December Daily® 2015 | Day Nineteen & Twenty

THIS FEELING IS ALL TOO FAMILIAR FOR ME. I TOO GET LOST IN THE THOUGHTS OF HOW I WISH THINGS WOULD BE OR HOW I THINK I WOULD BE HAPPY IF THEY WERE.. ESPECIALLY DOING THIS PROJECT AND IT ONLY REALLY INCLUDING MY SON AND I. HIS DAD MAKES A FEW APPEARANCES BUT NOT AS MUCH AS I WOULD LIKE... (I THINK). BUT I LOOK AT MY SONS FACE AND HOW HAPPY HE IS ALL THE TIME WITH ALL THE MAGIC WE CREATE TOGETHER AND THATS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT AT THE END OF THE DAY.

Ali, I'm glad to see you are getting better and hope that you continue back on the up and up! :-) Your layout today feels a lot like my cheering layout I did for myself earlier in the month - and I love being able to find this voice when the days aren't what we wish they were! I love that this project creates the space for that, and love that you've encouraged us to express that. All the best to you!
~Theresa

You have hit the nail on the head. There is a great line from the book/movie "One True Thing" that talks about being happy with what you have instead of longing for what you think you want. For me, the thing that hit me over the head was longing for what i THINK i want. Turns out when I was finally able to do that, yep, you guessed, life opened up and although not without it's trails, has unfolded in a way I could have never imagined and I've never been happier. From one who is 20 years farther down the line. You are on the right track and I applaud your intentions and bet you will be successful! Merry Christmas.

I think the Christmas comes to all of us when the anticipation gives way to nostalgia. Nostalgia brings us back to the memories that meant the most to us. Sometimes it gets out of hand--as you said "what you don't have". I realized how silly I can get when a woman in my book group was reminiscing about the Christmas she got a new car, and I thought "Well, I never got a new car for Christmas!" Then I knew. My blessings are just different. (And my car is still old.) Merry Christmas.

Thanks so much for keeping it real, Ali. It is A-OK to have woe-is-me moments. I love that scrapbooking can include them if we let them in. And scrapbooking can also include moments where we get ourselves out of funks. The holidays are full of times when I miss what was: My huge family getting together under one roof, Christmas Eve at my grandmother's house/apartment, the smell of my grandfather's pipe, the hamper at the top of the stairs, warning us kids that it was not time to go down to the tree yet. My kids have not had the huge Christmases that I had. And yet, that has been OK, too.

Thanks, Ali. Wishing you joy this Christmas season. Hoping you're on the mend and feeling better. Michelle t. ps...the star=awesome.

perfect reminder for us all :)

I love your page and your sentiment to find the joy that is right here and now. I too am in a similar life situation as you are. It has been difficult through divorce and autism and finding myself again. I am so happy that I decided to (finally) do December Daily because I want to find the joy that I had before in Christmas. This summer I sorted through all my photographs and made two Christmas albums (a before marriage and kids and an after marriage and kids but before divorce) out of the past years and then wanted to start fresh this year with December Daily. I will continue doing DD in the years to come! My boys will need me for the rest of their lives, but they are adults now and now I need to figure out who I am besides a mom of sons with ASD. Thank you Ali for your inspiration!

A great reminder Ali that most of us need to stop and think about what we do have and appreciate it.

This is so very good for me today, as we've just realized that half of our family (and with 2 grandkids) aren't well enough to come for Christmas as we have all planned. Sad for us here, and sad for the grandkids! But we still have lots to appreciate, especially as no one has terminal illness, etc.
God bless you, Ali! Thank you for the reality and peace you are sharing with us!

I fully and completely embrace all things cozy right now so this is perfect.

I was having one of those days today so I really appreciate your transparency with your life. My boys are gone to their dad's from the 18th to the 27th so not only does this not feel like Christmas but I'm spending it alone. What you journaled is very true. I have a ton to be thankful for and I can choose to find magic for myself. Thank you, Ali.

Encouraging each other through and cheering each other on - that's what we are all about in this group! It is definitely one of my top happy places. Yes, you can do this Ali!

