The Evolution Of My Story
It's always been my goal to authentically share my story both in my scrapbooks and in this online space.
To me that means addressing the good, the bad, the beautiful, the successes, the challenges - the very real pieces of my life.
As many of you have noticed, and some have commented and emailed, Chris has been mostly absent for some time from the stories and photos. He has decided that he wants something different with his life and we are in the process of getting a divorce.
Chris continues to maintain an active role in the kid's lives.
There is nothing easy about this.
It's very hard and very stressful and very sad.
And yet, the story continues for all of us. For him and me. For the kids and me. For him and the kids. And there are many, many things I have to be thankful for in my life.
I've always maintained, and taught in my workshops, that not all stories need to be told.
But here, in this space, it's important to me that there's a general awareness of this change. This will allow me to more authentically share my story going forward.
A few months ago I asked for your prayers, your positive energy, your wishes of strength and peace, and your compassion. I'd humbly ask for your continued kindness as this specific chapter closes and new ones begin.
As you consider leaving a comment I would also humbly ask that you focus on something positive, compassionate and/or uplifting. Our heartfelt intent is to maintain a positive relationship as we move forward in our lives.
Wishing all of you, especially any of you who may be experiencing something similar within your own family, peace during the Christmas season.
My heart goes out to you. I too am going through a similar situation. My husband asked for a separation a few months ago and I have no idea what the future holds. We've been married 22 years and have 3 kids. I pray for strength and peace for any person going through this. God bless. Kathy
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Just take it one step at a time, my dear, one step at a time. The stregenth you need to get though this process will rise to meet you. Lord knows you took a big step posting this post and putting it all out there on the table. It is so scary to be vunerable. It also makes it so tangible when you acknowledge the reality of your life and post to thousands of people who only know you through the internet. Kudos for your courage. Know that you will make it though this and you have many "cyber-friends" sending you encouragement and strength. Lean on us. As they say in Winnie the Pooh, "your stronger than you know, and smarter than you think." That simple little quote has gotten me through many a dark spell.
Keep passing the open window....
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2 things have always struck me when I read your blog - firstly, the love you have for your children, and secondly the strength that is within you, from making sure Simon gets the best help he can, to being a rock for others while carrying so much yourself. To open your heart on your blog is a brave thing to do, and you have shown strenght of character and a wisdom beyond your years. You will get throught, with the love and support of your family and friends, but also feeling all the love and strength from your blog family.
Stay strong xx
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Ali,
I'm thinking about you and your family during this time. I remember a recent post where you said that you picked up your camera and taking photos made you feel better at that time. Try and remember the little things that lift you up and give you comfort.
I am always in awe of your outlook, and know that you will be strong, and everything will be OK.
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Oh my friend, my heart aches because of this change in your lives. Sending you love, hope, light, and a promise that you will land on your feet after tumbling stops.
Oh, and another promise: I'll (we--all of your friends will) be there to take you by the hand and create a little fun and mischief with you when you're ready for it.
LOVE YOU, GIRLFRIEND!!!
Liz
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Ali, I so appreciate your story telling! I am inspired almost daily to write more. Today, I am inspired by your asking for what you need and want. This is so important for each of us to practice and it so supports our being authentic. Thanks!
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It is hard to know what to say. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I can't imagine how things must be right now. But it seems everything happens for a reason and I am sure God has a great plan for your family. I admire your willingness to share so much about your life. I hope you continue to be a great idol in the scrapbooking world. You have inspired me a lot. Although I am sure you hear that from everyone! :) I hope the holidays are everything you wish them to be!!
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I am compelled by your honesty and transparency to share your life and am continually amazed at how well you do it. I am a believer that everything happens for a reason. We may find out the reason years later or we may never know...but I feel so strongly that big, small, happy, sad...there are reasons.
Taking it one day at a time is helpful too.
I am thinking of you and your children...wishing many blessings on your family.
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So sorry to hear this but know you will continue to be a positive role model and inspiration to all of us. Thanks for sharing... sending peace and joy to you and yours this holiday season!
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praying for you Ali.
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man....I posted earlier but was just sad and I'm afraid my post was such as well. But, I've attempted to gather myself together (as my grandma would say) and I'm left with:
- your gracefulness and dignity beyond words - I wish I had a teaspoon of it. SERIOUSLY. I'm not as beautiful when filled with sorrrow. I'm messy and ugly. Really yicky. You are STILL SHINING. It might flicker. Or dim. But YOU...your essence and light is still there...KUDOS ALI.
