Navigation & Contemplation


Forsynthia from my front yard.

Navigating middle school. Simon will be heading to middle school in the fall. The school district will place him in a middle school that they think will be a good fit for him and the services he needs but we (Chris and I) are also touring schools and talking with administrators and teachers and considering options for him. He is excited. Open. Willing. I want to bottle that up.

Navigating meetings with my CPA and attorneys. Work stuff. Life stuff. Tax time. Listening. Receiving advice. Making decisions. The business stuff of business. There are days I feel very alone in these decisions. Sitting with the fear of the unknown, sitting with the fear of making the wrong decisions, educating myself, practicing bravery. Out of my element but wanting to be a "grown-up" and make the best possible decisions for myself and my kids.

Navigating office floors. If you are taking One Little Word you probably heard me talking about my action item for this month which is to make a decision about new floors for my office and re-arrange the space again. Katie and I will be cleaning out my office this week - removing everything in preparation for the floor guys to come in next Monday.

Navigating soul-searching. Finding a home for myself between independence and need. Between "I can do it all myself" and "I really want to be sharing this journey." Between control and letting go. It will likely be one of my greatest struggles throughout the course of my life.

Navigating the everyday. Last week I had the best dinner table experience with Anna and Simon. It wasn't one thing in particular but the entire experience in general. There was back and forth conversation. Everyone stayed seated at the table. There was minimal complaining about the food that was served. It was all these things in conjunction with one another that seemed so awesome. It might have had something to do with the new chart set up - I'm not sure. Whatever it was, I noticed it and my heart was happy.

Navigating towards open. All of this navigation results in a lot of contemplation. Sometimes I feel frozen and literally have to will myself to take the next step (or be pushed over the edge). Other times it all feels fluid and smooth and easy.

Navigating time. Those of you that get my newsletter might have read about how I'm changing up how I approach my work schedule. This past week I spent time assessing how long some of my tasks actually take. Now it's time to take action. I'm noticing that I'm thinking way too much and not implementing (and adjusting as I make progress vs. living it out in my head without any forward movement).

Life is a constant series of navigations. Figuring out what makes sense, directing, recovering from mistakes, celebrating success, opening vs. closing, riding the waves, surviving the lows, listening, learning, choosing, taking action.

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68 thoughts

  1. laura g. says…
    03/19/2013

    you are a wonderful mother and a stronger person than you think! as for making a mistake...mistakes are just 'learning experiences', and sometimes something better comes from having made one! it's hard to make decisions on your own, but i think for the most part you are doing a GREAT job!!!

    Reply 0 Replies
  2. Jacque says…
    03/19/2013

    Sweet Ali--Your post today, once again, shows us what the world could be like if we all have your ability to love, forgive, accept and navigate even when life is difficult. I know the last few years have often been very trying for you but the way you have handled yourself with dignity and grace shows everyone what a kind and generous person you are. just know that you are so appreciated and cared about by so many of us that only know you through this blog. You inspire us by sharing your life and your awesome work. Thank you for being Ali!!

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  3. Nishi says…
    03/19/2013

    Awesome post. Thank you for opening up so much to the world . Its good to know that I am not alone when I feel similar feelings. This post really touched my heart & again a big Thanks from the bottom of my heart.

    Reply 0 Replies
  4. molly says…
    03/19/2013

    Thank you for being so OPEN, Ali. I've been cautious/protective about sharing my contemplative moments, hence my blog space is at a complete halt. (Somewhat mirroring life.) There's strength in sharing, and I'm certain that in doing so you'll benefit in ways greater than imagined. xo

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  5. Barb says…
    03/19/2013

    Thanks for the great post-even though all of us are at different points in our lives, I can really relate with all you said and are feeling.

    Reply 0 Replies
  6. Jenny says…
    03/19/2013

    I'm getting ready to dive into a completely different life, as I resign from my 24-year career and begin a more creative life and calling as a singer and vocal coach. I've been struggling with how to manage my time in a creative field... sucked in to Facebook/Pinterest/Blogger way too many hours in the day if left to my own devices. Your newsletter article linked from this post describes exactly my plight, and also is the same approach I'm taking. Good luck to you, and here's to trying new things!

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  7. Suz says…
    03/19/2013

    Thanks for sharing this Ali.
    Take care you.
    Suz

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  8. wendy says…
    03/19/2013

    Can I just say how awessome for Simon and Anna..that you and Chris make an effort to be on good terms and to both be involved in life decisions. It hurts my heart that we don't see more of this in our society where divorce is so prevelent. I am divorced as well. Due to life choices, my son's father is just now forging a relationship with our son (he will be 16 Saturday).We both agreed in the beginning of our divorce to be civil and respectful to each other and about each other in our son's presence.

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  9. krugthethinker says…
    03/19/2013

    What a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing and for being so open with us.

    Reply 0 Replies
  10. Peggy McDevitt says…
    03/19/2013

    This is why I have you as my top blog. Life is hard, I have navigated many of life's issues and appreciate your well spoken words. When I look back I know I did the best I could at the time and that's all we can do. I pray that I am ENOUGH and will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Reply 0 Replies
  11. Paula O says…
    03/19/2013

    so honest raw and real!!! thanks for sharing your navigations!

