Yesterday, after a particularly challenging few mornings and afternoons, Simon and I had a little meeting to make a responsibility chart. As I got to some of his afternoon responsibilities he said, "May I have the pen?" I handed it over and he wrote his current favorite sentiment: "No School."
Meaning he would like to do anything other than go to school.
"No School's" best friend is "But I'm Tired."
Sometimes they pal around with "I Don't Care," "NO," or the occasional random friend "Journey To The Soul" (a long story involving Shrek The Third and what Simon originally thought was "Jeremy The Soil".
Each are said in the loveliest of whining voices with a pinch of tears every now and then thrown in for good measure.
Just about two years ago (almost to the day I realized when I went looking for the link) I posted a quick letter to Mr. Morning Challenge – letting him know that it was time for him to move on. Maybe there is something about this week in October that is just perfect for grouchiness in the morning. Right now we are having the distinct pleasure of an afternoon challenge as well.
According to his teachers his behavior at school has been good. They don't seem to be hearing as many "No" responses.
At home though, it's been a challenge.
My Mom has been staying with us the last few days and came to Simon's 2nd Grade Open House. Always fun to see the classroom – check out his desk, chat with his main teacher, see what parts he is excited about right now.
For all the "No School" talk in both the mornings and the afternoons there are lots of things he seems to be enjoying: running at recess with some other kids, playing with a chess board (not really playing right now but having fun putting all the pieces on the board and playing wizard chess), getting really good at math, and being the door holder (next best thing to being "line leader").
And as we were driving home from the swimming pool last night and as I said the prayer with him as he went to bed one of my favorite everyday life quotes from Mary Jean Iron kept going through my head:
Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.
It is such an amazing life perspective that treasure of a normal day.
So today, I am expressing gratitude for these normal days.
![Two Peas](http://www.avantlink.com/gbi/10513/24901/21775/26723/image.jpg"width="120"height="240"style="border:0px;"alt=)
From a geriatric mom of 4….my kids were usually able to keep it together well at school, and needed to let it out a bit at home– crankiness, being a little contrary now and then. Maybe they knew it was safe to let down the guard in a place where the consequences were deeply rooted in love.
I love the Door Manager sign– congrats on that responsibility. I miss the good stuff from elementary school– just finished Homecoming here. High School brings its own wild fun and silliness too
Happy Fall!
i love the little prayer at the end, so true. each normal day is a treasure in itself. my kids go through the grouchy and no school thing too, it passes, thankfully! have a great normal day!
THis was a great post. Thanks.
Boy do I know what this is like.
My new favorite mini mantra,
“Don’t forget to breathe”
If it makes you feel any better…we are having the same…issues in Ohio. Three kids, three different buildings…and three different ways of trying to put off the inevitable. Loving my normal days, for they will be gone too soon.
What if I’m the one that’s crabby?
Thanks again for a spot-on post and inspiration to be in the moment.
I know Autism brings its challenges, but just so you know, my girls are VERY challenging in the morning and REALLY challenging after school, well one of them in particular, the other one is very easy going for the most part. It’s so hard when they have their own agenda and personalities! I hope your little talk worked!!! I can’t imagine how hard it must be some days! You are a great mom!
tara
great post…thanks for sharing.
Thanks for sharing this…My kindergartener has been doing great at school, but when she gets home, she releases everything she has kept inside for the past 3 hours and loses it. She has become a very emotional mess, with high highs and low lows. Tuesday she cried off and on for about 6 hours (all after school). I kept myself together (very zen) for most of the day, but lost it at the very end (when we had to be somewhere and I was getting no traction with kind and gentle). Man, I wish I didn’t yell and “get big” on her, but I did.
I’m sure when we hit those teenage years, I will want to jump back to these days in a second, but right now it is hard.
Oh Rachel – the getting “no traction with kind and gentle” is very familiar to me.
Love the quote. I’m going to have to keep that one.
Love that quote! Thanks for sharing
I think I’m going to print out the Normal Day thing… I just found out my daughter is going to start (our equivalent of) kindergarten next September rather than next January. As she’s my baby, and she’ll only be 4! the end of April, I admit I’ve shed more than a couple tears at the thought. The daily My Little Pony parties suddenly have much more significance to me. I still think 9-3pm 5 days/week is an awful lot to handle when you’re so little, but I guess we’d better get ready…
Love the quote, I also will have to keep that one. Thanks.
I remember the letter last year to ‘Mr Morning Challenge’—I also wrote one—apppently he moved on because I’m happy to say he’snot showed up this year.:)
Although my son still hates school and his favorite saying is “If I ws President, I would say NO SCHOOL”
..so beautiful that which you’ve written. I needed to be reminded.
