The Evolution Of My Story

It's always been my goal to authentically share my story both in my scrapbooks and in this online space.

To me that means addressing the good, the bad, the beautiful, the successes, the challenges - the very real pieces of my life.

As many of you have noticed, and some have commented and emailed, Chris has been mostly absent for some time from the stories and photos. He has decided that he wants something different with his life and we are in the process of getting a divorce.

Chris continues to maintain an active role in the kid's lives.

There is nothing easy about this.

It's very hard and very stressful and very sad.

And yet, the story continues for all of us. For him and me. For the kids and me. For him and the kids. And there are many, many things I have to be thankful for in my life.

I've always maintained, and taught in my workshops, that not all stories need to be told.

But here, in this space, it's important to me that there's a general awareness of this change. This will allow me to more authentically share my story going forward.

A few months ago I asked for your prayers, your positive energy, your wishes of strength and peace, and your compassion. I'd humbly ask for your continued kindness as this specific chapter closes and new ones begin.

As you consider leaving a comment I would also humbly ask that you focus on something positive, compassionate and/or uplifting. Our heartfelt intent is to maintain a positive relationship as we move forward in our lives.

Wishing all of you, especially any of you who may be experiencing something similar within your own family, peace during the Christmas season.

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934 thoughts

  1. Sara says…
    12/15/2011

    Is it weird that a stranger like myself feels majorly bummed and heartbroken? Then knowing that is only a sliver of how you must feel pains my heart. Like many have said, your open style and ease at sharing your life has been like an invitation to many of us into your life. And we respect, admire and feel so loyal to you. I feel like wishing you peace during this time is the understatement of the year. I wish you good friends, many shared bottles of wine, loads of laughter, your parents strong arms to lift you when you feel you cannot bear any more and your words to mark the passage of time and to document the good/bad/ugly.

    You are a really amazing and uplifting person. I know that your loyal friends, family and internet community will rise to rally with you through the next season of change and opportunity. My heartfelt wishes for a wonderful holiday are with you as well as my prayer for contentment and joy in the coming days.

    Reply 1 Reply
    1. Shawna says…
      12/16/2011

      Amazingly well said. I gasp aloud when I read this...my heart breaking as if I was reading the news of a sibling or close friend. But that is exactly how I feel towards you, Ali, and Chris and Simon and Ana. Your beauty in the way that you write...your grace in your honesty. YOU AMAZE ME. I may have written this quote down from your blog, even so, it fits the moment...
      'Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.
      Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude' ~ Denis Waitley
      Happiness will come again to you and yours.
      With much love and prayer to you all...

  2. Dana says…
    12/15/2011

    I am sorry that this is happening. I'm praying for you and your children, that your hearts will find peace and healing.

    Reply 0 Replies
  3. Sue FitzGerald says…
    12/15/2011

    Your an amazing woman who has enriched and enspired so many of us. It may not always be easy but you will get through this.

    Reply 0 Replies
  4. Wendy O. says…
    12/15/2011

    Ali,
    Remember that families come in all shapes and sizes. You and your children are loved and there will always be love for Chris as well. You get to define your story not be defined by it. Love, peace and blessings to you and your beautiful children.
    -WO

    Reply 0 Replies
  5. Tonya says…
    12/15/2011

    "Our heartfelt intent is to maintain a positive relationship as we move forward in our lives."

    This is so important.

    Best wishes to you. Sending you a warm hug!

    Reply 0 Replies
  6. Rheanne says…
    12/15/2011

    Ali

    My hope is that you, Chris and your beautiful children travel this new and difficult path with patience. As I too had to travel this road, my former partner and I made this our focus because we once loved each other greatly and our son was born from that great love. As the years passed and the hurt eased we managed raise a wonderful man who never witnessed our anger or heard a negative word about the other parent. We have a truly blessed relationship both with each other and our new spouses.

    You have a generous spirit and a gracious heart. Because of this you will not only grow from this trial but thrive and so will your children.

    Reply 0 Replies
  7. Nita says…
    12/15/2011

    Ali, you and your family are in my prayers during this time. I love that you have continued to celebrate joy even in the midst of your life's current challenges. You are an amazing woman!

    Reply 0 Replies
  8. Julie B says…
    12/15/2011

    Wishing you peace and joy as every bend in the road reveals a new discovery for you. And keeping all of you in my prayers.

    Reply 0 Replies
  9. Carolyn says…
    12/15/2011

    I've been there. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I have to tell you from my own experience, life gets better, yes better, after such seemingly negative experiences.
    Love to you.
    Carolyn

    Reply 0 Replies
  10. Bec says…
    12/15/2011

    So many of us are holding you and your children up in our prayers. Keep it real and know we are here for you. Many great things are still being prepared for you. I have always appreciated your honestly. I am always sorry when divorce happens. I have experienced it but you keep going and growing.

