Week In The Life™ 2015 | Tuesday Words & Photos
Today I'm going to start my journaling with either "she" or "he" or "I" in an attempt to capture/write more about who each of us is right now (in alignment with my 2015 intentions).
Please remember, as I share these photos with you, that this is my life. These are my moments and my stories and my real emotions and feelings. Please remember that we all have pain and we all have great joy. Please remember that I'm not pushing anything other than advocating for you to document and celebrate your own life. Please remember that real life is just that, it's real - which is often messy and most of the time doesn't fit into a simple little box that is easily photographed.
My goal is sharing my real life with you is to encourage you in your own memory keeping. We probably lead different lives. You might not know what it's like to go through a divorce. I don't have a lot of experience with death. You might not know what it's like to have a child who deals with a very real disability that will impact the rest of his life in various ways. I don't know what it's like to have all boys. You might not know what it's like to see the possibility of a new relationship after divorce and you might not understand that the "normal" path you have always thought you'd follow might just not be the way it ends up. There are so many things I don't know about what it's like to live your life.
A few years ago when I originally ran 31 Things, someone complained that I should not be teaching a workshop like that (writing about my life) when I was going through very hard times. It was too depresing for them. They didn't like the stories I was telling. They didn't like the sadness in my voice or the grey tint to my perspective on my own life at that time even as I tried to focus on the good. I will never forget that person's comments because for me, writing stories - even the ones that aren't always sunshine and rainbows - was part of the way I survived during that time. Maybe you are there right now. Maybe you are in a time in your life where it's really hard. Maybe this project or taking photos or writing about your life experiences becomes a lifeline for you as well.
My point today, let's be kind and compassionate and encouraging to each other as we share our stories. Let's be the ones who lift each other up instead of tearing each other down. Let's remember that there isn't one path we all walk down throughout our lives.
Here's a look at my Tuesday:
I am thankful for his kind heart.
I believe in the ebb and flow of life.
Those of you who have followed along with this project for a number of years might remember other shower photos I've taken during Week In The Life™. The first one was taken during a time when it had become very evident that Chris was going to leave and my hands were over my eyes ( 2011) and I think I've taken others as well but I couldn't locate them on a quick search last night.
These shower shots have become for me a story in and of themselves.
Some people think it's crazy that I'd take my camera into the shower. For this one I turned on the water and then stepped inside with my camera in hand, knowing that I would take one or two shots right as the water was beginning to come over my face. This was the third shot. As soon as I took it I put it back outside the shower.
I try to pay attention to the things I see all the time in new ways, or at least attempt to appreciate their beauty. And lines, always there are lines.
She asks, "Mom, how do I get to that place where I can type the words?"
He sleeps. When we first brought Sam home he found this basket and it's been his spot ever since here in the office.
She brought me a non-fat latte. We work.
The challenge to myself, when documenting starts to feel mundane (during Week In The Life™ and in life generally), is how can I see this scene differently? How can I see us sitting in the office differently? What happens if I shoot from above or below or on the ground rather than straight on? What happens if I go to the other side of the room vs. in the doorway. I'm conscious of these things as I'm shooting and I enjoy the creative challenge of attempting to see differently through the lens. This is one of the techniques I recommend to people who say their life is boring or their story uninteresting or that they do exactly the same thing everyday - my challenge to you is the creative task of seeing your life, your surroundings, your routines in a new light. It's one of the beautiful ways we are invited to grow through the process of this project - regardless of whether you have kids or a spouse or no two days that look the same.
And in the very same breath, I still love the repetition. I love seeing the same shot in the same location over and over again - it might look like nothing has changed. Look again.
What is a typical week in the summer for us? We don't really have one. Sometimes the kids are gone with Chris. Sometimes we are all gone on an adventure together. Sometimes they have camp. Sometimes they are with my parents. This week there is no camp so there's a lot of lounging and just hanging out. This is the first summer that camps felt less mandatory in terms of my ability to get the work done I need to do. My kids are getting older - they are able to occupy themselves and/or we have a friend or two come over for a playdate/hang out time. During the day while I'm working they do a combination of reading time, screen time, outside time, and general just play in your room time (usually that's legos for Simon and barbies or other people/animal toys for Anna). They don't play together much - the seven year age difference and the cognitive differences are both part of that. They do watch movies or shows together and have gotten pretty good at agreeing on what they are going to watch. Sometimes they will play a game together but most of the time they are doing their own things. Having some weeks that are definitely unscheduled is really nice - as well as having scheduled weeks with more activities. I like having both as a part of our summer lives.