This too will pass . . . We call it the October Blues at our house. I think that it is partly due to the newness of school wearing off, and the reality that the school/home daily schedule is the new “norm” and not the much more appealing summer/home more laid back schedule. Stay strong and stick with your schedule.
Amy
Great quote. TFS.
I get the “I’m Tired” said in the whinniest voice possible, followed by the lower lip pout. Seems to happen every week on a Thursday, especially in October & November.
Hoping the ‘chart’ works for you. It worked for me until he decided to hide it (under the refrigerator-I found it a couple days later).
((HUGS))
~Pino
Well Said. Love the quote and I need to remember that today and always. Especially during my “terrible two” moments.
We are right there with yoU!!!! The barometric pressure has changed in the air bringing allergies galore for me and many more morning and afterschool challenges for my sons. It has been a rough two weeks. I know this will soon pass. Your reminding us to stay in the normal moment of our everyday resonates. I watched Nie on Oprah yesterday and now this small refrain had me teary-eyed that I need to slow down and enjoy our normal more. Thanks
As the mom of a Special Needs student, I hear you on the challenges different parts of the day present. I’ve heard it said that kids “let it all out”, so to speak, at home because that’s where they feel safe. My theory is that our kids have more to let out because it’s so much harder for them to keep their focus all day long. The anticipation of that, and the let down at the end of the day can be SUCH a challenge.
I love this post. Sometimes looking at the scrap magazines you only see that perfect smile, that perfect day – but documenting the bad ones seem like such a good idea too. To acknowledge it, to record it, and hopefully move on. I’m having a heck of a time with my 6 year old right now and it’s so comforting to hear that I’m not the only one.
We are having “one of those weeks” too, thanks for the reminder to be thankful in all things for the wonderful gift we’ve been given in our children!
I agree about the comment of the newness of school starting has passed and the reality has truly set in that getting up early each day is here to stay for another year. And, I love the Normal Day quote (it’s my favorite) and has special meaning as my son has autism. Most people who don’t experience autism first hand cannot truly know how wonderful a normal day is for us. I’ve been meaning to make a plaque by my front door with that poem and it’s on the first page of my “Week in the Life” book from last year.
Your list of how the afternoon/evening goes is exactly how it is in my house. I had to establish it because things were getting so out of hand. I hated doing it cause I wanted the girls to “be kids” after school. But I found that having a schedule allowed them to be kids in their free time more than not having one did. Ugh! This parenting thing is not getting easier…it’s getting harder!!! With this schedule everything actually gets DONE and the girls have so much more time to play. We aren’t sitting at the table doing homework for two hours and fighting and crying, pulling teeth just to get thru something that should only take a half and hour. Thanks for sharing!
What a great quote and reminder as life goes by far too fast and even though there are the daily challenges I don’t want to miss a thing.
Ali,
Thanks so much for this post and the quote. It brought tears to my eyes as I thought about the gravity of being appreciative of the normal day. I have printed it to reflect on for days to come. Thanks so much.
Anne-Liesse
Thank you so much for sharing this prayer, it was amazing to me – so meaningful – thank you!!
So I’m not the only one. My daughter is 5 and is in Kindergarten this year. Right off the bat I realized I had to make a weekly responsiblity list for her. It only includes the usual stuff to get done in the morning before school (get dressed, socks/shoes, hair, breakfast, brush teeth). These things had to be done before she could play in the morning before school. She gets extremely side tracked. At the end of the day if everything was marked off her list she is allowed to watch TV and at the end of the week if everything is marked off she gets an allowance. Next week I told her that I was added a chore to her weekly list that will include taking the garbage out on Tues/Fri evening…she was actually excited about it. It’s working for us so far. Thanks for sharing your stories.
Ali,
I have found that they need activity, like racing, play tag, see how fast he can go from one side of the yard to the other, or to kick out aggression that has been building during the day, try having him kick a soccer ball, all this after snacks. I know that this technique works for me …running around the block or walking after being couped up all day. I hope this helps.
Thank you for sharing. Perfect reflection for the day.
OMG!!! We too are experiencing anti-school sentiments and afternoon challenges. And it.is.beyond.frustrating. I love love love the quote. It is going right into my kitchen…at this very moment. Maybe I’ll print one up for my purse too
Thanks for the reminder…
I love the honesty here…and the great perspective about treasuring normal days. Thank you for this.
Funny you mention the Oct challenge. My 13 year old starts getting cranky every year about this time. I think it must be about the time the newness of the new school year wears off and it’s time to get down to business. This too shall pass….it has for the last 9 years of school. Love the quote/poem.
