WHAT’S REAL RIGHT NOW Simon began the 4th grade last week. The start of school has traditionally been a challenge for him as he navigates a new classroom, new teachers, new structures and a return to old routines here at home but so far he’s been doing great. Definitely a bit sleepy this morning as we all adjust to waking up earlier.
WHAT’S REAL RIGHT NOW is that Simon is doing just awesome: riding his bike, reaching out to other kids, being more comfortable in new situations, reading books with joy and excitement. It’s so amazing how much he loves to read if it’s something he’s really interested in – which really is not all that amazing when I remember that my favorite things to read are things I’m really into and excited about. We just need to find more of things for him. A couple Tuesdays ago he read a Shrek book to me for 2 hours while I was working.
WHAT’S REAL RIGHT NOW is that fall is on it’s way. I could feel it last night coming in through the half-open windows. I saw it yesterday in a few leaves that are beginning to change colors and drop to the street. I saw it again early this morning when waking to complete darkness.
WHAT’S REAL RIGHT NOW is that Chris and I are having a challenging time. There are many things we are great at together and yet many areas in which we struggle to connect. I want you to know that life is real here – just as it is in your home and your life – and there’s good and bad and easy days and hard ones and this happens to be a time in my life that is really hard. I’d totally take your prayers, your positive energy, your wishes of strength and peace, and your compassion. Things are changing here and I’m hoping to face this next chapter of my story with grace and an open heart.
WHAT’S REAL RIGHT NOW is that Anna is two. She’s more two than I think Simon ever was – she’s got opinions and the language skills to back them up. She’s also much more of a boundary tester than Simon. She loves to jump on the couch and asks “Why Mom?” as a response to just about everything. She started a daily Montessori preschool last week and seems to be adjusting just fine. Chris and I dropped her off this morning and she was so happy to show him her school and have him meet her teacher and see her classroom. She’s really pretty darn amazing and I’m so happy she’s a part of my life.
WHAT’S REAL RIGHT NOW is that I finished both The Help and Little Bee last month. Loved them both. I asked for suggestions via Facebook and Twitter last week and started Cutting For Stone last night. Hoping to go see The Help this weekend.
WHAT’S REAL RIGHT NOW is that this post from my friend Jen Lemen is super inspiring: How To Be Dangerous.
WHAT’S REAL RIGHT NOW are these words: This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind…let it be something good. Author Unknown.
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Praying for you and your family….thank you for being real.
Sending you much love and good thoughts Ali.
Glad to hear you liked The Help. A friend loaned her copy to me, but have yet to crack it open. My 2.5 yr. old also loves to jump on the couch and test her boundaries. Totally exasperated on the week-end I asked her: “How many time today have I asked you to stop spitting (a big thing for her lately)?” her priceless reply: “Twelve.”
Thank you for sharing your life with us via this blog.
Dear Ali,
It takes courage what you just did. I want you to know that my thoughts are with you and your family.
Lots of hugs
Sandra
Your honesty is much admired. Sending good thoughts your way~
I love your openness and honesty! You are “real” and I admire that! I think all of us (especially me) can relate to your ‘What’s real right now’ post! We all have days that have real struggles and areas of our life that are pure sunshine!
I can relate. There are areas of my life that are better than I ever dreamed they would be and areas of my life that need improvement and more connection relationally.
For my ‘What’s real right now’ I want to model your realness and say that I’m lonely friendship wise these days. I love my husband and my kids but, I need friends (girlfriends).
Okay, here is one more, ‘What’s real right now’…I need to loose weight to be healthier and that impacts my overall confidence. Okay, that was pretty open (for me) and now I feel a little uncomfortable. But, I’m glad to actually type it out and name the issues. Thank you for being an example of knowing yourself, examining your life, and being open.
I will pray for you.
~ Ali
Balance is so hard when you have kids…guys tend to tend to need alot more “stroking of the ego” than us women do. There was a time when DH and I went through this when my oldest was being very demanding. I found myself resenting the fact that my DH was standing in the sidelines asking “what about me”. I was like…”are you for real?” “Give me a freakin break here.” I told him that I just didn’t have time to “be his mother and stroke him and make him feel better all the time”…especially since the kids were such a handful. We went to counseling and worked it all out…having that outside source was a godsend and we’ve been so much better ever since! That was 17 years ago…but I can still recall all the details of it when I read something like your post today. Just remember that “this too shall pass” and ther “things happen for a reason” even when we don’t give a damn about them…lol Hope and love for you all.
On a lighter note…has Simon read any of the “Matt Christopher” books or the “Box Car Children” books? Both are great for his age…the Box Car series is full of adenture and mystery and the Matt Christopher books are full of sports and action adventure.