He sleeps. A lot.
I fix a quick breakfast/snack for myself and both kids.
She has pineapple, bacon and a hard-boiled egg. He has cantaloupe, bacon, and an english muffin.
He was done with the photos early today. Both wear robes in the mornings. She has two pink ones - one that is almost beyond too small. He has a navy blue one and two Star Wars robes in his rotation. He needs a belt.
I have cantaloupe, bacon and a hard-boiled egg.
I'm having a hard time focusing. Might be that I know it's a transitional time as summer winds down. Might just be that I'm restless. Sometimes when I don't have immediate deadlines I have a harder time focusing (even though there are always deadlines) - it wasn't always that way but now that I'm overall producing more work it seems to be the case - almost like I don't know what to do when there's not something very specific to be done. It's always in flux. I mentioned on a podcast recently ( this one) that one of the things Katie and I are doing in the office is that when we get our tasks done for the day then we need to be done - as in leave the office, go do something else, live our lives. The kind of work I do can be consuming and my personality tends towards being all-in. In order for it to be sustainable, I have to take breaks and step away (mentally and physically) and have other hobbies and fill myself up in other ways.
He watched way too many Scooby Doo episodes today. But he did go on a walk. A few weeks ago I implemented a 30-minute walk task for each day. He's got the Nike app on his phone and he walks for 15 minutes around the neighborhood and then turns around and walks 15 minutes back. He listens to movie scores (Star Wars and Indiana Jones) and classical music while he walks. He has been really open to this suggestion and I'm so thankful.
She and I have caprese for lunch.
He sleeps. Again.
We work. My posture isn't usually that straight.
She found this in a basket of things from her birthday party a few months back (remember how it was a later-in-the-year-friend-party?). It was wrapped. She shared it with each of us.
He has an hour of reading to do each day. He often falls asleep. Today it was on the couch in my office.
After Katie leaves for the day around 4pm I usually start dinner or do a pick-up around the house. Today I picked up just a bit before we took Sam to his first vet appointment.
She had a meltdown in the care on the way to the vet. She'd like to be able to stay home with Simon or by herself, but it's not time for that yet.
I had a meltdown because I forgot the paperwork from the Humane Society that had Sam's medical records.
He ate three tostadas tonight and cut his own strawberries.
I cooked artichokes for myself and Anna.
He had horse lessons. Chris and I take turns getting him there and supporting him through his ups and downs. He's currently frustrated because they are intentionally switching horses to help him develop his skills communicating with the horses. He, as you might imagine, would rather ride just one. It's a lesson in sticking with it, in practicing things that are hard, in communicating and in not giving up. It's always been a fine line for us as we make activity choices for him - easy or hard, stick with it or let it go.
After all that, he actually got to ride his favorite horse tonight.
She and I ate dinner and then headed over to the pool for her to get some sillies out.
After we were there I wished I'd brought my suit.
As we drove back home she requested Taylor Swift. She always requests something from her playlist now.
By 8:30pm we were all back at the house for popcorn and a show before bed and working on this post.
Thank you for sharing your stories with me. They fill me up. They give me hope. They teach me.
Let's keep telling stories together.
SHARE A LINK TO YOUR BLOG
I'd love to have you share a link to your TUESDAY words and photos below. Please link directly to your post vs. a general blog link. In addition you're invited to come over to the free Week In The Life™ Community Gallery & Message Board.
Just a comment to those that think their lives are boring... Guess what! Everyone thinks that!
I did this project for the first time last year. I documented all the little boring things my family does. Know what? We do different boring things now! My husband has a different job. We both have different work schedules. My kids are almost a year older. I like to think that my children will appreciate it one day when they try to remember what it was like to be 6 and 12, or when they wonder what I did at work every day.
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What I LOVE about you is that you DO Share the difficult/ hard/ depressing/ challenging/ or otherwise troublesome times that happen in your everyday life. Along with the GOOD of course.
I remember a few years ago during WITL I had an very close uncle and cousin that got badly burned and it was not looking good for them---but I included it in my album!! (all's good now) But I am so grateful that I did. You have taught me to document the good and the bad---And for that I THANK YOU!