    Reply 0 Replies
  12. HeeJin Ramsey says…
    03/19/2013

    Your words are inspiring to us all. Thank you for opening up to us,sharing, and being real. It touched my heart. Hugs to you all.

    Reply 0 Replies
  13. Patti L says…
    03/19/2013

    A good reminder that I need to write down all that is happening in my mind sometimes. Thanks for sharing. It feels good to know that people like myself (& like you, i think?) are not alone in their quest to just sort their lives out and make it better.

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  14. JosieK says…
    03/19/2013

    Thank you Ali..I needed to read this..As parents, partners, women...we are constantly "navigating" and keeping everyone safe from harm..make sure everyone is having a good time and enjoying the experience. Sometimes, getting all those things noticed by us..the navigators, is exceptionally hard. I commend you and bless you.

    Reply 0 Replies
  15. Ruth G says…
    03/19/2013

    I think it's awesome that you're taking a good hard look at what schools Simon might be attending. I hope that you have success when you've made your decision! Change will probably always be challenging for Simon, but if everything else is working for him the transition will be easier.
    I know what you mean about enjoying those little victories when everything just seems to fall into place! I think it's in those moments that the true joy of parenting mesh with the idea that you are doing the right thing - loving, caring and being there for your family.
    Thanks for sharing!!!!

    Reply 0 Replies
  16. Natalie Murphy says…
    03/19/2013

    thanks for sharing - you make me think more about my life and I appreciate the gift you give us by sharing your life. You always make me want to better myself. You are so much more than a scrapbooking inspiration - you are a life inspirator.

    Reply 0 Replies
  17. Brenda Grubbs says…
    03/19/2013

    Ali ~

    I have been meaning to write to you before, but I just can't delay any longer. I found you several months ago, and fell in love with your handwriting, you stamps, your blogs, and your struggles have touched my heart. I am much older than you, but I know what you are going through and the jobs you are experiencing with Simon. My daughter has a son who is Autistic, and just recently had another son with a physical disability. She spent the first 9 years of her first son's life was spent as a single mom. Without even meeting you, I know your strength and admire your courage.

    I was so touched this morning when I read your piece on "navigation". My husband and I are at retirement age, but I recently lost my job. I have just had back surgery, and we're trying to sell our house (out of necessity). I don't know where we will live, but the comforting part is that God knows. I also know that my husband has been and will be by my side the whole way.

    I've decided to take a huge risk (for me)...start a blog with the intention of becoming part of a design team. I don't know if I will be successful, but you have so inspired me to go to the edge.

    Ali, thank you so much for your openness and sharing of yourself with us. You have no idea how many people you have inspired.

    Prayers will be lifted up for your struggles and the jobs of success.

    ~ Brenda

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  18. slmnontec says…
    03/19/2013

    Dear Ali, You have inspired me to write a list of what I'm navigating right now. Number One is the recent death of my father (only 8 days ago) and helping my mother navigate without him.

    Reply 1 Reply
    1. Ali says…
      03/19/2013

      So sorry to read of the loss of your Dad.

  19. Abby says…
    03/19/2013

    I've been an avid reader of your blog for years, and from what I "know" of you from reading, all I can say (with total confidence) is: Ali, you got this!

    Reply 0 Replies
  20. Jocelyn says…
    03/19/2013

    Ali,
    I have too navigated a similar road once upon a time. I sincerely pray for you and your family. I truly appreciate your honesty and the way you navigate through life and still share it with us in such a refreshing way. OPEN and honest. I am (and I am sure many more of your fans) are pulling for you! You truly are inspiring to me. Your creativity is what drew me in but your strength to persevere through the daily struggles that life sometimes throws at us is what keeps me coming back! Keep going! One phrase that keeps me going through some of the roughest times is "it came to pass, not to stay".
    Thank you for sharing your life with us through your art and your awesome blog!

    Reply 0 Replies
  21. Deirdre says…
    03/19/2013

    love this voice. I've missed hearing more of your personal voice in this space, I realize. I love your work and your products, but it is your shared journey that keeps me coming back.

    Along the lines of your journaling above, I want to recommend a movie rental: Safety Not Guaranteed. It's a B-movie without big names and it's not polished, but I found it so moving in its own quirky way. I think you'd like it---the final line of the movie is one I've had to say over and over to myself as I navigate life & my desire for independence and self-sufficiency with my desire for companionship and inter-dependence.

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  22. Raylene says…
    03/19/2013

    Thanks for a superb post! I have recently fallen into a new path in life and really needed to hear your words! Thanks for being OPEN . . . it is really making a difference for me too!

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  23. Sherry says…
    03/19/2013

    If you need help making decisions check out the desire map....wow!
    http://www.daniellelaporte.com/thedesiremap/

    Reply 1 Reply
    1. Ali says…
      03/19/2013

      Thanks for pointing that out Sherry - I get her daily emails and newsletter but hadn't looked at that closer. Thank you.

  24. Tona says…
    03/19/2013

    I think if i had to give one word to describe you it would be aware. You seem to always be aware of what needs to happen & why, what is happening & why... A very admirable quality!

    Reply 0 Replies
  25. Jenni Hufford says…
    03/19/2013

    i love your heart ali!!!

    Reply 0 Replies

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