Great perspective Roberta! Wise words.
Thanks for your sharing and honesty. Prayers and good wishes for you and Chris and your family.
I know change is hard, and it’s different from what you know, but it can be positive or negative change Ali… I speak from going through it myself last year. I chose positive. I know you will too. Hugs.
Sending hugs and good thoughts your way! <3
Ali;
I love and appreciate your being candide here, though I can only imagine how challenging it is to have your “stuff” out there for people to see.
Your way of documenting and reflecting on life, the good and bad, has always been an inspiration for me.
I send thoughts, prayers and this little saying to you:
“The main difficulty of thinking is confusion. We try to do too much at once. Emotions, information, logic, hope and creativity all crowd in on us. It is like juggling with too many balls.” ~Edward De Bono
take care!
Hugs to one of my favorite people in the whole world. Not just because you inspire me all.the.time but because you work so hard at the authenticity that can be so challenging to pull off these days. I can tell you that your addition to my prayers for the marriages in my life will not be the first and I will gladly add you and Chris. Marriage is challenging and you will have my prayers. Sending lots of positive energy and know that you will work out what is best for all of you.
I read your blog daily and appreciate your openness. I am keeping you, Chris, and your children in my prayers. I pray you both will be able to be open and keep your pride in check. I think this is difficult for all of us adults.
Dearest Ali,
Thanks for a honest and heartfelt post today. I think we tend to forget that those we admire for their works and talents live lives just like us. It’s refreshing to know that we “all” struggle in this life at times. Sending many good thoughts your way and pray that your little family will work this out. This too shall pass….
sending lots of prayers and good thoughts your way Ali. Marriage is hard…we’ve been through many difficult periods over the years. I wish there was a magic wand that could make everything better…
ali, your transparency will not only encourage you, but it will be a blessing to so many people. it’s rare to find such honesty– sending you and chris love and prayers. Praying that God will lead you through this challenging time and you will come out stronger on the other end. xoxo
My heart sank as I read about you and Chris. Sending lots of strength and positive thoughts. You and your honesty are amazing! ((hugs))
Ali,
You must be so very proud of Simon and his transition to 4th grade. Brings a huge smile to my face, can’t imagine how it makes your heart pound with pride!!!!!!!! Praying for peace, of heart and mind, and courage for your family to traverse this present challenge. Thanks for the reminder today, that we all make this journey together: our story cannot be written without community. Blessings.
Hoping the positive thoughts and prayers I’m sending your way help you as much as your daily inspiration helps me in my day to day life! Hang in there.
You and Chris are God’s gift to each other. May He surround you with His love and peace as you work through the challenges of your relationship.
GOod thoughts. GOod Karma. That is all.
Sending you lots of love and prayers today Ali!! I know you will come through this as you are a fighter! xoxoxoxoxo
Ali, praying for you & keeping you and your family in my thoughts……
I wonder if Simon has read A Wrinkle in Time, which I recall being read to me by my 5th grade teacher, so I think 9-10 would be a good age for a first reading. I’m sending up prayers that God will send you and Chris whatever you most need at this challenging time. Let us (your readers, former/current students, cyber-pals) know if there’s anything we can do to help from afar.
Adding another kid to the mix is HARD! Parenthood in general is HARD – as if being a wife weren’t difficult enough. I know a little about that – our second son is almost 18 months old and my husband and I have been struggling with our “connection” for some time now. It is so hard to find more energy to devote to that part of your life when there are so many other things that demand little pieces of you throughout the day. We are still trying to figure it out. Hang in there. Keep talking. Keep trying.
I loved the quote at the end of your post. Thanks for sharing. Whatever happens – IT WILL BE OK.
Have you tried the Geronimo Stilton books with Simon? I think they’d be right up his alley – great stories, wonderful illustrations and an amazing use of fonts that you will appreciate.
Dear Ali – just wanted to let you know that I love you and think about you and that I’ll pray for you. We’ve never met, but through your wonderful blog I feel that you are part of my life. It was only yesterday when I told a friend about you and how great you are and all that you do. So thank you for being such an inspiration and positive and creative person. I hope the little support we as readers can give you here gives you strength and courage and hope. May God bless you and your family!
Sending all the good thoughts and vibes you asked for and a prayer that you didn’t, that however the situation shakes out will bring you peace and be what’s best for all of you. Thanks for sharing yourself with us.
Thank you for being so open and honest! I am sending lots of positive energy and prayers your way! I wish you nothing but the best!
