The Evolution Of My Story

It's always been my goal to authentically share my story both in my scrapbooks and in this online space.

To me that means addressing the good, the bad, the beautiful, the successes, the challenges - the very real pieces of my life.

As many of you have noticed, and some have commented and emailed, Chris has been mostly absent for some time from the stories and photos. He has decided that he wants something different with his life and we are in the process of getting a divorce.

Chris continues to maintain an active role in the kid's lives.

There is nothing easy about this.

It's very hard and very stressful and very sad.

And yet, the story continues for all of us. For him and me. For the kids and me. For him and the kids. And there are many, many things I have to be thankful for in my life.

I've always maintained, and taught in my workshops, that not all stories need to be told.

But here, in this space, it's important to me that there's a general awareness of this change. This will allow me to more authentically share my story going forward.

A few months ago I asked for your prayers, your positive energy, your wishes of strength and peace, and your compassion. I'd humbly ask for your continued kindness as this specific chapter closes and new ones begin.

As you consider leaving a comment I would also humbly ask that you focus on something positive, compassionate and/or uplifting. Our heartfelt intent is to maintain a positive relationship as we move forward in our lives.

Wishing all of you, especially any of you who may be experiencing something similar within your own family, peace during the Christmas season.

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934 thoughts

  1. Mandy says…
    12/31/2011

    Dearest Ali, years and years ago, from the first moment I saw your work, read your stories, I admired you big time. You, the way you are, being real, it has deeply changed the way I see daily life. I hope you will feel all the positive energy and support from around the globe multiplied in this new phase in your life. In a little over 2 hours the new year will start here in holland. I will put my glass UP and toast on YOUR new adventure and wish it will bring you and your amazing kids so much love and peace and more beautiful moments and chances then you ever imagined possible. Love, mandy

    Reply 0 Replies
  2. Angela says…
    12/31/2011

    I am so sorry to hear this. Sending you peace and love.

    Reply 0 Replies
  3. debbie says…
    12/31/2011

    Hi Ali,

    I don't know what to say. I am so sad reading this and I wish all the best for you, Simon and Anna. ♥

    Reply 0 Replies
  4. Tracy Smith says…
    01/01/2012

    Ali,

    I wasn't able to check in with your blog during the Xmas hoopla, so I just saw this today. All I can say is that I know how you feel. I have been through a divorce again, and am now looking at the possibility of another one. I, too, am at a major crossroads in my life. Know that it does get better, and while life may be different, it can be very, very good being on your own again, making your life all that you want it to be. I wish you the best in the coming year.

    Reply 0 Replies
  5. Karen C says…
    01/01/2012

    I am sending good thoughts your way, waves of them. Simon and Anna are delightful and with your positive attitude towards the new reality they will be fine. You will too, Ali. You're great!

    Reply 0 Replies
  6. Jill says…
    01/01/2012

    I am so sad and sorry to read this. I am truly sorry for the pain that you four are going through. Seeing 2 other friends, IRL, go through this, makes it even harder to imagine this happening to you as well... it's odd... since we look a peoples lives through this little box... you imagine them to be perfect... never imagining that this could happen to them... I am sorry, and will pray for all of you that you have strength and peace through this change...

    Reply 0 Replies
  7. jenn shurkus says…
    01/01/2012

    ali, i'm behind in my blog reading and just reading this now. sending {{{hugs}}} and thoughts your way. I know your positive energy will work its way into the new relationship you and chris will share.

    Reply 0 Replies
  8. Kaly says…
    01/02/2012

    Thank you for sharing your life with all of us. Like most who have been reading your blog for years, I have seen real glimpses of your life and story. You have opened your heart to us, and though I don't know you personally, I feel a connection with you.

    You and Simon and Anna have been in my thoughts and prayers. It is never easy, but you have shown grace, you are strong, and you are loved.

    Reply 0 Replies
  9. Kelly says…
    01/02/2012

    Ali,
    Just re-discovering your website after a long while. So sorry to hear of this change in your life. Know you are in my prayers this day! God has a great plan for your life.

