Ali Edwards Capture life. Create art.

February 6, 2009

Right now.

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1. Filling the house with fresh flowers.

2. Excited that my Mom arrived yesterday and will be here with us for the next couple of weeks.

3. Watching Simon work-through his homework. Going through the routine of protest, silliness, more protest, and finally settling into concentration and then triumph & celebration at the end. 

4. Reading voraciously. Started and finished Girl with a Pearl Earring
in a couple nights. Starting World Without End
tomorrow.

5. About half-way through creating a "reflections" book for the first few weeks/month with the new baby. Planning to share images from that project on Monday unless she comes before then. I am using some older pink Anna Griffin patterned papers that I have been holding on to for something special. 

6. Our bags for the hospital are packed and ready to go with comfortable clothes and a couple sweet things for the baby.

7. Feeling calm about my choice to have a repeat c-section.

8. Hoping to finish up our taxes today. Would love to have that done and out the door before the baby comes. 

9. Trying to remember what it's really like caring for a newborn. Reading up a bit on baby care and hoping it will all come back to me (or I will relearn). I would love to read some of your favorite tips for those first few weeks if you have them (I am all good with the "sleep when the baby sleeps" mantra).

10. Simply excited beyond measure to hold this new bundle and welcome her into our lives.

Dottedline_2

It's all pretty surreal right now.

I have been thinking a lot about the three of us and the family unit we have been for the past seven years. For many of those years I was pretty sure that Simon would be our one and only. Now, with another one coming so very soon, I have been reflecting a bunch and hugging Simon just that much tighter and longer.

I am a different person in lots of ways compared to who I was when Simon was born. Many, many things have impacted me tremendously over the past seven years. I am looking forward to meeting myself in this new role. I will be gentle with myself. I will seek help when I need it. I will savor and celebrate as many moments as I can.

Looking back and looking ahead and being in the right here, right now.

Things are about to change big time once again.

Comments

  • 1.
    Sue in Indy said…

    I will all come back to you, and you will be a terrific mom! You will enjoy having a girl, and marvel at how different girls and boys really are.
    I had a repeat C-section too, and it was so much better than the 1st one.
    Best of luck to you and the family when the time comes!

  • 2.
    Susi from Germany said…

    My favorite tip: Do not listen to any advice (unless you ASKED for it, of course), have it your way!
    A friend of mine taped a contract in her entrance hall which said “Any advice on babies is prohibited.” Every guest had to sign it. LOL. She was SO fed up by everybody telling her to do it this way and that way!

  • 3.
    Lycia said…

    Wishing you all the best as you enter this new chapter of life!

  • 4.
    sue said…

    It sounds like you don’t need any advice. You pretty much know that it will be a time of extreme busy-ness with another little one to care for. If you can rest when she rests, you will be better off for it. The only other thing I can suggest is that you make up several meals to put in your freezer that you can just pop in the oven for a quick meal, it’ll make your life a bit easier on those really hectic day.
    Take care and I’m praying for a safe delivery for you and the little one.
    Sue

  • 5.
    Expat said…

    What a lucky little girl to have you and your family waiting to meet her. Best wishes for a smooth arrival. Very exciting times! Now, go get those taxes done so you can really relax and enjoy things!

  • 6.
    Tara said…

    I have 11 weeks until my repeat c-section, and your post filled me with emotions as I too am hugging my son that extra bit tighter and longer. I am nervous to see how he’ll react being the centre of my world the last 7 years and now there’s a whole new person joining us. He’s so excited to meet his little brother. I remember that feeling too when I met my sister when I was 7. Such big changes coming…
    I wish you and your family well… here’s to new life and a speedy recovery. Enjoy your new daughter.

  • 7.
    Tara said…

    I have 11 weeks until my repeat c-section, and your post filled me with emotions as I too am hugging my son that extra bit tighter and longer. I am nervous to see how he’ll react being the centre of my world the last 7 years and now there’s a whole new person joining us. He’s so excited to meet his little brother. I remember that feeling too when I met my sister when I was 7. Such big changes coming…
    I wish you and your family well… here’s to new life and a speedy recovery. Enjoy your new daughter.

