A Story About Two People

I want to tell you a story about two people.

Two people who fit together, as he says, like a jigsaw puzzle.

I tell him I like him more and more everyday.

There are moments we cling to each other, moments we push away, moments we fall back and moments we fall forward - both alone and together.

We are a complicated pair. In our own heads often. Intense. Independent. Damaged (and I mean that in the best possible way). Passionate. We are so very different and so very much the same.

We have tangled schedules. We tip toe. We ask forgiveness. I soften as I remember these are new pathways and I can choose something different this time.

We inhabit a new territory. Our families broke open. We know that sadness. We know the questions and the fear and the desire to create and build and protect. We know what it's like to know someone forever and ever and then have that person disappear (even though both are still integral pieces of our lives). We know the reality of stories that have an ending.

We also know new joy and we've felt that rush of a beginning.

We are learning as we grow. Alone and together about who we are as individuals and who we are together and what it means to have our families expand.

I don't know how this story will end. It's happening right now and we're living it. Sometimes these sorts of stories are really hard to tell because you're living in the middle of it.

If we always waited for the end to tell a story we'd miss so much.

When I feel most afraid I remind myself that there are things to say, and things to celebrate, and pieces to document without fear of how the story will end. Do stories ever really end? Or do they just change and curve and zig zag and evolve into the next one?

Our family stories are different now, but they are still our families.

What I know is this, he has a huge giant heart of gold even when he tries to hide it with jokes and sarcasm. And the cure for everything just might be pie. Pumpkin for him, fruit for me.

We are in it people. One day at a time.

To be continued.

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  1. Dalon

    2014-07-11 13:43:20 -0400

    thanks so much for posting this Ali - you have such an amazing way with words! I appreciate your raw honesty - thanks so much for sharing your personal life with us :-)

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  2. tanya smith

    2014-07-11 15:25:21 -0400

    wow. this hit close to home. my story is similar....going to read this to my amazing boyfriend right now. thanks for sharing, Ali. You have a wonderful way of telling stories.
    ~t

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  3. teddi

    2014-07-11 18:59:09 -0400

    it's the stuff of poetry. you know you're a good writer when the reader feels like what YOU wrote could be written for & about them too. even if it isn't. you know you're a good writer when you are staying true to yourself, keeping details specific as tangible imagery, & vague enough, that they're still universal. you know you're good writer when not just other people tell you are. that even if no one ever reads what you've written, you know it's good. you're willing to risk the vulnerability & being brave bold soul continues to guide you forward. even when the last thing you feel is courage, you climb on.

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  4. Eileen Dean

    2014-07-11 19:29:30 -0400

    I think I know this guy. Doesn't he wear a panda hat sometimes?
    I'm so happy for you both, glad your hanging in there. You deserve love.

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  5. Brooke

    2014-07-11 19:35:20 -0400

    You are wonderful!

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  6. MilliD

    2014-07-11 19:52:51 -0400

    I am going through a divorce after being married for 27 years, together for 30. My heart is breaking and you give me hope. Thank you for being so open, so honest, so real.

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  7. Dawn Cheshire

    2014-07-12 12:18:23 -0400

    Love this, you have a fabulous way of putting feelings and thoughts into words!

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  8. Donna

    2014-07-12 20:04:59 -0400

    Your story made me think of this...

    "Stories Don't End" by Dawes: http://youtu.be/6XNIOpj0bJc

    Lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/dawes/storiesdontend.html

    Keep living and writing those stories!

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  9. Vera

    2014-07-12 21:11:58 -0400

    Beautiful!

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  10. Cindy B

    2014-07-12 21:24:20 -0400

    Ali, thank you so much for this post. It was so beautiful. Heartfelt. And REAL. I know, for myself, that on the survey I'd like to know more about your personal life (without sounding like a stalker) and I'm sure it's hard to find a balance on what to share on your blog. I love the pics of you and your man and like a curious cat I always wonder things like "where did they meet"... how often do they see each other.. on and on. It's human nature to be curious I guess but I sincerely hope it doesn't come off as nosey. So, thanks Ali, for opening up and sharing this wonderful story.. may the story never end.. :)

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  11. Rachel

    2014-07-14 16:52:24 -0400

    Ali,

    I attended one of your classes in Troy, MI about one year before my previous marriage collapsed (about a year before Anna). You were so inspiring. It was during the "it is ok" period and I learned to embrace the imperfect. So,l I never saw my marriage implosion coming and it totally and entirely changed me. Like, peeled my skin off, burned my bones, and left me raw and naive that someone could be so awful to their spouse. I had 3 kids: a one month old, a 7 yr old, and a 5 yr old when I moved out. I was devastated and angry and clung tight to my faith in God, to my family, and to my friends. And I kicked ASS at being a single mom. Courage and strength come when called, let me tell ya. Well, you know that I'm sure.

