"And I'll just go for it."
I had one of those experiences with Simon last night on our way to the swimming pool reminding me once again that he is just downright awesome.
Drive-through McDonald's is one of our things. We go through a pretty stable routine each time: ordering a Happy Meal for the toy (especially Kung Fu Panda toys - he and Chris saw the movie last weekend) and chicken nuggets; talking about the number one window + the number two window; choosing between OJ, chocolate milk, or the occasional Sierra Mist.
Let me step back a minute and preface this by saying we have been having some major food battles lately. I hate the word battle because that implies a winner and a loser...our goal is to get him to try something new at each meal and take one very small bite as a "no thank you" bite (along with getting some variety into his diet). Trust me, it has been one of the biggest challenges in our experience as parents.
Back to last night and the story at hand. I put in the regular order for a Happy Meal with chicken nuggets. After pulling out and heading down the road I hand the box back to him and he pulls out a cheeseburger. On past adventures this could have resulted in a major upset (or me simply turning around and going back to McDonald's to correct our order). I see the burger in the rearview mirror as I am checking the clock to see how much time we have to make it to the pool before the "sorry we are full" sign goes up. In the span of seconds I am wondering to myself which is going to be worse: not getting the expected chicken nuggets or not getting to swim?
But he didn't freak out.
"Hey, here's a hamburger," he said and started to pass it to me. No whining. No crying. No freaking out.
Somehow I managed to say, "How about trying that cheeseburger tonight?" I braced a bit as I waited for the issue to escalate.
He simply said, "Okay."
It was an "okay" in a super cheerful manner that demonstrated no indication of ever having issues with different foods. At that point I should have just pulled over and did the craziest celebration dance possible that he was even okay with the idea of opening the package let alone take a bite.
I tried super hard not to make a big deal about. "That sounds like a plan," I said as I peeked into the rear-view mirror to see if he was really going to actually for real take a bite. And he did. No big deal. No fanfare. No saying "this is gross." No protesting. Just a little nibble bite along the edge and then he set it back down on the plastic wrapper in his lap.
"Did you like it?" I asked?
"I did."
In my head I was freaking out. Holy cow this could be it. This could be the breakthrough we have been hoping for and working towards related to not making a huge deal out of trying a new food.
"Are you going to eat some more?"
"Yes. I like hamburgers."
We drove along and he munched on his french fries amidst telling me stories about the Higglytown Heroes episode he had been watching on the computer before leaving for the pool.
"Are you going to eat any more hamburger?" I asked as we continued on our way.
"Yes, I'll just go for it."
In reality he didn't even hit the meat, cheese, ketchup or anything except the bun.
But man, what a great start.
Go for it, Simon, go for it.
YEAH Simon!
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Oh that razor edge of trying to stay calm and cool, no big deal, but knowing that this IS a big WOOHOO deal.
You touch all our hearts so much when you share these Simon moments. Thank you.
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way to go simon! {ali and chris too}...
hugs to you all...from the philippines :)
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I wish I had time to read all the comments but just want to tell you how much I enjoy the Simon stories! I come here every day (usually from work with eyes glazed over from writing code) craving the art, the design, the how-to's and the inspiration but when I see a Simon story, I know I'm in for a special treat!
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Ali, I was just watching the Ellen show, not sure you watch, but there is a little girl in Kentucky who sells braclets to raise money for Autism. You can buy the bracelets on Ellen's website. Just thought you would like to check it out!
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Amazing--go for it is right! Woohoo!
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Eyes welled up with tears of joy and my heart is pounding for you girlfriend.
It is great to be a MOM!
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What an awesome story. Thank you for sharing. What a great reminder that we just need to go for it! I can think of some many times and on so many levels how I could use this post as inspiration. Way to go Simon!
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that's so awesome.
for all of you!
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I am so very happy for you. I think that all parents can appreciate that these little battles really have huge impact on our lives. Another step showing that your little boy is geting bigger. Well done you.
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what a beautiful-make-my-heart-happy story!!
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freaking awesome! way to go simon!
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yea Simon!
Bet you never thought you'd be celebrating the goodness of a McDonalds hamburger.
