The Evolution Of My Story
It's always been my goal to authentically share my story both in my scrapbooks and in this online space.
To me that means addressing the good, the bad, the beautiful, the successes, the challenges - the very real pieces of my life.
As many of you have noticed, and some have commented and emailed, Chris has been mostly absent for some time from the stories and photos. He has decided that he wants something different with his life and we are in the process of getting a divorce.
Chris continues to maintain an active role in the kid's lives.
There is nothing easy about this.
It's very hard and very stressful and very sad.
And yet, the story continues for all of us. For him and me. For the kids and me. For him and the kids. And there are many, many things I have to be thankful for in my life.
I've always maintained, and taught in my workshops, that not all stories need to be told.
But here, in this space, it's important to me that there's a general awareness of this change. This will allow me to more authentically share my story going forward.
A few months ago I asked for your prayers, your positive energy, your wishes of strength and peace, and your compassion. I'd humbly ask for your continued kindness as this specific chapter closes and new ones begin.
As you consider leaving a comment I would also humbly ask that you focus on something positive, compassionate and/or uplifting. Our heartfelt intent is to maintain a positive relationship as we move forward in our lives.
Wishing all of you, especially any of you who may be experiencing something similar within your own family, peace during the Christmas season.
Ali, I can't tell you how often my thoughts have been with you in the past few months and my hopes for you and Chris and the kids that your marriage would heal. As I enjoyed seeing your DD album, I'm afraid I also knew that this news would probably not be long in coming. I'm sad for your family because it is a hard thing to go through. I'm glad that Chris is committed to his relationship to Simon and Anna (not all fathers are) and that you are finding your way moving forward to this changed relationship with him as well. I want to share with you something a friend of mine said recently about her own divorce, "My new paradigm: a marriage that ends in divorce can nonetheless have been a remarkable success."
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You have been such an inspiration to so many people – hopefully now we can return some of what you have given us by sending messages of love and support as you navigate this next part of your life. I am coming to the end of a lengthy divorce process myself and I am here to tell you there isn't anything you can't do or achieve, no matter how hard some days may seem. Peace can be found, well-being can be found on the journey and there are many moments of reflection, some sad and yet others can be suprisingly joyful and bring fresh new perspectives… and hope. Finding strength and beauty in yourself while loving your children and being the best parents you can be under the circumstances are things to hold on to. I have no family here, barely any support system and yet, despite the odds, my son is thriving and has a wonderful relationship with his Dad. I am thankful every day for many things. Happiness is a matter of perspective and the journey you are now on will hopefully reveal to you so much, teach you things – positive things – you never thought you'd come to know about yourself or the path your life would take. I wish you love, luck, joy, peace, serenity and hope, Ali. I have no doubt, even though it may not seem this way at the moment, that the future will be bright for all of you. Hugs and much love. xoxoxoxox
'Happiness is a matter of perspective" what a truly lovely comment. When I look around there is always someone else doing it tougher than me.
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Dear Ali,
I'm so sorry to hear about this life changing event you are going through. Both my brother and sister have been through it, and it takes a long time to get through it. Be gentle with yourself, and talk when you need to. Feel everything, and remember that you have to take time to mourn this loss. God bless you, and your precious family.
Take care,
Kim
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I am so sorry. I too feel like I 'know' your family. Thank you for sharing this news so gently... as we all have to adjust now to the change, as silly as that sounds. Warm hugs to you all in this time of grief and sadness.
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Ali- sadly we noticed but knew that you needed your space. Please know you and your family have been and will continue to be in our prayers.
I am a beleiver that all relationships have an expiration date. We learn throught them all. They bring us joy and sadness but they teach us something we needed. You will move forward and come out ahead.
Cyber hugs coming your way
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Prayers and Peace to you and your family.
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{{HUGS}}
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Ali,
Thank you for sharing your story and inspiring all of us. You are incredibly kind, gracious, and generous and deserve the very best in life. I wish you every happiness in the New Year.
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Ali, so very sorry to hear this sad news. May God be your strength always. Bless you.
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I pray that you, Simon and Anna make a smooth transition into this new situation. That you and Chris can co parent successfully. And that soon, you will be able to embrace this as a new beginning.
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Ali,
I wish your family all the best during this difficult time in your lives. I hope you find the joy and blessings surrounding you this time of year and know you have the prayers of so many friends coming your way.
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Your vulnerability and authenticity is commendable. Thank you. Remember when you taught classes with signs that you held up. One was something about "it's only Scrapbooking" and the other was about perfection or the lack of it. The same things can be said about marriages and parenting. I translated them to my then current situation when I took that class...I think it was five favorite photos from 2005. Still one of my all time favorite books. "she couldn't go back and make all the pieces beautiful, she could only move forward and make the whole beautiful.". I think that's close enough to be accurate.
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Oh Ali, the tears roll down my face as I read this an write a very rare comment. My husband and I have had a dreadfully tough year and through it all reading your blog has been a great distraction, grounder and motivator. My heart goes out to both you and Chris during this time and I have absolutely no doubt that the two of you will continue to raise two amazing children with grace and dignity. I think you would be embarassed and humbled to realise just how admired and loved you and your family truly are. You are incredibly lucky to have fantastic parents, family and friends whom I have no doubt will give you great strength and support.
Sending you all love and warm thoughts from Australia this Christmas.
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you are loved, be strong and blessed.
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You received two wonderful, beautiful, smart little bundles of joy from your relationship - that is certainly something to be proud of! I wish you and your family strength and joy through this rough time. I also hope that you and your family are able to enjoy the Holiday together.
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It's all ok. Some people come into our lives for minutes, hours, months, years and forever. Through these relationships we learn a little more about ourselves and the lessons they bring. Moments of clarity. Growth. New opportunities. Life. Living as a human being on this earth. Finding a way through and staying real to yourself. It's all good, both the sorrow and the joy. Growth.
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thoughts . prayers . love . grace . strength . peace...
and please, remember to be kind to yourself...
xoxo...
~p
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I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear this. I have thought of you often in the past few days, and wish you peace during the holiday season. Thinking of you.
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Ali, as one door closes another opens. Sending love & strength, I have no doubt you and the children have a whole world of great adventures ahead of you.
Enjoy Christmas soak in the joy and happiness from you two little antgels.
Here's to the New Year.
Donna
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I will pray for you.
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Thanks for keeping it real! Changes--no matter how big or how small--are always difficult. If you tackle this change with your usual style, even this darker time will turn into something that ends on a positive note. Keep smiling--even when you don't feel like it.
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You and your whole family are in my prayers.
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Hello Ali,
As I read this now, for the umpteenth time, I want you to know that I am praying for you now, that God would give you a big hug, fill you with His peace, and bring you comfort deep in your heart and soul. Praying for Simon, Anna, Chris, and your parents too.
Marie
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Ali -- this is a very old and much used comment but it gets me through my life during very difficult times "Every ending brings a new beginning." As you said, there is sadness but there can also be joy. May your new year truly be a new beginning and may this bring an closure to the initial sadness and joy to the new beginning. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
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I wish you peace.
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