  • 8.
    Bonnie said…

    Reading what you wrote about coming to terms with another c-section hit home. I had make that decision for a second time when I was pregnant with my daughter. I have no regrets! I felt I needed to do what was best for her and me. What I did love is that she decided to come early. Once she is in your arms nothing on how she got there will matter. Enjoy your the next chapter of your life! It will be a full one for sure.

  • 9.
    Anne L said…

    All the best wishes and pray for safe delivery of the new baby A. May God continue to bless you and your family as you welcome a baby sister for Simon.

  • 10.
    Sara said…

    Ali, you seem to meet each new challenge and opportunity with courage, determination and a great spirit…that is all you need to transition from a family of 3 to 4. It is going to be so amazingly wonderful to hold this sweet baby after the years of experienced your’ve gained. It will also be wonderful to watch your son hold and help you with your daughter.
    As a woman who thought I’d never get to experience babies, I’ve been blessed beyond measure and have lived the last 20 months raising babies! It seems that baby stuff just multiplies, carrying a diaper bag everywhere again is new and fun but somewhat annoying when you haven’t done it for so long (at least its cute I imagine!)
    The whole “sleep when they sleep” thing doesn’t work for me and my brain. I’m too busy in my head to slow down. But my best advice is to follow your instinct b/c YOU know what is best. Others will tell you what to do or what they think is best but in reality — only you know. ;) You are the best thing for your daughter and all she wants. Its pretty neat to be a person’s only desire and to be truly the only one able to meet all needs at all times. Cherish it and build that bond.
    I’ll stop writing a book now. Good luck and happy nesting.

  • 11.
    kristisb said…

    I don’t think you need advice, either…just wanted to send my best wishes to all 4 of you. I’ve had 1 c-section & am anxious to see how my next little one (much later!) will enter the world. I think it’s great your mom will be there to help with Simon while you’re at the hospital, and help you when you get home. Such exciting times!!

  • 12.
    Phebe said…

    Had a lucky run into your blog recently and love all that you do! Just found out that I’m expecting and we were totally taken by surprise for a few reasons. We already have 3 boys – 14, 13 & 3 and baby #4 is most welcome. Like you, I’ve been feeling so much more welled up with love inside for our 3 boys when I found ot about our latest addition. For many years I too thought that my first two would be my only children as I had pretty much given up on marriages due to my first failed marriage. But now, my second has brought me another 1 + + :-) I’m excitedly exploring my inner world daily and embracing our new family with much celebration in all things big and small. Congratulations to you and yours!

  • 13.
    Kim said…

    Ali, we are all holding you close in our hearts and prayers as this “little she” comes and opens up another part of your heart. We are all so happy for your family.

  • 14.
    maureen said…

    Such a great place for you and your family to be right now. Thanks for all that you share with us. Enjoy this special time. Hugs & prayers.

  • 15.
    gina said…

    I don’t think you really need any advice either…but here’s my little experience: think now about the physical things you do well (your inner supergirl) and try to do those things when you’re home with your girl, and you’re tired and you’re feeling a little bit like you need a pat on the back. I had a few simple work projects to get done on my “maternity leave” which helped a lot. I was able to do something familiar and which I knew I was good at, when taking care of a newborn was not my cup of tea!
    Enjoy your time with your mother, too.

  • 16.
    Tammy McClafferty said…

    My advice – go with your instincts. My kids are 5 years apart, and yes i am a much different mom to my dgt than i was to my son. more relaxed tops the list!! But even being older – i felt much more energized, calm, relaxed and even recovered quicker…. go figure!! (speaking of –that came back quicker too!!!)
    Have fun!
    Enjoy!!
    Trust yourself!!
    ohhhhh – I can’t wait for you!!!!

  • 17.
    Carrie said…

    My own due date is 6 weeks away… and I’ve having the same sort of feelings about my now 6 year old son and our family of three changing to four!
    I’m anxious to read people’s newborn tips… it’s amazing how you forget!