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Yay for Simon! And yay for you as a parent to get a reward for all your patience and hard work.
He's not the only one with eating issues. Here's a "story" that I think you'll enjoy. It will give you a good laugh:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/area_grandmother_tries_indian_food
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What an awesome mountain you two just overcame! As a parent and an educator I am so happy that Simon had such a positive experience! Here's to many more happy meals! :)
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Ali, last year we did meal time management with Alec through the autism association here, we learnt so much and I hope over time we can get him onto more foods.
I know I would have had exactly the same reaction as you did, well done to Simon I know what a big deal what he did was, not that he actually ate it but that it came without a meltdown. We walk such a fine line don't we, what can be a happy dance moment one day can be tearful the next, but you all made a step forward today and I hope you have many more.
And never disregard your feelings.. it is ok to call it a battle, it is a battle with ourselves wanting the best for them and a battle to overcome issues we have no control over. We do a fantastic job!
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That is awesome. Sometimes they just amaze us. I have a 5 year old and he hates to try new things - of course he love cheeseburgers not for the meat but for the cheese LOL. I make him eat it anyways as I know he needs the protein and he really doesn't complain just tells me he doens't like the meat. We are trying to introduce new things and 98% of the time he makes a face and claims that it is gross. I can only imagine the upset if a similar thing had happened to us. I hope this is a turning point for you and he starts getting more adventurous when it comes to trying and eating new things.
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Hi Ali, I met you at Artfest (in Stephanie Rubiano's class - I had the cigar boxes I found at the goodwill with the hinged plastic cover) and didn't realize, until much later that I'd "seen" you before. I've been lurking on your site since making the connection reading about your experiences with Simon. Usually I just read but today I had to comment. This experience with Simon reminded me of one I just had with Jack. For me it was at a diner. I'd ordered Jack a kid's eggs with hashbrowns but asked for double eggs, no hashbrowns (this way he still gets the kid's meal cup...). but it came back eggs with hashbrowns. immediately I start to panic. this isn't what we ordered, it's not what he is expecting. I'm bracing for his reaction, running scenarios in my mind and trying to figure out what to do? I have all my boys with me, Sam and Max are already eating. please, I pray - I just can't have Jack freak out in the middle of the food court. I don't say anything. I can see he's sizing things up, he seems to be taking it in okay - the eggs look good and he loves eggs. but still, there are hashbrowns on the plate and the hashbrowns are TOUCHING the eggs. you see, Jack is very particular about foods touching and will not eat something he loves if it has been touched by something else. but. amazingly. without comment or fanfare, he starts to eat the eggs. Its like I'm frozen. I don't move a muscle, I don't want to jinx this. he is eating eggs that have been TOUCHED by hashbrowns. and that alone, the eating of the eggs touched by the hashbrowns was so very incredibly huge I couldn't ask for any more. but then! he took a bite of the hashbrowns. I'm holding my breath, my mouth is open, my eyes are spinning back and forth - isn't anyone witnessing this MIRACLE?? "the child has a bite of hashbrowns in his mouth" I want to shout!!! he is chewing them. he swallows them. he doesn't gag and he doesn't spit them out. he ate eggs and hashbrowns just like anyone else. when I point this out "Jack you just ate hashbrowns." he says "I know. I like hashbrowns." he says this while he takes ANOTHER BITE. and I say "since when do you like hashbrowns?" and he says "since today." just like that. he likes hashbrowns.