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I love to read you. I love your way of telling stories. You are inspiring me. Very much. In so many ways. <3
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This post just resonates with me. I love the fact that you are so real...life isn't always perfect or the way we think it should be. Part of my story this week includes messy stuff like not doing the dishes the night before and using my coffee cup from yesterday (rinsed out) and the fact that my 16 yr old tried to do laundry but overloaded the machine and kept popping the breaker and I had a meltdown about that. Looking for the good in stuff ( like he's actually trying to do laundry!) is part of the beauty in this project. Everyone's stories are their stories and there is value in all of it! Thank you for being real!
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Thank you for all you do. Your words and photos posts are some of my favorites! The stories, the good and the not so good are all worth telling. I learned that from you. There was a time, I thought that because I did not have children...my story didn't need to be told. You helped me to see that I still had so many stories to tell. Thank you again for sharing so much with all of us.
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I sadly shake my head at the person who made that comment during "31 Things". They have clearly never written out a "hard" story. But they should.
I have written several of these hard stories. I try to avoid them, even though I know I won't escape it. It may be years down the line, but I will write it when it will no longer stay inside. I will wait until I am alone. When the kids and my husband are gone and I can be in the quiet alone in my thoughts. I will get out my paper/laptop and let the words flow through my pen/fingers. It will be hard at first but something with take over, as if my heart knows what it wants to say. And I cry, tears flowing down my face. Stopping once in awhile to wipe them with the back of my hand, so I can continue. And then it will be on the paper/screen etched into it. And the pain is still in my heart, it remembers it. But it's not so fresh, it doesn't fill my heart, it is just a small part of it. And the pain is on the page. I am free of it, and it of me.
No one can take this from me. These are my feelings, and I am allowed to have them. And so should you. No one should be able to tell you how you feel.
And to that person who made that comment, she will have carry around her pain, the weight of her sadness around with her. She will never get release.
So incredibly well said! Thank you! This is exactly how I feel about my struggles. Thank you for sharing it!
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Ali, loved your pep talk about kindness, there can never be too much kindness! For me this week is about pushing through. There is sadness and perseverance and joy. (I've said this before) The Monday after WITL 2014 my twenty three year old nephew committed suicide. These last nine months have been a heart breaking time for me. I have never been this close to anyone that choose to end their own life. To watch other family members spool out of control and others live blind to the living brings about feelings of helplessness. I say all this to say, life is messy and beautiful and filled with pain and joy. Truth can be bitter tea or sweet honey on the tongue...
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This project is very individual. I am so happy to photos of just my everyday. I too know the hardship of divorce and it is each person's own individual journey and how they move through it. Thank you so much for this project, I have already learned that I am perfect just the way I am. :)
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While I was trying to get in the mindset of documenting my "boring" life, I wrote a post on the WITL message board about feeling unprepared. I mentioned in that post that my life is filled with grief right now and it consumes me. It was an explanation, I wasn't expecting a reaction to it. The people who responded were kind and supportive and thoughtful and inspiring. I felt uplifted and encouraged. Loved, really. Even though I don't really know anyone, the compassion and humanity came through. People follow you because you hold your head up high and tackle whatever life has to offer with poise and grace. You are an inspiration just by being brave enough to share your journey. You make me feel like we are all in this together. You actually make me feel like you are my friend...
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Photos only tell a fraction of our stories and I don't know you personally so I don't know the story the photos don't tell but yesterday's photos and today's photos showed me that you and Chris, and Aaron too, are giving Simon and Anna such an amazing gift just by co-parenting in a positive, amicable way. I'm sure it wasn't always like that and it's probably not always easy but the benefits to your kids are worth it. My parents divorced when I was 5 and it was not amicable, my mother spent a lot of time badmouthing my father, listening in on phone calls, opening my mail, not giving me my mail, etc, and it has coloured every part of my life ever since. I'm not very good with words so I can't get out all the feelings I wanted to say about things but I just wanted to tell you that your kids are very lucky to have so many people in thier life who love them and put their needs first and please keep sharing your stories with us, the good and the bad, because we love reading them.
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Ali, I've followed you for a few years now on and off, but more on this year than before. I only follow one other blog for scrapbooking (a couple more for cardmaking)and I enjoy everything you do. I'm a simple scrapper at heart as well and as I'm looking at your Week in the Life (not my first time following you with is project)but this time I'm becoming motivated to join you the next time. Like so many that have posted here I believe my life is so ordinary and why should it be documented, but as time moves on I realize that these memories are just thing I will need years from now to remind myself of my blessings and to share with those that love me most.
