Navigating To My Place
Image captured at the Ace Hotel's photobooth : Portland, Oregon
After vacationing and then being sick this past weekend I am finally beginning to navigate myself back into my regular routines.
I'm quite the habitual creature. I like routine. I like structure. Even on vacation I like a loose structure. I like, when possible, to know what's coming next so I can adjust my expectations accordingly. I'm not fanatically structured, but I do like days that flow; days where I'm prepared and organized and on time. I also like making and crossing off lists.
One of the new routines I've added recently is taking Simon to swimming lessons twice a week. I've been thinking about my Mom so much as I pack his snack, gather his suit and towel, pick him up from school, drive him to the pool and watch him interact with his instructor. I think about her and wonder what she was thinking about as she did this for three kids, each just about 15 months apart in age. This whole process of snack-making is such an everyday activity. Did she embrace it? Did she mutter frustrations under her breath? Did she long for something else? Did she enjoy it? All those practices, all those meets and matches and games...all those moments packing snacks.
Lucky for me my Mom reads my blog and I'll likely get a call with an answer soon.
My Mom was a serious carpool/sport Mom and she was always big on being early/on time. I remember her telling me at some point how it makes life so much less chaotic and peaceful. She was so right and I have always been a big fan of punctuality and often enjoy the benefits of being early.
She was really fantastic at packing those snacks to fuel us through our practices and events. As I was making Simon's snack for swimming this morning I know I did it in a more consciously loving way as I thought about her and the gifts she possesses as a Mom. I've been thinking about the hours upon hours she spent driving us three kids between practices and schools and home and how she never missed a thing (except that one birthday - you know the one Mom).
Perhaps it's my own rose-colored memory, but I can't recall ever hearing her complain. I also don't have a memory of her being in a hurry to get on to something else.
It's been often throughout my own motherhood journey that I think about my Mom and the role she has played and continues to play in my life. I compare and contrast and often call to ask her for advice or suggestions with my own kids. I have a deep, deep love and fondness for her and the ways she interacted with, taught, guided, supported, instilled confidence, encouraged and loved us as we were growing up.
That Simon has gotten to know her as well as he has is one of the greatest gifts of my life.
I think I recognized I was lucky as a kid to have her for a Mom and now, of course, I know.
I started this post yesterday thinking I was going to share an entirely different story about my life right now.
As I was writing about how I'm navigating through the middle of a bunch of different projects, that image of me standing at the kitchen counter making Simon's snack and thinking about my Mom making snacks for us to eat between school and sports kept entering my mind.
I've given thanks many times in the past for my parents, I'm sure this won't be the last.
Sometimes stories come to me in this sort of way. They interrupt the path I was on, often unexpectedly as I write about something else entirely.
Today I encourage you be open to those stories that come to mind when you are thinking of other things or working on other projects. I invite you to get pen to paper or fingers to the keyboard see where it takes you.
I am lucky to have one of those moms too, and I know that she plays a massive role in the kind of mom I am to my two. Thanks for sharing - I think I need a similar post.
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wonderful post!!!!!!!! u know, great moms always get promoted to Grandma!
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ali, this is such a great post. thank you. I always say that my two siblings who've elected not to have children will never quite get our parents' point of view. It really does make you appreciate all those little things they did over the years. I love your reflections on it.
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oh, i wanted to add something. I recently came across a draft of a college essay written by my 19yr old. He talked about how his mom used to read to him every night when he was growing up. His insights astounded me. They do get it!!! Carry on mothers everywhere!!!! we are appreciated, even by teenagers!!
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Ali, you are so lucky to have such a wonderful mother. I love to see your pictures of her as I can totally see you in your mom's lovely face. And Simon & Anna are so lucky to have such a wonderful mother and grandmother. Thank you for sharing.
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Oh Nora you must be proud of the path your children have taken. The job of protecting a nation from far off threats is one of grave importance. Thank you for sharing and bring on November so you can all be together again.
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Oh Ali you have done it again.... spoken to me through your blog. I always think of my Mum and am grateful for all that she has done for me and continues to do. We didn't have the sports practise driving issues as I used to ride my bike but I can remember lots of other things she did for me growing up. I realise more and more what her life was like now that I am a Mum myself. She had 4 kids under 5 and then another 2 kids under 2, she lost her youngest daughter (my little sister) at 16 months from a drowning and she is still so so strong. She is now a Grandmother to 10 and she is the glue that holds our family together. I get very sad when I think of being so far away from her (18 hours by road)and that I really want my 16month old daughter to get to know her well. I ring her everyday and we chat for what seems like forever and I struggle to hang up the phone and say goodbye.
You simply amaze me because you always seem to know what to write when I need it! Thanks and bless you and your Mum. You are both kind and gentle souls. xxx
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Love your post. I have apperciated my Mom more and more as I parent my own kids. I love having my own Daughter and watching her grow and hoping I am just as close to her when she is grown as my Mom and I are!!!!
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What a beautifully written post!
Having just become a Mummy myself I am constantly thinking how wonderful my mother was to us as we grew up. She used to make snacks and picnics for us when we went to after-school music lessons. It's amazing how much you don't realise your mother is doing for you as you grow, but then, looking back as an adult, it seems that she was just so selfless and amazing. I just hope I can be such a great mother to my little one.