  • 18.
    debra said…

    so exciting :)
    my best tip is lots of muslin wraps, babies love to be wrapped up tight and nighties so when you have to do the feed change thing especially of a night there is less screaming getting the clothes off and on and therefore not waking everyone else in the house :)
    also we did a newborn photo shoot with a photographer that specialised in newborns when my gorgeous boy was about 3-4 weeks and these photos are some of my favourites they lose that newborn sleepy angelic look so quickly and you do forget :) so even though I thought it would be great if I lost my baby belly in the end it didnt matter and I have some great memories
    all the best
    deb

  • 19.
    Robyn said…

    Oh my goodness, I wish I was in your shoes. One thing I would definitiely recommend is Dunstan’s Baby Language. It’s the one thing I believe EVERY mother should be issued with on having a baby.It tells you how to identify what your baby wants by the sound it makes when it cries. This is an enormous help. Contact me if you don’t find it;)

  • 20.

    Ali, I’m thinking very much about you these days & praying for a safe delivery. It sounds as if you are quite prepared! Just want to share that I have returned this week from Chicago, where I saw my new granddaughter for the first time–a preemie, the second for my son & his wife. And, she had a second C-section as well. Both mother & daughter are doing so well I cannot believe it. In fact, it’s been 1 1/2 months now & she has already begun exercising. As for that little bundle…she is the most precious thing on earth! I was fortunate to get lots of rocker & holding time. Her big sister (4) is so proud & full of plans. Yes, there’s some jealousy–your Simon will need lots of EXTRA hugs & playtime with you, assurance of how special he is too. Prayers blessings go with you.

  • 21.
    kellicrowe said…

    I have so enjoyed your nesting process:) Was the Girl with the Pearl Earring wonderful?!

  • 22.
    homedotmade said…

    Really, it does come back. I too had an easier time the second go-around than I had the first. I say a big hurrah for an ‘experienced’ body and a smaller baby who decided to come 3 weeks earlier.
    As we all are, I am anxiously awaiting baby girl Edwards and join in the congratulations for you all. Praying for a safe and happy delivery a healthy baby and mom at the end of it all.
    God bless you all.

  • 23.
    kym said…

    When my daughter was born, my son was just about three years old. Although excited about her birth, I struggled with how my son would feel. I was so afraid of neglecting him…it had been just us for three years. I struggled with how would I give him the attention he had and deserved in the past. It took a couple of long months for my guilt to subside. One thing that helped me was to have a weekly mommy and son outing. Whether it be a trip to the library,Target or the grocery store, it really helped me to get some quality time with him and it made me feel like we re-connected from the busy weeks. Plus it also gave the two of us something to look forward to.
    My advice is to take a few hours a week and make them for Simon. Leave the baby with your husband and vice versa and let him be the center of attention.
    Congratulations and enjoy scrapbooking with all the wonderful pink/girly items out there. It is such a nice change from blue!
    Kym

  • 24.
    Missy said…

    Best of Luck Ali! I am having my own repeat c-section next week, and it took me a long time to feel calm and accepting of the choice to do so. Reading your words really hit home for me because I have been doing and feeling the same way about our older daughter. She’s only 2 and a half and although she is excited I can only imagine how this is going to effect her once her little brother is here. After a difficult first pregnancy and emergency c-section, we didn’t think we would have any more children either. My best advice is to have lots of healthy snacks around the house, I remember being so hungry recovering from the first one and not having anything to eat in the house at 3am. Also take any help that is offered. I remember having an aunt that brought us dinner one night and it was the best thing in the world. So nice to have a home-cooked meal that I didn’t have to make myself. Again big hugs to you and the rest of your family and good luck!!

  • 25.
    marlee said…

    Ali – best of luck to you. My advice is to just live in these moments and enjoy the crazy, sleepy, wonderful early days. My youngest is turning three in April and I miss so much my newborns. I have had four c-sections – and each recovery was easier than the previous one!

  • 26.
    Gabi said…

    Best of luck and all the best wishes to you and your family, Ali. You will remember how to do everything around a baby. I’m looking forward to see some pictures of her. :)

  • 27.
    Janine Boyd said…

    No advice to give – it all comes back to you and you will be amazed at the extra love that is just there for the taking for that new little bundle:) And simply hold on to the fact that eventually the sleep does come back!