Thank you for what you do!
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thank you Ali.. seriously just Thank you. our lives our different but similar too. i too am trekking down a path i didnt think i would be. but here i am and thank you for encouraging me to deal with it and embrace it and accept it. xoxo
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I wanted to thank you also for this post. I love this project and every year I seem to get better at documenting the everyday. This morning, I had a perfect shot of our kitchen, the low light and all. I wanted to capture us getting ready but it did not work. So I captured the photo and just started thinking about all that goes on before 7 am. It was incredible the things that happened, the sounds and the doings. So just when you think you life is mundane, pay attention to the surroundings and jot them down. I amazed myself on all that we do just to get to work in the morning. I will share the journaling on the message board.
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I so appreciate your openness and honestly in telling your very real stories. It's a challenge for me to do the same. I am working towards being more authentic and vulnerable. This project definitely helps with that.
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I honestly can't say how much I appreciate your honesty any better than those above - do DITTO!! I am SO loving your photos, as usual. I'm wondering how you get so much white into them without losing the wonderful colors? When you're not buried in projects, I'd love to hear how you do that! Thanks for keepin' it REAL and beautiful!
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Can't say it any better than the people who commented above - so I'll just say "DITTO" to the max! Loving your amazing photos! When you're not buried in projects, I'd love to know how you get so much white into them without losing the brilliant colors!
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Thank you for sharing your stories and craft with us.
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Thank you Ali for sharing your life. I think it helps to see that everyone is real and deals with real life things. No ones life is identical, they can run parallel, and I think by seeing the reality - divorce (me too), single parent (me too), work-life balance - gives the feeling that we are not alone. im dealing with aging parents and it scares me. So I need to be around people who will help me see the positive, to keep encouraging me to enjoy life as it is now. Naysayers don't get any power when we do this. Enjoy! :)
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Beautiful. Love you.
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Ali, I am always so amazed at your openness and honesty and willingness to share in such a public space the ups and downs of your real life. It is so refreshing and relieving to read your blog. It all doesn't have to be perfect. It's ok. You reassure me of that almost daily and I just love it. Yours is one of the only blogs that I continue to read as I've made a conscious decision to only spend my time on things and people who lift me up and provide a positive influence. Thanks for all you do to provide inspiration for us to keep going and tell deeper stories through memory keeping. Your kits and classes and projects that I've followed along with have been some of my favorite and most meaningful activities of my year.
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I'm sorry you had to "hear" something like that... I really admire you openness, and it must be really hard to bare your soul like that. At least it would be for me. Reading about your life is very inspiring, keep sharing and don't let those haters let you down. You know, haters gonna hate... and I have another Taylor quote for you: "I could build a castle out of all the rocks you threw at me..." Let's go build our castles!!!
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Oh Ali, seriously? I don't think that that person understood the concept of "real" scrapbooking. I am still hesitant in scrapbooking or adding negative things into my PL/ story...but I did add my miscarriages into PL as an "this is real life, it happened" (Thanks to your encouraging words during a life chat for a workshop regarding how and when to add the hard stuff...death, divorce, miscarriage etc.)...and here is what popped in my head:
Cause the players gonna play, play, play
And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate
Baby I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake
Shake it off
Heartbreakers gonna break, break, break
And the fakers gonna fake, fake, fake
Baby I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake
Shake it off, Shake it off...
Ok, not as serious, but you get the point.
Hugs. ;)
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This world would be a much nicer place if we all were kind to one another. It's really not that hard. Thanks for the reminder Ali. I'm really all in with this project this time around. Not sure why, I just am. I'm really loving it.
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I for one love that you share so much of yourself and your story with all of us. It is what makes you real and human. Don't ever hold back and life is not all sunshine and roses....so we shouldn't ever pretend that we have never been through a dark time in our life. The fact that you pull us in, helps us feel less alone in our documenting. I can't believe someone would criticize for being real. Keep all the stories coming!!!!
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I wasn't going to share my days on my blog, but your words and thoughts are encouraging it now. Even though I make an effort to record things, it may help with recollection later on. I am loving this project and the attention to details & looking at things differently. You have some great photos here.
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