December Daily® Storytelling | Special Guest Kelly Ishmael
Hi friends. My name is Kelly Ishmael, and I am delighted and honored to be here with you today to share my insights and experience with December Daily® storytelling as an empty-nester.
As I was going back through previous projects in preparation for this blog post, it dawned on me that I didn’t start documenting December stories until after my daughter went to college. I have been a memory-keeper for over 25 years with dozens of scrapbooks that have multitudes of layouts devoted to the holidays, but my only December Daily® projects have been as an empty-nester.
My first foray into December documenting was in 2012 with a DIY mini-album, and I can still recall the absolute joy I felt while making it.
At the time, it was my way of affirming that there were still plenty of things to document and plenty of joy to be found during the holidays even while my daughter was away at college. Something I had struggled with in prior years.
Spoiler Alert…There was then and there still is now.
Fast forward 11 years and December Daily® has become one of my favorite memory-keeping projects. And today I wanted to share a couple of the big “a-ha” moments that have helped me with my approach to this project and inspired me to see the month of December in a new light.
Insight #1 | It’s Not The End
There is a meme you might have seen along the lines of “You only have 18 Summers (or in this case Christmases) with your kids living at home.” I think the idea behind this sentiment is to encourage us to be present with our children and to cherish the moments we have with them. The problem that I have with this way of thinking is that it can put undue pressure on parents or cause even more anxiety about being an empty-nester.
The other issue I have with this notion is that it assumes that these 18 years are the only time that we’ll have to make special memories with our children. Which is just total nonsense and also completely untrue. The simple fact of the matter is that some of my favorite December memories have been with my daughter in the years after she left home.
Now admittedly, it’s a different experience having an adult child, but in some ways, it is even more special because of the way it documents how our relationship has grown and evolved over the years.
In addition to the memories we share together, one of the other special things about this season of life is being a witness to the story my daughter is writing for herself. I love including photos and stories that Kelsey shares with me about the holiday memories she is making or including stories about some of the big moments in her life during the month of December.
Insight #2 | My December Story
One of the biggest shifts in my December Daily® documenting came from something Ali said in one of her classes, and that is “I am the main character in my story.” What that meant for me was changing my internal narrative from that of “I am preserving my family’s holiday memories” to “I am telling my December story.”
As supporting characters, my family is a very big part of my story, so obviously they are a big part of my December Daily® albums. But in addition to more family-oriented stories, I love including stories that document little moments of delight and joy as I go about my December days.
These days I tend to approach December Daily® as documenting and celebrating everyday life with the holidays as the background or setting to my stories. This mindset has taken the pressure off of looking for or creating holiday stories, and instead allows me to simply be present to the beauty, magic, and wonder of the season in whatever shape that takes.
If you are an empty-nester (or if your empty-nest is looming off in the distance), my hope is that this post encourages you and inspires you to see the holiday season and this season of your life in a new way. I promise you that there is so much good stuff in store, and there are so many awesome new stories waiting to be told.
Thank you so much for allowing me to share my stories with you. You can see more of my December Daily® photos and stories on Instagram and my website.
Finally, a huge thank you to Ali for creating this special project. Her advocacy for personal storytelling has been a huge inspiration to me these past several years.
Love, Kelly
P.S. If you are an empty-nester (or soon to be empty-nester) who is struggling with this big life transition, a few years ago, I created a class on Ali's site called Empty Nest + New Stories. The goal of this workshop is to help you to acknowledge your feelings + emotions, to encourage you to be brave and ask yourself the hard questions, and to inspire you to embrace and enjoy this new chapter of your life.
Beautiful pages; thanks for sharing!
Thank you Janet!
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Your albums and your photography are so beautiful! I always love looking at them.🙂
Thank you for the kind words Laura!
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"The problem that I have with this way of thinking is that it can put undue pressure on parents or cause even more anxiety about being an empty-nester. The other issue I have with this notion is that it assumes that these 18 years are the only time that we’ll have to make special memories with our children. Which is just total nonsense and also completely untrue. The simple fact of the matter is that some of my favorite December memories have been with my daughter in the years after she left home."
Ah thanks so much for writing this - I really needed to hear this because though I am in the season of small kids, I don't want to be in the season of making each Christmas 'better' than the last, or trying to "one-up" - Rather I want us to have time together with less commercialization and consumerism; there is already so much pressure on making the holidays something amazing, that adding this pressure every time I see this meme, just makes me a bit more anxious and worried.
So glad to hear that adult child memories are fun too :D
it makes my heart so happy to know that these words resonated with you! i remember the days of having a young child and the pressure to "make things special" for them for the holidays. the paradox for me was that the harder i tried, the more stressed out and anxious it made me. trust me when i tell you that no one can suck the joy out of the holidays more than me trying to make things special. lol
also, the holidays with adult kids is THE BEST. :)
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So much good content and reminders Kelly! Thanks for sharing your wisdom and your pages/stories. Traci
Thank you Traci!
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This is such GREAT advice (and reminders) Kelly. Thanks for sharing with a fellow empty nester.
Thank you friend! I love knowing we have that in common. xoxo
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Your pages and photos are stunning as always Kelly. And I really love your perspective in the words you shared - so much wisdom there! Thank you.