  • 28.
    Catherine said…

    I just watched the movie “Girl with the Pearl Earring” this week…it was great, but I think I need to read the book.
    You seem like such a grounded and down to earth person that having two children will come naturally to you.

  • 29.
    Jawan said…

    1. Enjoy being in your PJs until noon (or later). Just try to be dressed when Simon gets home from school.
    2. Carry no guilt if you are in your PJs until noon (or later). Just try to be dressed when your husband gets home from work.
    3. Feel completely comfortable if you are still in your PJs at dinner time. Now you’re all dressed and ready for bed! Of course, by this late in the day, you will most likely be covered in spit-up so I would advise you to find another set of PJs.
    Carry on.

  • 30.
    Mary Jo said…

    My son had just turned five when our daughter was born, and at times it felt like I was “starting over” again. But it’s amazing how quickly things come back to you :0)
    I do know that I was less protective of her sleep in the beginning. Not worried about noise as much as with Evan. I wasn’t quite as anxious all around. I did make sure to have something special for Evan at the hospital as well for becoming a big brother. And someone had told me to let him come in first before they bring the baby to you. I was able to give him some much needed attention at that point and then he met his little sister :0)
    Good luck! :0)

  • 31.
    Leslie Murphy said…

    You truly are an inspiration, Ali. As the mother of two littles ones, the best advice that I can give is to just make time for you. I often forget that, but feel so refreshed when I come back to my family after being away from a while.
    Also, if you want one more book to add to your list of “should reads,” I suggest The Story of Edgar Sawtelle. :)
    Happy Friday!

  • 32.
    Barb said…

    My best advice is to go buy a few small toys/books/puzzles/activites for Simon so that if you’ve had a rough night with the baby and you are tired you can pull out something special so that he can play near you, occupied while you rest on the couch. it worked like a dream with my older son.

  • 33.
    Vera said…

    With my first child, I talked constantly to her like she was another adult in the room. When my second child was born, it seemed like everything was so much more busy, I don’t think I talked to him as much. I also think I babied him more because he was probably our last baby. KWIM? So, my advice is talk to your baby just like you did with Simon. (I’m assuming you talked to Simon : ) Sounds silly, but I really think it helps the baby learn language and even improves your relationship with the baby! : )

  • 34.
    Annie said…

    Best advice is love every moment of it and take special time with Simon when he comes home from school! When I had my 2nd child, I never thought I could love another human being as much as I loved my first child. I was actually scared of those feelings. When he was born, my eldest started school. It gave me time to rest after a planned c-section but what it gave me was time alone with my second son during the day. When my first child came home, I took the time for him. I think he still felt really special because mom took time for him and I developped a special bond with the little one also.
    I love my two boys and I am close to both of them. They are very different but to my youngest, Zachary is a god, an idol, in a whole a great big brother.
    Enjoy it, it was the best gift for me, to have 2 beautiful kids.

  • 35.

    Yes, I’m certain that it will flood right back — the ‘how to care for a newborn’ :) The four of you as a unit will function beautifully :)

  • 36.
    Sue B>.. said…

    I have 2 kids, boy and then girl too. I think you should think beyond the early years, and how the two of them will be here when you are not. After taking care of my 90 yr old FIL, w/ my two BIL and one SIL, it took all of us to do things well enough. Life is best lived w/ others and you are giving Simon that now. I think my daughter will call her bro Ja-Ja for the rest of his life after she started that before a year old one day as he passed by her getting into the car!!(His name is Jon Peter, Peter for my FIL and husband!) I think I am feeling inspired to put together all the pages of my daughter’s baby book now!!!!! SUe B>

  • 37.
    Jennifer Tobler said…

    My daughter is 6 months old, so I don’t have any advice for multiple kids. But the best advice I got from my mom when my little girl was born was that “the dishes can wait and the laundry will be there tommorrow.” Meaning, spend your valuable time on the important things, your sweet new baby and her big brother!!