- your bravery and honesty in a world where we always talk about this as if it's a thing of the past. No it's not...look, YOU'RE DOING IT. :) What a staggering and astounding example to your children. Somewhere Brene Brown is cheering your wholeheartedness. And so am I.
- and lastly your ability to find a quote to match even this time in your life. Only Ali :)
I hope your kids are hugging you very, very tight these days. I remember some days in my life like that when my kids' hugs and spirits strengthened mine, and I am incredibly knee-buckling-ly grateful to God and them! I hope you are experiencing the same. And kudos to your mom and dad. I've seen them in your Dec Daily. I'd imagine their presence is so key for everyone's stress. They probably deserve a few fist pumps.
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I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry. Just big hugs for you all.
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I'm sorry Ali. Here's to starting over. It's not easy but it can be done. Please take care.
--Michelle
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HUGS and P&PT heading out....
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Dear Ali,
Thank You so much for sharing your story, I know it must have been difficult. I am thinking of you and your kids and wishing you all the best for this next chapter in your life.
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Ali:
You and your family are in my thoughts & prayers during this difficult time. You are such an inspiration to me. May you find abundant peace, love, & happiness in the next chapter of your story. I wish you well. Much love, Kim
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Oh, Ali, so saddened by this news & also uplifted by your attitude. I know you're both great parents & will focus on the kids and make sure they get through this with as little impact as possible. Huge ((hugs)) to you!
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So so sorry to hear that you are going through this now. It will be tough but I know that you are a trooper and you have a good support system with your family & friends. I wish you and your family well. It was the unspoken elephant in the room but thank you for having the courage to share this with us all, your faithful blog readers. You have given us so much, if you feel the need to withdraw for awhile, you know you have our support to do what you need to do to take care of yourself. May you have the extra comfort of family & friends at this hard time.
Aloaha, Kate
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Oh, Ali, you are such an amazing woman! I have admired you since I started following you back in 2002. Thank you for your raw and honest words, we are all touched by your openness. We know that God works all things for our good to those that love Him and seek Him. Much love sent your way. You will be stronger in the end.
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You are a strong, positive force that amazes us all with your search for the joy in the everyday. Even with this challenge you step up and teach people a new way to view the world with respect, sharing, and a chance to be authentic. Sending you and your family all the love needed to keep going! xoxo, Jana
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Ali, you are such an amazing person. To share this part of your lives with us all takes so much courage...and you've done it with such grace. I'll be thinking of you all and sending prayers your way. :)
- April W
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I just read this in my Experience Life magazine today and thought that you might find it inspiring in your journey...
"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." -Joseph Campbell
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Ali,
In all things, you have chosen to tell the richness of your story (which is only possible by actually leaning into it and living it fully) and in so doing, you have given others the courage to do likewise. You have chosen to write about your sadness and loss in an honest and gracious voice. You have chosen to live and to love and to find joy. And because of those choices, life and love and joy will find YOU... even if they feel like elusive companions for this stretch of the journey.
I hope that this outpouring of affection from your blog readers helps you understand that your art is much more than simply telling stories with images and words...part of your beauty is that you have found a way--through authenticity and inspiration--to actually be a part of so many other people's stories in the ways that you have reached out to us through your words and your pages over the years.
May you know peace in this season that passes all understanding.
P.S. I once heard a (paraphrased) quote that I'd like to share with you here:
"When you come to the edge of all you know, you must trust in one of two things: There will be earth to stand on, or you will be given wings to fly."
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Ali, I am so sorry to read this. I sort of suspected that something was happening that you were not ready to share publicly. It has been five years since my split and I just want you to know it really does get better with time. The hurt and sadness will slowly fade away and eventually one day you will wake up and feel like "you" again. It is an amazing feeling when you get there. I know it is cliché but I truly believe that everything happens for a reason even though it just doesn't seem to make sense at the time. You are an amazing mom and your kids are lucky to have you. Lean on your family and friends as much as you need to - don't feel you need to be strong all the time. Big HUGS to you and the kids as you go through this time of change.
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Everything will be OK, Ali. Different, yes. Difficult, yes. But you will be OK.
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