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Hi Ali,
Thanks for this post. It made me cry thinking about how much I appreciate my Mum - her love and very practical and very real support.
My Mum is turning 70 later this year and doesn't want a party. My siblings and I are planning to ask wider family and friends to share what they see as special about Mum (photos, stories, memories etc) and then we will compile it an album or book. Just so she knows how much she is appreciated and loved.
I try to say thank you all the time, but it doesn't seem enough...
Thanks Debbie
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really love this ali. thank you for sharing where your mind traveled as you wrote and looked at your world. i love how the past can whisper to us in this way...
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Ali, thanks for this post. Made me think about so many things. The thing it most made me think about is how I'm being, at the moment, with my son, having just had a baby girl. I feel I'm not as patient with him as I was before and that's been hurting me *a lot*. Your post has given me the outside boost I need to take a breath and to smile/nod encouragement/give him some kind words (etc) rather than approaching him with a stressed face. I want him to remember me, his Mum, as you describe remembering yours. I should stop sweating the little things and remember the bigger picture and your post has really brought that home to me. Thanks Ali. Thanks so much.
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Thanks for sharing such a sweet post! I am now a dance mom to my girls, just as my mom was to us. I recently posted a thank you to her on Facebook as I sat waiting for dance lessons to finish. Embrace these times!
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wow - this is amazing.
your rose-colored memory is the same one I have.
Mom is a beautiful person - and we're so lucky to have her!
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What a great post today. I too often think of my mom. Especially during those trying moments. I think, my mom must have felt like this, if she could deal with it, i can deal with it. My mom was and still is the Queen of school lunches. My brothers and I and my dad always had lovingly prepared and healthy lunches. When other kids had white bread and bologna, I had 12 grain, organic butter with freshly roasted turkey. Homemade baking, and always real fruit juice. I remember in high school pulling out my lunch, while other kids made fun of the 1" layer of sprouts on my sandwich I always felt proud of my lunch and happy that she made it for me. I try to take the same pride in the lunches I make for my kids now. MOM's Rule!
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Sweet story. :)
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That was amazing to read. Thank you.
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Ali, I'd love to hear your mom's response if you don't mind sharing. This post spoke volumes to me--I lost my mom last year. She was my best friend, my role model, my confidant. I often find myself wondering how she handled working, 2 kids going in different directions due to our age difference, juggling being a wife, a woman, a mother, a daughter, a sister. Oh how I wish I could ask her. Since I can't, I intend to do something with my questions be it journaling or scrapbooking and thank you for sharing your feelings as they confirm I'm not alone with these thoughts.
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Thanks Ali! This is a wonderful post. Sadly, my mom died before my kids were born. I miss sharing all this with her. I do love making lunches for the kids. I know already that I will really miss these days...
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I really enjoyed this post. Makes me realize how I need to slow down and enjoy those little things more. I find myself more frustrated & forgetful these days. I need to do more planning, organizing and enjoying!! My mom was not like your mom and I can feel a difference in me & what I see in you, my up-bringing probably has a lot to do with that. I do not want my boys to remember me being so stressed & rushing all the time, I want them to have the memories you have. I will start NOW, not tomorrow, and work on making my days better so thier memories will be the best they can be. Thank you for your heart-felt & honest peeks into your heart & your life. It's so silly, but I think of you as a friend!! Another friend of mine follows your blog as well and you enter our conversations daily.
Thanks Friend!! You are loved!!
~Michelle
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Beautiful, Ali. Thanks.
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This was so beautiful written. Thank you for reminding me of my mom and of being a mom. I'm also one of those that like routine and structure in my life. When the kids are home for summer break, it takes me a few weeks to get adjusted to them here. I also am early/ontime to everything it makes the day run so much smoother, hoping my kids will continue it into their adulthood. I love the thoughts on snacks, as we are into soccer/track season for us. For this family it's remembering to fill up the waterjugs for their activities and packing chairs, warm clothes, umbrella's. I love doing this for my kids, never complaining, enjoying the process of getting ready. I've never missed their games, concerts, plays, etc. I love being at all of them and it fills my heart with joy watching them do their thing. It never gets old, boring, or just another thing to do. I will miss these things when they leave. I'm wondering about my mom now to and what she thought of all this, she worked hard to support us and didn't get to come to games, etc because of her late shifts. All the more reason I'm so happy to be a sahm now to my kids. Thanks Ali for this great post. Love the picture of your mom and anna together they are beautiful.
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Wonderful tribute to your mom and all that she has done and continues to do for you and your family.
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This is a wonderful post and I hope your mother reads it. It's exactly what I hope my children will think about me one day. And you can be sure Simon and Anna will think the same about you as they can even read and see the wonderful documentation of your happy family life you do.
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L*O*V*E this post ali...my mom is my rock, i am so lucky to have her as a mom and for her to be so close to my children. she is a special lady. i will tell her that again today because of you. also today i am attending a close friend of mine mom's funeral today. the loss is great for the family. it has made me think a lot too...i guess that is why we have to be grateful now & to enjoy the moments...
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