  • 38.
    Amy K in FL said…

    Ali: such a special time for all of you as you welcome little “A” into your lives. I had 3 “Cs” with my 3 boys and each was very different. My last two were “scheduled” for convenience since I had out of town help. It put my mind at rest about how to handle my younger boys at home. The best advice I got was to make sure I had some inexpensive little things (small books, maybe a matchbox car) stashed away for those times when a gift was delivered for the baby and the older sons were feeling a bit left out. It helped distract them so they could enjoy their little brother a bit more. Best wishes to all of you. Thanks for sharing this time with us.
    Amy K in FL

  • 39.
    Deanna said…

    I wish you a peaceful, love filled next couple of months! Enjoy!

  • 40.
    christen said…

    sending positive thoughts your way…my only advice is enjoy every second of it! they grow up way too fast.

  • 41.
    kristin g said…

    really beautiful thoughts on the three of you becoming the four of you. many blessings on the birth. the newborn days are a pretty far memory for me too – the best advice i can think of right now i guess pretty much goes for everyday – breath. let go as best you can of the things the mind wants to hold onto/cling to or get away and let yourself be in the moment, tending to whatever it is that needs you then. every moment is fleeting. that’s my newborn advice. that and also you can never take too many newborn pictures. :)

  • 42.

    just wanted to wish you well on your new adventure.
    no advice; just some observations. my girls are two years apart and i had a fast second labor. my older daughter came to visit me in the hospital about three hours after i left home. when she walked in she looked huge! like she had grown a foot in three hours — very strange! i also made sure to NOT being holding the new baby when she arrived and i greeted her first. and i had a little gift in the bassinet from the baby to her. i know simon is much older than my older daughter was, but you may want to do some variation of this.
    also, one of the absolute best things about having two is watching them play together. their relationship will develop much sooner than you think. even with simon being older, your new baby girl will begin to relate to her brother in ways that will delight you. enjoy it all!

  • 43.
    Beth said…

    You sound wonderfully prepared and with a wonderful spirit about this new person coming into you lives. I love the part about being gentler to yourself, I shall carry that with me today. Thanks.

  • 44.
    Suzitee said…

    I don’t think you need advice Ali…just wanted to wish you all the best for the delivery, and can’t wait to see pics of your new little pink bundle. Must admit, I am feeling a little jealous…love that special newborn time.
    Hugs to you and your family xxx

  • 45.
    Becky Swisher said…

    Just LOVE her and the rest will come! …

  • 46.
    Lesley said…

    So excited for you and your family. Its truely a pleasure to check your blog each day for a special message. It is my gift to myself really. I wish you every happiness, and the time to enjoy every moment.
    Best Wishes

  • 47.
    Tiffany N said…

    Hi Ali, I wish you all the best these next couple of weeks. I have had two c-secions and am anticipating my 3rd in a few months.
    My only advice to offer you is to not forget that you are recovering from the c-section. I spent a long time recovering from #2 c-section (longer than #1) because I didn’t slow down. I kept racing around trying to be the same mother to my first daughter (as I was before her sister was born)and to be a good mother to my new daughter. It took longer to recover because of that. I am sure you will be just fine though.

  • 48.
    Rachel said…

    When my 4 1/2 year old was born, we watched Dr. Karp’s Happiest Baby on the Block video. It talks about the 5 Ss that the baby need: Sucking, Shushing/White noise, Swinging/Shaking in a vibrating papasan, Side-lying position, and Swaddling. All of those really helped to pacify an upset baby. We had really good experience using the techniques and ended up swaddling until Ella was 6 months old. You can look at the youtube videos of parents using the techniques. I wish you an easily calmed baby and one that sleeps!

  • 49.
    Cherie said…

    Wishing you well as your family grows! There are 3 1/2 years between my two. That second one is so different in many way. You know what you’re getting into because you’re already a mother, but a mother of two wow you never thought your heart could be big enough to love them so! It’s awesome!

  • 50.
    Jenn Biederman said…

    Oh, Ali…does this ever bring back memories for me. I had my second daughter 6 years after my first. Like you, I wondered if I would remember how to take care of a newborn again. Just letting you know, it comes back. I was a bit apprehensive during my pregnancy…but there was no need. All was well & I wish you the best! One more tip: give extra hugs to Simon once she is born. I made sure I gave my eldest some time alone with me (that was extremely hard to do, but I just took the time to do it). Lots of hugs!

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