replies
  11. deirdre says…
    08/03/2006

    Such a good post. Thank you. So many people reply here, I often think you don't need another post---but this one gets to the heart of it and helps me say "yes" to life, to change, to opportunities, when "no" would be so much more comfortable.
    I love comfort, but I'm slowly realizing that it's now why we are here. The discomfort of growth has to go with it, hand in hand.
    I don't know how you manage to even think in full sentences while juggling so much, but today's post was a blessing. Thank you.

    Reply 0 Replies
  12. AJ says…
    08/03/2006

    Ali, with all the turmoil, stress, and extra added work in your life, I think you are amazing and strong and that you will get through this just fine. Sometimes it is easier to back off or say "no", but you are teaching Simon, and yourself, some very important lessons. You rock!

    Reply 0 Replies
  13. Audrey says…
    08/03/2006

    Thank you Ali!
    Have a wonderful and safe trip

    Reply 0 Replies
  14. amy j says…
    08/03/2006

    If you ever get tired of scrapping, you could DEFINITELY be a motivational speaker. Great post, as usual. Something I needed. I'm avoiding cleaning my kitchen right now, lol. Thanks again for your thanks to my thanks email, LOL! Enjoy your trip!

    Reply 0 Replies
  15. Brek says…
    08/03/2006

    great post, Ali. You are an inspiration not only with your art, but also with your outlook on life. Keep it up, you have no idea how many people look up to you.
    Brek

    Reply 0 Replies
  16. Sam says…
    08/03/2006

    Wonderful post Ali - something I constantly have to reminded myself.
    Curious about the communication notebook - was that specifically developed for Simon's school or is it available to anyone? We're trying to find something similar to that for this school year.

    Reply 0 Replies
  17. Liz Ness says…
    08/03/2006

    Thank you Ali. This is just the thing I needed today! Sometimes it can be so hard to dip that foot into the water.
    My own son's therapy involves all sorts of new experiences (it's for speech, but is a little farther reaching with regards to tactile and sensory exposure). At times, it's really challenged him. Now, however, these experiences are starting to have their rewards. Also, I've been a little surprised at my own growth as a result.
    Still, it is easy to get lost and forget why we are trudging knee deep into something that upsets our children. So, I am grateful for your reminder of the bigger picture: Experience, don't avoid. Good or bad, experience leads to growth.

    Reply 0 Replies
  18. teresa says…
    08/03/2006

    cool advice. And who doesn't need to hear that more often. Take the risk....like that!

    Reply 0 Replies
  19. kristin says…
    08/03/2006

    Thanks so much Ali! I was stressing a bit about how Abbi was going to handle our upcoming trip, but you're right... we need to experience, not avoid. We need to just make this trip everything we can, focus on the good, not the bad, and do all we can to make her comfort level the best it can be, so that she *CAN* experience. thanks ali :-*

    Reply 0 Replies
  20. Angie says…
    08/03/2006

    I am so thankful that you wrote this entry today. I wrote you one other time - about my little Caroline who was born with Down syndrome two years ago.
    Eating issues are big with us. . .and you made me feel like I wasn't alone. There are times I take the well-worn road (as opposed to the road less taken) when it comes to feeding time. But you're right-experiences (good or bad) are what make us grow.
    I too, am wiping a tear or two because it feels SO good to know that I'm not alone. Even though we've never met - and may never meet - you, your life, your words, your family--all are part of my everyday life. Thank you for blazing a trail out there. We're listening. We're reading.
    And, we're touched.
    Angie
    East TN

    Reply 0 Replies
  21. Flo says…
    08/03/2006

    wow -- so true
    there's so many levels to being, to living, it continuously astounds me...
    thanks for sharing.

    Reply 0 Replies
  22. cindy says…
    08/03/2006

    Thanks again Ali for just a meaningful and thought-provoking post. How do you do it? How do you tap into my mind and type the words I NEED to hear everyday?! Peace and blessings...Cindy

    Reply 0 Replies
  23. Karen Geckler says…
    08/03/2006

    Today I came home from work feeling very depressed. All of my co-workers and I are being outsourced to lower-paid contract employees. That is 35 people out of work after as little as 6yrs and as many as 46yrs. (20 yrs for me) I worry about income and insurance and all of those "practicle" necessities.
    Then I read Ali's blog. Again, my gratitude goes out to Ali for seeing the bigger picture, the possibilities that are available, the prospect of better things to come---experience, take the risk to move forward. Now I just have to keep that on the forfront of my thinking process.
    Thank you Ali! I will not let this defeat me.
    Cheers..............Karen

    Reply 0 Replies
  24. Adele says…
    08/03/2006

    Just remember that many of the things that you and Simon experience are common experiences for everyone -- the difference being that it is "heightened" and much more intense. I work with high school students with autism, we have nine (identified) in our high school of 1900 students. Everyone of them is unique and they have all traveled different paths, but they are all very successful in school and have grown so much over the last few years. I am so proud of how hard they work and how aware they are. They are all learning to be their own advocates in life -- what a goal. I love reading your blog -- it is such an insight.

    Reply 0 Replies
  25. Sarah M says…
    08/03/2006

    I love yout thoughts and could not agree with you more. I avoid things ALL THE TIME! Thanks for this reminder. I will remember it.

    Reply 0 Replies

Sign in or sign up to comment.