I agree that there is something about this time of the year that is difficult – everybody seems cranky this week, myself included. Our morning refrain is often “my stomach hurts” or “my head hurts” and, of course, that’s a dilemma too – are they really sick or just trying to get out of school? Sigh….
that is so wonderful, and so very true, everyday life (even though not “perfect” is the real treasure! thanks Ali!
What a great post today, Ali! It’s so amazing that you bear your soul with all of us…it allows US to realize that we are all in this same boat…called LIFE! Some days it just isn’t easy…but through all of the struggles, there are wonderful, beautiful, perfect moments…making it all worthwhile! Hang in there…I am here to tell you that in the blink of an eye, they will grow up (practically overnight!) and you will be proud of the amazing “little people” you raised! Take care!
)
Did you watch Nie Nie on Oprah yesterday? That quote is perfect! She is a perfect example of what a blessing normal is and how we shouldn’t take it for granted. Thank you!
Wow–never thought about it that way, but you (and commenters) are on to something about the October blues. My 7 year old this morning was just plain old grumpy with attitude thrown in. When I asked her about it, she said, “I’m tiiirrredddd.”
Aren’t we all?
P.S. I get to go to work late this AM for flu shot, so looking forward to listening to week 1 of Yesterday & Today!
I love the quote and your perspective. My mom’s favorite retorts to my crankiness were “this is payback. it is exactly what I did to my mother and you will get yours one day too.” or “I understand that you are taking this out on me because I love you unconditionally and it is the only safe place to work it out.”
great post. thanks for sharing.
Well, I wish I could tell you this will be temporary, but that would not be fair. As a long-time mom (26, 18, 14 & 12), I am SO familiar with this! My big kids are off at college, but the little ones’ favorite word is W-A-I-T!, said in plaintive tones while they keep scrolling away on the computer or tapping on that iphone. And then there is that old favorite, Mo-o-o-o-om! Sigh. But you are completely right about the beauty of a normal day–because my kids are so spread out in ages (and it took major infertility intervention to get them here at all), I really try to appreciate every day. Some days it is harder than others…!
for as long as i have been reading your blog, and as many of your posts have resonated deeply within me, this one might just top them all!
my girl began Kindy this fall & after a fairy-tale beginning, the honeymoon is OVER! i hear the same whiny excuses before & after school, get the same tears & pouting face about the littlest things. reading through the replies was a great reminder that we really are all together in this wonderful, tumultuous adventure of momma-hood…
Wow, I am glad to hear of other moms going through challanging things. I have 3 kids and my husband & I look at each other and say “this just is not what other families are going through” Our days and evenings are very challanging. Twin 7 year old boys that are constantly being annoyed or tortured by they’re almost 9 year old sis. She is a serious handfull all the time. Finally after 7 years of searching and testing we got an ADHD diagnosis,makes knowing her better. But wow. Life can be so hard for all of us because of one child in the family. I yearn for a “normal “day.
You have worked so hard with Simon to get him to where he is now. Life is a process.
Thanks for your always inspiring blog. I visit almost every day.
Can’t compliment you enough for your openness and honesty. But I must add that I loved your humor that was added to this post. It’s nice to see that side of you.
Sigh. I don’t want to go to school either. I’d rather stay at home in my pj’s and read blogs and scrap my photos and, well, you get the picture. But I’m the speech-language pathologist, so I should probably go to school. And, like Simon, once I’m there, I have a pretty good day!
Ali,
I do remember your original post. I think it’s just started being darker in the morning, that makes me want to stay in bed. My son is usually more quiet about his protests – I wake him and he roles over and covers his head. Of course I’m doing forty other things, so in between each one I have to wake him again. We have gotten as high as six wake-ups before he actually gets up and dressed. Sometimes these episodes start to get tense, as time is short. I have taken to really talking alot about the successes and trying to not get so tense, and it seems to be helping – today he got up singing. I also put him in bed earlier and wake him earlier, which allows for the “five more minutes” without the stress. Good luck!
Glad to see your post today. Reminds me that I am not alone in this crazy ride we call Motherhood! My daughters new thing is “I forgot” Hope it passes quickly!
I loved Mary Jean Iron’s “normal day” so much when you shared that with us last year. I made a collage and framed it in my art room and by request made them for Christmas gifts last year. There is nothing more wonderful than a normal day.
Love that quote!!! It made me think of my aunt that lost a child (my cousin) a few years ago, and that all she longed for was just a ‘normal day’ with her son again. Normal days make us who we are.
Amber Osburn