10 Things Right Now | Ali
I figured I'd keep the 10 Things Right Now theme going this week and include 10 things about me too. You can read the lists about my kids here: Simon and Anna.
1. Focusing on open, my One Little Word for 2013, has been huge for me this year. I continue to find myself in situations where I'm presented with the opportunity to open a little wider, to consider a different option, to let go, to live in the grey areas, to stretch and grow and change my mind and learn new things about myself (and who I want to be) and to take another brave deep breath. It has challenged me in so many ways and I'm thankful. This is definitely a word I will carry with me into the future. I'll have more details about a One Little Word workshop for 2014 next month.
2. I've been traveling quite a bit the last three weeks mostly related to business. I knew it was coming but man when you lump it all together it's definitely not easy. My parents have been really supportive and helpful during my recent trips and the kids love having them here. Travel for me is very much a yin/yang. I love going and I love coming home. I've got one more big trip this year coming up in the next couple of weeks with ScrapMap to China. I don't think it will actually be real until I get off the plane in Beijing.
3. Sea salt caramels in a jar from Costco. Enough said.
4. That holiday nudge to beautify my home/surroundings is starting to come on strong. I'll be hosting Thanksgiving this year and I'm so looking forward to the activity and food and family noise in my house (and focusing on that vs. wishing my walls were all white even though I would love to make that happen). Christmas will also be with family this year and I'm so, so thankful.
5. Along with the holiday decor are the Christmas gifts. I started my list today and am seriously considering simplifying things for the kids and going with the Want, Need, Wear, Read idea this year. More meaning/more meaningful interactions is what I'm after and what I'd like to have as a piece of our conversations about gifts and giving. Less stuff.
6. All my recent travel has resulted in a few new books on my bedside table (I have trouble resisting airport bookstores). New titles include: When America First Met China, Facing Codependence, and Wonder. Yes, totally random assortment but all interesting nonetheless.
7. I'm learning that the saying "it's likely that your kids need you more as they get older" is true. Navigating life with a child in middle school and all that goes along with that age is a very real piece of my right now (add on some special needs challenges and it's all the more interesting). I'm working on my own communication skills every single day.
8. I have a post in the works (I usually have a bunch of draft posts in the works but not all of them come to fruition) called Life After Divorce. That's all that I've got so far - the title. The words seem to be swirling around in my head and on my heart and I feel like I have something to say about this point in my journey, but I'm still not sure yet. It's likely it will be one of those things I'm never really sure about and I'll simply have to take a leap.
9. December Daily™ is front and center this week as I work on my new digital products and start putting together my foundation pages and a plan for my album this year. I hope to post about that early next week and you should see the first of some of my new products at Designer Digitals this weekend.
10. Last weekend I finally found a new puffy vest at H&M. I've been on the lookout for a new puffy vest for some time after Katie let me know she was about ready to burn/throw away the black puffy vest I've been wearing for years and years. It's affectionately (from my end) come to be known as my security blanket - a go-to on many occasions in my life and something that literally does make me feel protected and comforted. Katie calls it old and worn out. She's right. Of course. So I'm finally letting it go.
Hi Ali! What an amazing post. TFS your thoughts! Although my style is quite different from yours I consider your Life Artist book as my scrapbooking bible. It actually gave me the courage to develop my own style. I feel like I've been rediscovering you and at the same time why I scrapbook and it's importance. I am looking forward to your new projects and thank you for all you do!!
:):)
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#10 is funny Ali... my BFF made me burn my security blanket too, 8 years ago... a leather jacket 3 sizes too big :o) Thanks as always for sharing!
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#8, hits home to me. I too have a draft of a blog post titled "the lost months"....post divorce. And all I've got is the title. After 18 years of marriage and 2 kids, I am 4 months post final divorce hearing and a year and 9 months post separation. Some might think that life after divorce is easier than the time of separation, but I am finding out that it is not and actually is full of a different kind of grief, the kind that is hard to explain. Hence the title "the lost months". It seems that most people expect you to be fine. They expect that if you are not already healed, then soon you will be. They expect you to be ready to move on. And I'm finding, so much of these expectations just aren't applicable to me. So yes, I completely understand how hard it is to string the words together when trying to talk about "life after divorce". It's such a conflicting time. Most conflicting time of my life. So hugs and prayers to you as your heart and mind put those words together...and if they never reach the keyboard, so be it.
I simply don't think you are ever the same and I'm thinking about that a lot - there's so much beauty and sorrow all mixed together.
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When the children get to High School is where you are going to have to have strength.
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life after divorce .. such a tender and raw place for so many - even years later. would love to read your kind, thoughtful and gentle take on a situation that is fraught with so much emotion on all ends of the spectrum. please share if you can.
how to go from the "us" of a nuclear family to the "me" and "new us" of the new order. no answers of course just gentle understanding and growth.
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We have been doing the want, need, wear, and read gifts for Christmas for years. It works out for the best all the way around.
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You will love Wonder. It is an amazing book! It is the book that has changed my own son, who is 8, as a reader.
