Truth Be Told
The other day Simon came home from school, walked into the house, and told me "My star was in yellow today."
His school uses a star program. Essentially green means no problems, yellow means something came up/not following the rules, and red is when you get in big trouble. Simon is no stranger to yellow stars, not the majority by any means, but they definitely popped up from time to time throughout kindergarten.
"Uh oh. What happened buddy?" I asked.
"I was sneaky." he said and proceeded to tell me about how he was caught sneaking out to recess before the kids were dismissed as a group from lunch.
I've never heard him use the word "sneaky" before and it was hard not to giggle a bit as the word crossed his lips.
It wasn't that long ago that asking him what had happened each day at school resulted in zero response. In his case it was more of a lack of back + forth communication ability then avoiding the question.
These days when he comes home one of the first things we do together (after the shoes come off and the coat gets hung up) is to open his communication notebook and see what the aides have written about his day. They include activities he participated in, things he struggled with, and what he is working on in the classroom (behaviorally and academically). This is a vital part of helping us understand what's happening at school and has become a way for Simon and I to share together how things went over the course of the day.
On this particular day one of the things I was most thankful for was him simply telling me what had happened even before I read it in the notebook. He was truthful and forthright and he wanted to share even when he had gotten into trouble.
I am sure there will be challenging days ahead (obviously, as there always are), but on this day there was a good solid line of communication happening. I love progress. I celebrate those little (and big) moments.
After he revealed that his star was in yellow we chatted a bit about being sneaky and following the rules. He agreed that he wanted to follow the rules and keep his star in green.
So far, so good.
I love when one of my boys says a word that I've never heard them use before. It makes me feel they really do listen to what we say -- and also, I need to watch what I say! :)
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well, we all have yellow star days now and then. i'm so impressed that he told you up front.
our school does cards (instead of stars) and my son will tell me about everyone else'e cards, but not his. hmmm.
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Great story. The great part of the entire story is that he shared the experience with you that is one of the special things about kids on the spectrum, the honesty they have good or bad. Your story so made me smile. thanks for sharing.
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Here's to the little victories...
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Why is it that my heart almost exploded while you were telling that story? Maybe because his expression in the photo fit it so perfectly. But I think it's just that I am so happy for him that he has the words to tell you what he feels inside. Sometimes I think we forget what a miracle it is that all of us can do that so easily and take it for granted. Think of how great it would be if we all just communicated the real stuff so truthfully and easily as your Simon did today. What a cool little guy...
Oh, and I would have been busting up giggling at "sneaky."
sara
http://gitzengirl.blogspot.com
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So proud of him...honesty is tough some times. Luckily he has a Mom and Dad who will help to grow that skill by rewarding him for it instead of punishing. That will take hime far! Love you 4 Liz
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One of those mommy "awww" moments, where you lift a bit of praise up and say, thank you Lord for giving me patience and wisdom to parent this little guy. Those moments make all those other difficult ones so worth it!
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hey ali! it'been a while since i've checked in, and i see you are expecting! congrats! luv simon's story from school, such a great one, such a boy!
hope you are feeling well!
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It's the little things - ahhhhhh!!! Cute!
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Oh, that is such a good one to remember always. Thank you for sharing it. And give Simon an extra squeeze with a thanks for "fessing up when you be messin' up"---that's what we call it here. And I think it is one of the biggest gifts we can give our kids---the feeling of safety to make mistakes and learn from them and be honest about them.
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Way cute. It can be silly and then deep down we all worry like mommies do. He's a spunky little guy!!!!
Hope you guys are having a great day!
-Karla
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What a GREAT story.
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Ali~ What an awesome guy Simon is! To be able to tell you about his day before you read about it...especially when it was something not so great. It would be hard for any kid to tell his parents about his star being in yellow. You are teaching him some fantastic life lessons! Keep up the great work! And let Simon know how proud of him I am!!!
:~) Shawn
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your story made me chuck as i though back to the conversation between my 9 year old daughter, isa, and myself last night. she boldly initialed my initials on her reading log this week and handed it in! that was sneaky too...but also normal. at least normal the first time!
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oops...chuckle!!!! not chuck
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we have an Apple Tree in Hannah's room :)
She works hard at staying on top.
Simon is a good little kid!
yellow stars are "oops" stars...that's ok :)
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What a wonderful story!! Simon is growing by leaps and bounds.........
Keep the communication flowing:) My 12 year old and I discuss his day at school every single day ----
Your post makes my heart warm
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I love this story - what an amazing little person - way to go Simon!!! Ali, thanks for a big smile on my face today.
I have a student in my class that we are working on getting to initiate conversation - this reminds me that patience and persistance pay off and they will do it in their time, not always ours. You are an inspiration.
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Hooray for progress, and kudos to Simon for wanting to be truthful! Love the idea of a communication notebook and sharing the day right when he gets home. :)
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Oh, what a wonderful story! I'm so glad Simon is communicating so well. My son is autistic also, and he's starting to tell me things that happen at school. It amazes and thrills me, every single word of it. It's just huge!
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Great progress for you all!! Happy to hear it. We are still have problems getting out of Brody how is day went - but working hard at it. We review the book daily, and Brody is typically not having good days yet (still getting accustomed to school and the change)
Nicky
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Hooray for strong lines of communication. What a great after school conversation/connection. Thanks for sharing--and thanks for a great blog! I enjoy reading your posts.
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"Sneaky", I love it! What a great story! Thanks for sharing with us.
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I work in a behavior modification program and we use communication books with our students on a daily basis. It is an awesome way to keep everyone informed about what is going on. We have even used this with our "wild child" Cassie (who suffers from ADHD) when she was in grade school.
Thanks for sharing with us.
Donnelly
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Truly what beautiful moments those are - I worked in behavior modification for years - found it a GREAT tool - so glad it works for you all too!
thanks for sharing it all - Ellie
http://mother2daughter.wordpress.com/
http://jibaro6543.blogspot.com/
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