    I look forward to sharing some of your journey in 2012!

    Reply 0 Replies
  10. Ina says…
    01/02/2012

    Ali, you have inspired me to start PL. As you begin yours in 2012, may you experiece the true knowledge that God's grace is sufficient for you. And Simon. And Anna. We all care about you and will pray, even as checking in with your posts will remind us of the change in your life. May the end of this period turn into a new beginning. Godspeed.

    Reply 0 Replies
  11. reyanna says…
    01/02/2012

    Oh my. This brings tears to my eyes.

    I know how much this hurts. I know what it feels like, and I hate that. I hate that you're having to experience it too. And so even moreso, I hurt for you. I'm sad for you.

    I really hope the best for you guys, Ali. Even though I don't know you personally, you've shared so much of yourself and your family through your blog, so I'm sure many people feel as if we *do* know you.

    You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs to you. :-)

    Reply 0 Replies
  12. Nicole says…
    01/03/2012

    My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Thank you for being brave and sharing such a personal thing in your life. As a single mom of 3 kids, I know the challenges and blessings that come from this type of change. I wish you all the best and sending lots of hugs to you and your family xo

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  13. Fatima Carreiro says…
    01/03/2012

    May the New Year bring you much peace and happiness as you move into a new phase of this crazy thing we call LIFE. Thank you for always sharing the truth with us. You are such a brave woman.

    Reply 0 Replies
  14. Shelley Haganman says…
    01/04/2012

    Oh Ali I am so sorry to hear this but as a woman who has three children and one having Autism and divorced now for 15 years I can tell you from personal experience....YOU can do this! You have been doing this... Divorce is a sad, liberating, confusing, lonely, experience but for some of us it is the RIGHT thing to do. My children were 2,4, and 6 when my husband left for a different life and today they are 22,20, and 18 and are the most wonderful, loving, happy people I know. It has not been an easy road but it has been one that the kids and I have done together. This will bring you and your kids and the kids themselves closer together. I am glad to know you have family close to support you and the kids. You will need it. Most of all know how many of us love and support you too. You are never alone. I will pray for you and your family and wish you all the very, very best!

    Reply 0 Replies
  15. Camille says…
    01/05/2012

    I am just now reading this as I catch up on my blog reader. I will keep you and your sweet family in my prayers. You have been an . inspiration to me to capture stories for my kids because I am the holder of those stories that happened 25 years ago. I cannot remember it all and covet your December Daily albums and this year,your project life album. What a joy to look back and know just what was going on in your life. In all, you have taught us to share our joy and love. Thank you Ali. We are here for you.

    In John Mayer's song "the Heart of Life", he reminds us that the "Heart" of life is good. Yes, very good indeed.

    Reply 0 Replies
  16. Mary says…
    01/06/2012

    Ali you are a class act (and I agree with so many who said you are beautiful and beloved too).

    I pray that there will be beauty for ashes for you and your beautiful children.

    Reply 0 Replies
  17. Bonnie says…
    01/06/2012

    Dear Ali...I just love you for exactly the reason you chose to post about this challenging time in your life. You remind us that the stories of our lives are complex and that they reflect both joy and sadness. But in this complexity we can choose to focus on the good while honoring our struggles. This year I was not able to do my December Daily because my mother has been seriously ill and remains in hospital. During this time my brother-in-law (he is 48) had a near fatal heart attack. So much was happening that I was overwhelmed and did not feel the least bit creative. But something crept in one day during a really sad time spent with my mom while sitting with her at the hospital. I realized that these very moments are indeed part of my story, our story. Although I was afraid to do so I started to take pictures of mom, her room filled with all of us visiting, a crazy and fun holiday luncheon for all the patients and I even gave my camera to my 3 year old nephew so I could "see" the experience from his perspective. During this time I felt so much fear and sadness leave me. Nothing changed really except my perspective and a deep and constant reminder that I am a storyteller. I want to be a truthful storyteller and in so doing remind myself and others that my truth includes focusing on joy, gratitude, and God's ongoing presence in the daily happiness (and sadness) of life. Truly Ali, I had to laugh when I read one woman's post where her husband said, "What would Ali do?" I laughed because honest to goodness this is what crossed my mind that day when I sat with my mother and was bogged down with grief, empty of inspiration and felt like I was losing myself. I honestly thought, "What would Ali do?" *SMILE* With that thought I could not escape my next step...get out the camera and begin to document the beauty of this time. As a result I now have a very truthful and beautiful batch of memories that are being put into a different type of December Daily for this year! And...I am beginning Project Life! Thank you Ali for all that you give through your spirit, your creativity, and honesty. I promise to pray for you and your sweet family. I also pray that you feel the love from your online friends around the world. Big giant hugs to you! Bonnie