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I do #5 and have for the last couple of years - since 2010. I can't say how enough how happy I am I decided to do this. Now all my girls (all four of them) know they will get the same number of presents and they enjoy guessing what they will get in each category. If you would like to, I wrote a short post on it a year or so ago. Even if you don't want to read about it - it's a fantastic system!
http://www.4inspirationsphotographyblog.com/suzanne-mcgrath-photograp/2010/12/want-need-wear-read.html
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Life After Divorce... YES!.. leap ..... Divorce is life changing. Knowing that it's something that you have to deal with forever when you have children can sometimes be a heavy burden. Sometimes we all need to speak about our triumphs and our losses while we navigate the new life journey.
so many of us are going through this challenge ... I would certainly welcome some words of wisdom, as I am just embarking on this unwelcomed journey
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Thanks for the 10 things lists, I have read yours often and never done it and now I wish I had. Writing those lists for our whole family tonight has helped me be grateful in season with the children where it is too easy to see the negative and be stuck there, not only that but consider myself and DH in a different way. I will definitely do this again!
Thank you Thank you Thank you
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you may want to consider one of your words for ONE LITTLE WORD in the near future SEPERATION! as I read your posts about your children and how VERY MUCH they mean to you....I have 3 and they are my world....I now have to say WERE my world. I was an at home mom and my life was centered around who they were and what they did each and every day. Those days have long been not a part of my life and I miss those days SO VERY MUCH! I do hope when the time comes for you, that you can let your children fly with the wings that were given to them....because if you think having a middle school aged child is a little challenging just wait until they leave home and are many, many miles apart from you. You give me strength every day to do some type of journaling and writing down my thoughts in words. I'm still not that good at it, but I continue to work at it. THANK YOU!
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Such a lovely post Ali, you do so inspire me. And you've left me feeling just a little festive, in a "time to start thinking about it" way. After bonfire night (November 5) it will definitely be time to start taking action! I've been reading your blog for years now, and you never cease to leave me feeling a little better than when I arrive. So thank you. Your thoughtful posts have a little magic to them. Hope you have a good weekend.
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#7, yes. I have four (30, 22, 18 & 16) and learned quickly that the early years are physically taxing, but the teen years are mentally and emotionally challenging. You need brains and patience and insight and tact and the ability to carry on a deep conversation at midnight after an already long day when you have a teen. It's a wonderful age, but stressful for all involved (and we thought babies were hard!).
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Tied in with your one little word for the year, I will say (as I find I often do when your posts compel me to comment) thank you for being so open with us. I love reading your words and somehow find some common thread between your thoughts and mine, even though we are living different realities. I LOVE #5 and was actually just thinking about that this week as the holidays are already creeping into my mental to do list. My son's birthday is on NYE, right after Christmas; so his abundance of "stuff" seems to grow exponetially at the end of the year. And I was reading an article recently that talked about the more toys a child has, the less he/she actually plays with. I could probably count on one hand the toys that get touched and make a two page list of the toys that don't. So definitely hoping to simplify this year.
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I agree with #7. I have two teenaged girls and they definitely still need me. I guess in a different way though. When they were younger they needed me physically...to play games with them, to cook their supper, help with homework, teach them to do laundry. Now, they need me mentally...what do I think about their essay? how can they support their friend who just broke up with her boyfriend? should they quit their job to focus more on school? So, the focus shifts. But man, is it ever rewarding when suddenly my eldest leaves me flowers and a note saying how appreciative she is of my input into her life...
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Cross-reference #1 and #8. :)
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[…] I am taking a cue from Ali Edwards (as always), trying to take a break from scrapbooking and documenting 10 things about myself right now: […]
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What a lovely post. Much of what you and everyone who has responded said strikes a chord with me too. I love lists, and I both like and have experienced things on your list. I am very happy with my OLW "understand" that I have dwelled on so much this year - and come to the conclusion that sometimes the "understanding" is that complicated issues in our life don't have to be resolved, we can just understand their complexity and that we did the best we could. I can say that with both my kids - neither is/was the "popular" teen and both have missed out on some of the expected "milestones" like homecoming, prom etc...but I have come to "understand" that finding your path is not about fitting a set mold, and that that set mold does not guarantee fulfillment anyway. There is no right/wrong way to move forward in life if you are a kind, caring person with good morals who tries their best. I am blessed with a good marriage relationship, but that said, even those of us who have never seperated have deep seated hurts and unresolved situations that we have buried in us. As humans we are a mix of strengths, abilities, insecurities and vulnerability. I love that you celebrate all of those traits here on your blog. :)
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How is it that whenever I pop over to your blog you always seem to say a few things that I need to hear? You have been on my mind lately! Is that the same puffy black vest you had in college? Though I agree it may be time for a new one, when you spot it in the back of the closet it will make you recall some great memories. Miss you!
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Great reflections for yourself! It's really important to reflect on our lives and feelings outside of our kids. Great journaling.
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I love the idea in #5. Great idea for Christmas, I will definitely use that this year.
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Love this list, Ali. #2.Great idea.
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Love...love...love the book Wonder! Everyone should read it! Enjoy!
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# 3 - Amen sister. I'm not sure my jar lasted a month - maybe even just a couple of weeks. :)
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personal vaporizer 10 Things Right Now | Ali | Ali Edwards
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