    Reply 0 Replies
  11. Carole says…
    12/15/2011

    May you find strength when things are hard, peace when life is stressful, and comfort when you are sad. When you've made it through this, you might like this quote from Curly Girl Design:

    "After all that - she was surprised to find that she still knew the words to the song in her heart . . . and she Began to sing along."

    Thank you again for the inspiration you continue to provide every day.

    Carole

    Reply 0 Replies
  12. Sara says…
    12/16/2011

    Ali, you are awesome! You have given me so much through your blog and your classes. I hope that you can feel all the love and strength from so many who want you to be well and happy. We are behind you, holding you up. Peace to you and your family.

    Reply 0 Replies
  13. leslie says…
    12/16/2011

    xo.

    Reply 0 Replies
  14. wendymorris says…
    12/16/2011

    Dear sweet soulful Ali, first of all, you're truly a beautiful inspiration & strong soul. Likewise, experiencing divorce in my life 6 years ago was a very difficult pain, shock, and emotional process...it sometimes still comes back as fresh as day one...but the journey is a bittersweet one where you will see the light and grow stronger. Promise.

    I send you MANY hugs, beautiful thoughts, and love for you & your children to get through it all. I agree we all have days where life is definitely not rosy & grand, and we must document it all.

    Continue to inspire & find the best therapy through creativity! TRUST ME, it is the best therapy, I'm a living example.

    Wendy

    Reply 0 Replies
  15. jen shears says…
    12/16/2011

    You, and your family, are in my thoughts. Your grace is inspiring. I have no doubt that your stories will continue to be focused on JOY....

    Reply 0 Replies
  16. Jill says…
    12/16/2011

    Oh Ali-- I had a feeling something like this was happening. My first husband and I divorced about 20 years ago, so I can say from personal experience that you are SPOT ON when you said that you have a new chapter in your life to look forward too. You send out so much joy into the world, I know that good things are on their way to you! :-)
    "Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -- Frederick Buechner
    You are loved by so many Ali.
    Your Friend,
    Jill

    Reply 0 Replies
  17. Debra says…
    12/16/2011

    Ali, I'm just so, so sorry. My heart breaks for you. Thinking of you and praying for you. Sincerely and with tears.

    Reply 0 Replies
  18. scrapper al says…
    12/16/2011

    Wishing you peace during this difficult time. Thank you for sharing your life with us.

    Reply 0 Replies
  19. Lisa Debouis says…
    12/16/2011

    Life is always challenging, get yourself into therapy. It is the best way to talk to someone on a regular basis and start the healing process of your loss.

    Yes, Chris is still alive, and YES you have your family to attend to daily, but it is a loss.

    So few people look at divorce as a grieving process and if they did, we would be much healthier.

    A friend or family member can only tolerate so much of listening, as they too are grieving, so get a neutral person, who is only there to listen and help you through the steps.

    Also, with all due respect, don't publish your inner thoughts and feelings for the WORLD to see. Keep a private journal.

    Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends in a tear.

    Reply 0 Replies
  20. Neelu says…
    12/16/2011

    My prayers with you and your family...
    hugs
    Neelu

    Reply 0 Replies
  21. shannon b says…
    12/16/2011

    Ever since your last post on this subject I've been thinking about you & your journey. I am so impressed with your strength and today your tactfulness & class as you share this personal struggle in a public light. I'm sure that it is not easy.

    This week when you announced the opening of your One Little Word class for 2012, I went back to your post from January in which you listed the words submitted by your readers. I scanned through the list and knew I'd found mine when it struck my heart. Embrace . . . embrace change, embrace new experiences, and most especially embrace family -- keep them close that we may grow stronger together, be the rock for my children as their world changes (we are moving after 12 yrs in OR), and physically embrace them in my arms as much as I can.

    I'm sure that Simon and Anna have no shortage of love and embraces in their lives. You have great family support around you . . . such wonderful & present grandparents.

    Much love as you move forward and find a new normal for your family. And thank you for inspiring me everyday!

    Reply 0 Replies
  22. Janet says…
    12/16/2011

    I have a friends and family going through this too, and some are not trying to have a positive relationship - so sad. So I commend your courage, your love in moving forward as positively as possible. Wishing you grace and peace.

    Reply 0 Replies
  23. Nicky H says…
    12/16/2011

    Dear Ali, You show such grace in your telling of this time in your life. I feel like you are a sister or an old friend after all these years. You seem to be handling this change well, and I wish you and the kids the best in the next chapter of your lives. I have faith that you three will come through stronger. I have read through many of the comments left here so far and you have a very large and supportive family here. Best wishes.

    Reply 0 Replies
  24. Trisha H says…
    12/16/2011

    You are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you and your family only the best. May God give you the strength you need. Take care of yourself and know that you are loved.

    Reply 0 Replies
  25. Lizzie says…
    12/16/2011

    I'm so sorry. Your post made me tear up.
    I hate that anyone has to go through hard things.

    :(

    Reply 0 Replies

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