Hugs, thoughts, prayers to you definitely. I’ve read your blog for years and watched you conquer many obstacles with honesty and love. Hang in there – you have lots of support and love from your family – it’s obvious from your stories and photos. Hugs – Amanda
I wish I could give right back to you all the joy and inspiration you have brought to my life. Your honesty and creativity are your greatest strengths. You are amazing!
Lots of love to you Ali. I’ve been wondering about wether I should/could share my families struggles on my blog lately. Your bravery inspires me. I hope things get better for you.
This blog entry really touched my heart because it’s good to acknowledge that life is hard, even when it’s full and good and satisfying in so many ways. My Project Life album is missing something right now… My husband is not in any of the pictures because he’s in Afghanistan for 6 months. I wish you and Chris every happiness and a whole new level of blessing & joy in your relationship
)
It takes courage to write what you have written. Thanks for sharing all you wonderful observations, but also the harder stuff in life. I can so relate to you. I find it difficult to pay attention to my own life, my two kids, the relationship I’m in and my and try doing your best at all of them. Sending you lots of support and hope you’ll make it work.
Wishing all four of the you the best.
What’s real right now: You.
Thanks for courageously being honest so the rest of us can brave being honest too.
My Blog
“Sending prayers your way, Ali. It’s easy, as a reader, to create an imagined perfect life for you and other bloggers who are part of our day-to-day routines. Thank you for sharing what is real in your life right now and trusting that manifold compassion will be returned to you through comments and prayer. Wishing you an inner wisdom to guide you as you continue to navigate life’s challenges.”
I think this response is beautiful, and wanted to second the sentiments. :hug:
As many previous commenters have said, I enjoy following your blog because it is so genuine, so real, so human! Thank you for all the inspiring stories you share with us.
I normally lurk but came out of hiding to suggest “The Indian in the Cupboard” by Lynne Reid Banks. It’s a series of books about a toy who comes to life and our son simply loved it. The other series of books greatly loved was E Nesbit’s Five Children and It. An old classic, for sure, but another series of well told stories which remained a favourite for a long time. It’s great to raise a boy who reads!
Have always appreciated and admired your honesty about your ‘real’ life – that more or less, it’s like all of our real lives. Ups, downs, good, bad… just life. Definitely sending thoughts and prayers for you and Chris. My hubby and I were kind of at crossroads last weekend, too. Marriage is great, but can be challenging.
Ali, Whatever struggles you have right now..my only advice is hang in there. My husband and I have had struggles in our relationship..major ones, but we hung in there and are more in love now than ever. And we just celebrated our 32nd wedding anniversary.Hugs.
PS My favorite all time book I have read in the last 5 years is Cutting For Stone. You will love it.
Prayers for peace and strength Ali. Thanks for being real. We all appreciate that more than you will ever know or understand…..
Ali, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I really admire your openness and honesty.
I’m very proud of Simon as he begins 4th grade. I know he brings you and Chris alot of joy.
Sending some extra thoughts and prayers your way. Life is difficult enough without disconnect between partners. I hope you and Chris come out the other side of this trying time as a stronger team than you were going in. Huggs to you and your precious family.
Go big, Ali. Read Cutting for Stone. It will take you “away”; it will give you distance. The kind of distance few things in this life can provide.
Happy thoughts coming your way. May you have the strength to get through whatever it is you are facing.
Ali, this whole balance thing of work, family, marriage, the daily demands and tests of our children, excercise, hobbies, IT IS HARD for many of us, including me. Please know that you are in my prayers. May you and Chris find the strength and faith to conquer whatever challenges you are facing. Much love your way.
hang in there ali i’ve been married for 38 years and am so glad we stuck it out through the tough times sometimes pride and hurt feelings get in the way of communicating try to look beyond that hugs!!!
The fact that you don’t need to share, don’t owe us {your readers} any explanation but you choose to be so open is really, really admirable and likeable and real. This reminded me of you today: http://sprik.blogspot.com/2011/09/just-because-39.html
Sending you love and compassion. Life is real and difficult – a lot more then we would like it to be. My husband and I have reached 47 years of marriage yesterday. There has been distance between us, good times, just living in the same house times and joyous times. All in all it has been worth the struggle. One thing we have always had is respect for each other and we loved our children. If you have that you can continue on and hopefully the going will get a little easier. Your in my thoughts and prayers.
Ali – you have such courage woman! I too have such admiration and respect for your honesty and integrity, your willingness to share and your ‘realness’. There is so much strength in you. You have my prayers, my thoughts and so much tenderness. Thank you for being you.
Oh and I seriously loved Cutting for Stone. Great book!