Thank you for the kind words! So happy to know it resonated with you!
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This is our first official empty nest Christmas and I'm still trying to find my way. Kids will be home that week, but such an adjustment. Kelly, love this post and all of your thoughts, just great.
Ali-I'm really enjoying this DD series with different perspectives. Talking about the tough times as well as all the fun times has been a good change.
I'm so happy to know this post resonated with Carrie. Sending you so much love and cheering you on as you make your way through this transition.
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I enjoyed reading your thoughts on emptynesting! I’ve been in this mode for a while now. I would not even consider my December Daily complete without my children and their families tucked inside! And all of their littles! My kids have morphed into my best friends and the joy I experience seeing them carry on our traditions and making new ones individually wraps my heart in joy!
It’s so good to be in the comfort zone we are in Kelly! Thanks for your insight and encouragement to those approaching this time of life. 💞
Thank you for the kind words Shirley! I could not agree more about this awesome place we're in with our grown kids! (And I am definitely looking forward to when we have some littles running around). ;)
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This post is perfect! My first December Daily was in 2013 and my youngest was 21. Like you, I have always documented my album as an empty nester. There is so much wisdom in your words. Thanks for sharing.
So happy to know that my post resonated with you! Yes to documenting holidays with grown kids and celebrating this season of life!
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Beautiful pages and touching stories
Thank you!
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My children have been grown and gone for some time. Yes, there was a transition period, but I absolutely love this season of my life.
Yes, it really is a special season of life.
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Love you, Kelly! Your Empty Nest Class was what changed my thinking about memory keeping once Ryan went off to college, and this post was just the reminder I needed as my life continues to change and evolve as an empty nester. Thank you for sharing and inspiring and for being the amazing human that you are!
Oh my goodness Denine. Thank you so much for your kind words. It truly makes my heart so happy to know how my class inspired you. Wishing you lots of joy and happiness in this season of your life. xoxo
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As they always do, your wise words (not to mention your beautiful photos!) touch my heart! I know people who are in this season of life will be encouraged by them. I am blessed to have my three boys and their families in town as well as my four grandchildren. Knowing them as adults and friends is so much better than I ever expected! I loved your Empty Nest class and have recommended it to those I know in this season of life. I totally agree that the holidays with adult kids is the BEST! Hugs to you my dear Kelly!
Oh my friend. Thank YOU for being a shining light and memory-keeping champion for me in those early years of my empty-nest. I am so grateful that our paths crossed out here in the interwebs. Hugs to you right back!
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Your words are so beautiful Kelly. My empty nest is still a while off in the distance, but I found inspiration for this project and memory-keeping in general from this heartfelt post. Thank you for sharing a bit of your story here, with us.
Thank you so much for the kind words Jessica. It makes me so happy to know that you found some inspiration from my post. Wishing you a wonderful holiday with your family!
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Thank you Kelly for these words to remind me to tell the everyday stories that are so important also. I am an empty nester and have been for awhile. So many fun stories with grandchildren going on right now!
Thank you so much! So glad to share some inspiration with you. And I am very much looking forward to the day when I have stories about grandkids to tell. :)
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Hi Kelly, thank you for sharing! I bet your daughter is delighted that you continue to include her young adult years in your memory projects. Parents are always parents and kids are always kids, no matter our ages! Many of my mom’s friends shared with me after she died that she always updated them about what my sister and I were up to in life. I knew she did that yet it was so awesome to hear it from her friends. Enjoy the season!
Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I love hearing from your perspective - it gives me all the warm fuzzies knowing that these kinds of stories live on. Wishing you a wonderful holiday season as well! xoxo
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Your albums are so beautiful, Kelly! And yes to the absolute joy of having adult children and celebrating the holidays with them! We still have so many stories to tell about our selves and our lives. Love this! And if anyone is on the fence about taking your Empty nest class, it truly changed my way of thinking about the empty nest and helped me process and adjust. I highly recommend the class!
Thank you so much Jeanne! I love seeing how you have navigated your empty-nest and how your capture your beautiful daughters in your photos and projects. Also, it truly touches my heart to know that my class helped you in your transition. Hope you have a wonderful holiday!
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Love this so much! Thank you for sharing.
Lynne
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Thank you for busting the myth that we only have our children for 18 summers or 18 christmases. My kids are in their 30's and we love to celebrate and travel with them. They are a big part of our lives while being independent young adults.
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Love this so much Kelly! Your pages are gorgeous and your words really resonate with me. This is my first empty nester Christmas (my girl comes home from college on December 14!) and I'm both excited and nervous to see how it looks. I love seeing your perspective from years later (and I'm sure it's even a different perspective when they transition from college to full adulthood!).
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I could have written this post. I started DD in 2007 and my kids were already college and beyond. I still adore this project, it brings me joy and it is MY story ( ok, a little of my hubby). Thanks for writing this. I thought I must be the oldest one here. Enjoy your holidays.
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Love your pages! They're simply gorgeous. Thank you for sharing your ideas about documenting the holidays as an empty nester. This is especially relevant for me this year. I especially love the reminder that all of our Christmas memories with family are special and worth documenting.
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Thank you so much Kelly for sharing your wisdom, experience, advice and beautiful pages! I am stoked by the invitation to document my own December story!
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