    I moved across the country to find a job and found... omg, so so much here. About 2 yrs after my divorce I met a man who was different than any man I'd ever met before. Also divorced and damaged, with a daughter. Once we believed there was hope, we fell fast and hard in love. We are now remarried - have been for almost 4 years and it is so worthwhile. but it is HARD. Harder than the first time by far - and a million times more rewarding!!! I read this post and I teared up immediately. i get it.

    I get it.

    The constant fear and defensive nature we have as divorced people - having been blown to bits before by love and afraid of letting that other person in 100%. And now that we're a blended family the other side - WHOA - my new husband's ex is a treasure (that was TOTAL sarcasm), so I'm on the defensive about that as well. But I've learned as long as he and I are good, that we cannot control the ex's behavior. We have to live on in spite of it.

    We always speak our minds and tell the other when we're hurting. ALWAYS. Best advice I could give anyone. To not be afraid or walk on eggshells. Tell them your heart, your hopes, your fears. Put it allllll out there and make them do the same. Pray for each other. Then, one by one, put the puzzle pieces together and it fits. IT FITS. OMG - it fits!

    I know what 'we are both damaged in the best possible way' means - Ali. YES. Go, you! Embrace this happiness, Girl. you are a different, better, more wise version of you now - I'm sure of it. Be honest and be you. Always, always be you. (Sorry, my years-long love of your creativity and attendance of one class has made me your advice-giving bestie all of a sudden. LOL)

    What I want to say is this: if a faith in God is something that you both share, do that wholeheartedly together. As often as possible in whatever ways work for you. But also, believe in love and happy. Allow yourself to have hope and take your time. It DOES happen again. Love is a choice you make. Don't be afraid to make it.

    God bless you guys. I'm praying it all works out.

    Rachel in SD

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  12. Sheri Elmont

    2014-07-14 19:47:35 -0400

    Thank-you for sharing. So beautiful!

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  13. Jennifer Johnson

    2014-07-15 02:21:26 -0400

    Your writing is beautiful - I love this! It gives me hope for my future!

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  14. Yam’s Project Life: Week 28 + Overthinking a PL Spread | Life Documented Manila

    2014-07-15 12:55:27 -0400

    […] week, I read Ali’s post and some of the lines she wrote resonated with me. I took note of those lines and decided to […]

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  15. Jodi Sloane

    2014-07-15 21:36:20 -0400

    Very sweetly written, Ali. What you wrote here: "If we always waited for the end to tell a story we’d miss so much" is so true! I've never thought about that in the context of writing about a romantic relationship. I try to keep up on documenting what's happening month by month with my children but haven't ever thought about documenting what life is like with my husband. Thank you for sharing your life and your love (sounds blissful) and thank you as always for your inspiration.

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  16. Leslie S.

    2014-07-16 02:03:32 -0400

    I love this post Ali. Such a beautiful way to talk about your relationship. I'm so glad you found a special someone again, you sure deserve all the happiness he brings you.

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  17. Stacey

    2014-07-17 09:11:54 -0400

    Yay you for embracing the hear and now. Absolutely nobody knows what the future holds, so glad you took the opportunity to embrace today. You truly practice what you preach, hats off to you

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  18. Raegan L

    2014-07-23 12:41:01 -0400

    Thank you Ali for being so transparent! I have followed you for years and you have inspired me in my creative life and now with the new chapters in YOUR life, you are inspiring me in MY personal life! THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart! So wonderful to see your smile!

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  19. Susan Cyrus

    2014-07-24 17:09:02 -0400

    Very touched by your words. :) Congratulations, Ali! Very happy for you!

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  20. Stephanie Howell

    2014-07-26 04:13:58 -0400

    Oh, Ali. I love this. I love the two of you together. Really. Being around y'all is just a joy. And best of all you laugh so much together, which is a gift in itself. Love you! Now COME SEE ME!

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  21. Tinka

    2014-07-28 01:43:26 -0400

    Love you...love him...love the two of you together and I am so glad that you found each other. Your comment "...he has a huge giant heart of gold even when he tries to hide it with jokes and sarcasm..." made me smile because that is exactly the impression I had! Looking forward to the next chapters of this story...

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  22. Kim Su

    2014-07-28 19:30:35 -0400

    Well said Ali…simply beautiful! Life is "real" good! :D

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  23. Denise

    2014-07-29 13:01:28 -0400

    Wow! Thank you for sharing this. It is beautiful.

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  24. Chrisy@GoodNorthCoastLife

    2014-07-30 23:20:56 -0400

    I actually read this post when you first posted it, but wanted to come back and say how brave and authentic you are. xx
    It speaks volumes for who you are as a person.

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
  25. Ellen

    2014-08-02 15:00:05 -0400

    I love this! So very well written!

    * edited 08/08/14 05:58PM
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