I've been thinking a lot about the emotions of this month, too. December really has it all--the highs and the lows, the moments or real joy and the moments when joy can be stolen by a schema we measure reality against--schemas that are from someone else's life, or no one's. December has those times when we can push ourselves to do more and create something awesome--a piece of this album, a gift, or an experience--and it is so satisfying and exciting, and times when we can't escape the need to be honest with ourselves about how doing more and not letting go of the way we want things to be backfires, so that we miss the moments altogether, or become overburdened and overstimulated I think what is great about this project is that it makes the process the focus--the days of preparation become the thing itself--literally turn into the album. It can feel like another thing to do, another opportunity to get behind, or work instead of just being, but it's also a lifeline of self-awareness and reflection through what can be an emotionally treacherous month. A month that offers such promise that we don't want to (and won't) give up on its potential for magic and joy and connection.

1.Thanks Ali.
Glad you're feeling better.
Love your words.
Wishing you joy and magic for the next few days (and the days after)
2. This is my third year doing DD (my fourth attempt but the 2012 season had been rough - my dad passed away a few days after - got some tears as I'm writing this) and one of the reason I'm doing this project is to be focused on what I (still) have ; even if I'm missing my dad every single day.
3. Your spread is "cozy" and awesome.
I also used this transparency (Day 18) - we are not going to get snow around here - 15°C (59°F) again.
4. Yesterday was the 1st time I saw your "bummer" page. So cool!! Love your faces!
5. Hug
Virginie

Love these words. My whole life, at some point in the season I find myself wishing for "normal" however we define it - For me, it's where I have a mom, and my kids have a loving grandma, and my family close by to celebrate with. Every year I know it can never be, yet it doesn't stop the longing, or the feelings of loss from creeping up on me unexpectedly. It's hard to remember to focus on what possibilities we have and power to make our own magic, I am grateful for the universal truth shared. Even though your particulars are different than mine, your sharing is enough to be a gentle reminder. Happiest of holidays to you and yours! Xo

Thank you Ali for sharing this. Beautiful expression of where you are now. I grew up with my Mom always comparing us to everyone else and remember wishing that she could be happy with where we were and not a "grass is greener" mentality. I try so hard not to do this. We've had tragedy and for a while it defined us but we have to choose to move on.

This is a great reminder that everyone has something that isn't "right" in their life and where they want to be - divorce, death, infertility, job security and more. If we let ourselves get consumed with this then we miss out on the magic that we have. Thank you.

It's funny I just had the same feelings that you had about being sad. We had a holiday dinner party the other night and I was stressed out from the cleaning, cooking,the decorating and trying to capture the group shot that turned into a disaster because I forgot how to use the timer.

The next morning I was feeling depressed about the whole night and what could have made me happy. But then I thought, you know, I should be grateful I made the effort to have my friends over and enjoy the holidays with them and not let the perfection get in the way of the moments. You know the old saying "turning lemons into lemonade".

Well, I'm going to use that photo in my album. So you are so right, there's lots of things we can't control, but we can control our attitudes.

I definitely want to get DD done this year, it will be a great gift to my family and me for years to come. Thank you, Ali, for having us along.

I love your honesty and the realism that you offer. So many people aren't true to themselves and portray this "everything is sunshiny" appearance when in reality that isn't even close to the case. Thank you for these videos and really helping the rest of us to recognize that we need to focus on the magic and not the "should have , would have, could haves"!!! It is very appreciated:) Merry Christmas!!

This is lovely.

And thank you for those words and reminder. As you know, my December hasn't quite turned out the way I envisioned it and I've spent more time wishing for something different that I've missed some new memories and joy. I'm home for now and ready to really soak up the Christmas magic and accept this Christmas for what it is.

Thanks Ali for this. I love when you say "There's lots of things I can't control, but I can control my attitude towards how I live these next few days." This is exactly what I needed to hear right now.

Such an important message, Ali, and one that I am struggling with. I think I will write myself a note, too. Thanks for the inspiration and motivation.

Thank you Ali for taking the time and effort to share and inspire even though you're not feeling well. Your note really struck a cord in my heart and it was just what I needed for these few days before Christmas. Every word you said has meaning to me, you'll never know how much - but I will carry this with me, to remind me when my thoughts wander off from what's right now.

Your message could not have come at a better time for me. I need to sit myself down right now and write my own note to self as to what I have to be thankful for and how I am going to make the next few days as magical and cozy as possible. I struggle around the holidays and this has been an especially rough year. I don't think I can handle one more piece of bad news, but it is Christmas and I want it to be memorable in a good way for my kids. They grow so fast and we have few years left in which we will all be together as a family- this is one of those years and I will do what I need to do to make it count in a good way.