    Reply 1 Reply
    1. Ali says…
      01/06/2012

      Bonnie - thank you :).

  18. renee says…
    01/06/2012

    as someone who has been a single parent for over ten years, I can tell you that:
    - now is not forever
    - the best is yet to come
    - journal a ton and capture the now. when you read back a year from now, five years from now, you will be simply amazed at your growth
    - accept and ask for all the help you need.
    - you are deeply loved

    xox
    renee

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  19. Kim Bolyard says…
    01/06/2012

    Just now having time to catch up on your blog...I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I myself have been dealing with the same thing for the past 9 months. My husband deceided after 22 years he no longer wanted to me married...unfortunaley I have been trying to change that with out any luck and I find myself still stuck here and not able to move on or let go...he is still living with me because of finicial reasons which has maded it even harder...you have inspried me, once again, to move forward and know that I am strong enough to make this much needed change and that at some point in the near future I can find peace and happiness again...my word for this year is "HOPE" Hope for a better me and a life that I deserve. Wishing you only the best and all the happiness you deserve.

    Peace
    Kim Bolyard

    Reply 0 Replies
  20. Rachel says…
    01/06/2012

    Ali, I have been thinking about you and your family lots over the holidays...and feeling sad for the changes that are happening, but yet so inspired by your amazing attitude toward it all. Sending love and peace your way and hoping 2012 holds many new, wonderful and happy experiences for you, Simon and Anna. Blessings and strength to you as you walk this new path.

    Reply 0 Replies
  21. Audrey says…
    01/07/2012

    I'm not going to lie, my heart aches and there is a lump in my throat reading this.... please take great pride in your "intent to maintain a positive relationship as we move forward in our lives."
    I really wish I could hug you Ali!
    May 2012 bring you many many smiles!

    Reply 0 Replies
  22. Lyndel says…
    01/09/2012

    Sending thoughts of love, peace and hope your way.

    Reply 0 Replies
  23. Teri H. says…
    01/11/2012

    I really admire your courage for being so honest and forthcoming. You, Simon and Anna are in my prayers as you navigate through this big change. I admire you so much for the attention and care you give to your kids through your memory keeping - they are going to cherish it SO MUCH when they are older. They have one special momma.

    Cheers to a big 'up'lifting 2012! :)

    Reply 0 Replies
  24. cc says…
    01/14/2012

    ali, i met you @ ckc seattle. you were kind, generous and inspiring in your class. may all of the good things you have put out in the world come back to you now when you need it the most. feel the love that surrounds you and feel safe. be brave. you can do this. peace and love to you and your family.

    Reply 0 Replies
  25. Jacqueline says…
    01/15/2012

    The divorce of my over an quarter of a century marriage became final last year. And after all that has happened, and everything I went through, I discovered that I am still standing. The scars are there - some are visible and some are unvisible - but I survived.
    And I learned that I should have not been holding on to the marriage as long as I did.
    It is courageous of you to make a decision like this, but it is better to take it now than over 3 more years or so.
    Wishing you all the strength you need and having faith in your own being.

    Reply 0 Replies

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