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Hi Ali,
I hope you read this, first of all I want to say how much I admire you and your husband and wish Chris had made it further in the U.S. Primary? I am Canadian ( can you tell). I am sure Chris would have been a strong voice for children and parents struggling with Autism. I have two diagnosed children with Autism Spectrum Disorder and severely A.D.H.D. My 16 yr.old daughter is not as severely affected as my son but still has many issues. She will not eat fruit or fish, but if it`s meat or potatoes and corn she is in heaven. Our 13 yr.old son would not eat anything except french fries and cheerios!At 6 yrs.old he was still eating baby food because every time I tried the chunky junior baby food he would gag and throw it all up. After many trips to the feeding clinic and trying to disguise the food and even having them blindfold him so he couldn`t see what he was eating! and having to listen to plenty of friends and family for advice, I was ready to give up as they too had no idea of the challenges. Then one day I wanted Michael to try some smoked ham I had just boiled on the stove with some mashed potatoes and carrots. He wouldn`t budge, I reached into my purse and pulled out a toonie ($2.00)and offered it to him if he would just have a bite of the ham. My mother was appalled, "you shouldn`t have to bribe a child to eat" she said. After many books I`ve read on the subject I was unable to figure what he disliked about certain foods but it is definitely a sensory integration problem and all his senses are acutely aware of the site,texture,colour, smell and taste that puts him off even trying foods. But I do know that the enticement of money worked! He love the ham and even asked for more, he will even ask me to cook it up specially for him. ( isn`t that great!)A small price to pay in my book. My Mom was amazed and she also wandered if I would always have to pay him to eat.I really didn`t care as long as I got him to expand his diet. As it turned out only the things that are new to him and that I feel he should try have I had to pay him but it is so rare now, I think it has opened his mind and tastebuds.Michael has now expanded his diet to quite a few other items as well, and I don`t even have to pay him. Ali, all I can suggest is to be patient and Simon will come around but not to force as that will turn even the picky eater off their food and trying new things.BTW, my son loves MacDonalds double cheeseburgers plain, Johnsonville Brats round sausages, and pancakes that a friend talked him into trying.He now eats a variety of meat and vegetables and loves any fruit that is orange in colour ( his favourite) . All this in short year and a half. I am so pleased when I remember that he was the most difficult child to get to try something new with his meltdowns and temper tantrums in front of anyone not just at home.We could never dream of taking him anywhere, now we feel we can take Michael out anywhere we want to go.Congradulations to you and Simon trying the burger, I hope theres many more milestones to come. As Simon gets older things will get better. I hope what I have said helps and what worked for Michael may work for another child, but patience is key as these children are not trying to make our lives more difficult, they are the ones that are having the difficulties, struggling with it day in and day out and some can`t communicate that too us.
Pamela in Canada
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Please don't ever quit sharing Simon with us. My own son reminds me so much of him and I have spent a wonderful few moments reflecting on our happy dance moments. I understand too the going back part ...why on a different day it might be essential to go back for the nuggets. But what a wonderful day to just have a hamburger. My thrill today is about pooping in the big potty and not the safe, small training potty and wanting to do it. OK, the occasional bribe with an Indiana Jones toy tends to motivate. But hey, if we can do anything for at least 4 or 5 days we get a routine going. So when those hamburger days come along we can go with the flow because more chicken nuggets are just around the bend.
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Hey Ali -- kudos to you guys for even bothering ot work on it. My 6 yr old nephew refuses to eat anything except chicken nuggets, fries, pb&j, and sometimes mac & cheese but only from those frozen kids meals. My bro & SIL don't even try to work on it with him.
Your post reminded me of this post:
http://veganlunchbox.blogspot.com/2005/11/and-then-miracle-occured.html
Have you read this blog? I bought the lunchbox she uses and though I am not vegan I did try some of her ideas. For me, having a cute lunch really helped me in brown bagging it to work, and eating more fruits and veggies in my work lunch. In fact my lunch was so cute I sometimes ate it before lunchtime!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v80/mountaineer/cooking%20food/lunchcute.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v80/mountaineer/cooking%20food/lunchturkeycachstoup.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v80/mountaineer/cooking%20food/lunchschnitzel.jpg
hooray for cute lunch!
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Ali,
I've been following your life with Simon and Chris for years through CK, your books, and your blog. I have two little boys of my own, and I just love how you capture real life. Big Kudoos to Simon! This must have felt like winning the lottery!
Tonya
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This post made me cry - you guys are phenomenal parents. I have just started reading your blog agin in the last day or so after an 18 month break from scrapbooking. Firstly I want to say a huge congrats on your pregnancy and soon-to-be-arriving baby girl, she is blessed indeed to have you two for parents. Secondly I want to say thank you for reigniting my desire to record our family history and for showing me how to do it in a way that won't make me go nuts! Your digi designs at DD are perfect for how I want to record the bulk of our memories. Thanks for the inspiration!
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