What Is Real Right Now

Your honesty is refreshing. Praying for you today.

Dear Ali,
We are all in this together - your blog is real and I applaud that. I am sure I speak for so many readers when I say we feel like part of your family and families are there in the good and the bad times. So today or this week or this month isn't fabulous - that's ok. What we must remember is when it is good to savor it and tuck it away for the bad times. You do such a good job of capturing the everyday and all of the good that happens - a smile, a kind word, a sweet hug between siblings. Look to your own art for those memories of the good. Isn't that why so many of us scrap - to remember those fleeting moments of wonderful? To have them at our fingertips to share with others and with ourselves? To show children a granddady who is gone, but who once held them so tight and loved them so much so they will remember? To bring back the sparkle from a special day awash with white and tulle? I know I look at my books, late at night, and I smile. Maybe you will too.
Sending you thougths and prayers from Texas.

Prayers and lots of positive thoughts going your way. I can totally relate. I am 43 and am just starting to feel the "midlife thing" with two children who are teens,one who is 15 months and parents who are just starting to have illnesses and needing my help and care. In the midst of all of it I am wondering who I am, and where I am going. It makes it hard for my husband and I to find time for each other just to even talk. Hang in there. You have been such an inspiration to me!

My thoughts and love are with you. Thank you for your real-ness today, and the bravery that goes along with it. Your amazing attitude, creativity and wonderful blog have seen me through hard times and I hope your tough times are short lived.
x

Hoping that good things and feelings will find their way to you; Ali.

I don't know of anything more disconcerting that feeling like you are in a different place than the one you love most. I will send strong thoughts and prayers that you both are able to find the strength to compromise, listen, respect each other, and work on the relationship. You are not alone. I am coming to realize that there will always be bumps along the road in even the best of marriages. Here's hoping you both can get over thi none and all those that follow.

Sending you good thoughts and prayers, Ali. BIG hugs. :)

A real marriage is suseptable to the ebbs and flows of every friendship. The difference is, you don't get to have time away from a marriage like you do a friendship when you might feel as though you need it. There in lies the difference, and the intimacy of it all. You are not alone in that matter. We all have ebbs and flows in our marriages (that is what makes them real and alive). Sometimes just listening to my husband breathe is maddening...for no apparent reason. I just make the decision not to tell him about it, and laugh at myself. I still acknowledge the feeling though, and work through it. Change is hard, and connecting to your spouse is even harder during change. Missing him and being irratable can sometimes be the same thing. I will pray for you to have connection, and honesty. I already know you have the love part.

Prayers are in the air for you

Ali - Blessings of love on your heart for sharing so honestly. I am praying for your safe passage through these tough times on your journey. Love, peace and comfort sent your way.

Ali, you seem to have such a full life . . . you work so hard to appreciate life, examine it, cherish it, document and share it. So often thinking of others. Be gentle with yourself. You all are in such a busy time of family life - which will pass all too quickly. Focus on the positive, learn from the negative and move on. Keep breathing.

hugs to you, my dear...
sometimes life is just rough.
& it just is.

it was so nice to see you sunday
hope we can get together this year...maybe? once? :)

<3

Ali...I read your post yesterday and have spent the last 24 hours thinking and praying for you, Chris and your wonderful family. I've had the pleasure of taking a couple of classes from you in person, as well as Yesterday and Today at BPC, which was so affirming and inspiring for me as I love journaling and being real in my scrapping and life. Your willingness to be authentic and real on your blog is one of the reasons so many women, like myself, stop in and visit you everyday. My husband Russell and I have been married almost 29 years. I am blessed to have the most wonderful husband in the world. However, like all marriages and relationships, they take time and work. Our daughter just became a US Marine and we are now empty nesters, something I thought woud be wonderful but is amazingly hard. I've been unemployed for two years and have had major health issues the last few years...but through it all, I know how blessed I am. Life is messy and it hurts, but it's also incredibly wonderful and full of incredible moments...as you so eloquently shared your "what is real now".

Making time for each other, away from the kiddos is so important, even if it's just a couple of hours a week. Having a sense of humor and being kind to each other are so important. One of the things I discovered during one of our rough patches (and yes, all marriages have them!) is that when I went the extra mile to do something for him, especially when I didn't feel like it (make his lunch, write a little note, buy his favorite snack, etc.), it made me feel better and he appreciated and loved me more. You are in my prayers. No getting around it...life is hard and sometimes all you can do is have a good cry and then let go and let God. Sending you love and hugs...thanks so much for your letting us into your real life.

From someone who has been married now for 25 years - I have to say honestly that it is the hardest, most challenging thing I have ever done (or am likely to do ) in my lifetime. Best wishes headed your way.

Ali, I have been teary many-a-time reading your blog - every type emotion gets evoked here! So many times I find just what I need here, as a woman who doesn't have much of a social life due to family demands and a special needs child, and as someone who works wacky hours,So many things in my own marriage shift as we mature - in many ways we are the same people,and in other ways we want totally different things. So my tears of joy on reading about Simom and Ana (I also felt teary on the post where Simon fell off his bike) and my tears of concern over the challenges in your marriage will spill over into prayer for you and your family. And all the good karma that you so so so deserve. I wish I could come give you a hug in person. Any support you need, we are here for you!

My stomach took a little leap when I read about your struggles. If I had to pick only one blog to visit, it would be yours. You have always been so inspirational and kind and gracious to answer even our most insignificant questions. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you. Hang in there.

Love and respect to you...even the bumps are part of the journey and they make us who we are...keep doing what you do and thanks for your refreshing honesty...

I'm really sorry your having a hard time Ali. your life always looks so great, so I am sorry there are some bumps in the road at the moment. Ride through it, you will get there! Even though it may totally suck right now, there will be light at the end of the tunnel, there always is, even if you can't imagine it at the time. Hugs to you.

Ali, you have been such an inspiration to me over the years. This last year, my brother died suddendly and my husband and I had a significant issue occur which almost destroyed our marriage (it may yet, but we're trying to salvage what we have). Often, in tears, I would head to your blog and see some light - an approach to life, kind words, a beautiful photo, generosity. You help lift our life burdens and gently remind us to be real, truly live each day, and carry on as best we can. Thank you for being you. May the sun and moon shine lots of light on you and Chris and your home as you work through your challenges.

Cutting Stone is such a beautiful story -- I hope you love it like I did!

I wanted to send you a hug and let you know I'm rooting for you! Izzy and I struggled through an extra hard time a couple years ago. I just want you to know you're in my thoughts and hopes.

ali,
thank you for writing posts like this and for putting yourself out there, even the tough stuff. i can't tell you how much i appreciate it. i quit reading blogs for awhile because i was stuck in a comparison rut wondering why i could not manage up to these other mothers who seemed to have it all together and didn't struggle. it's hard to remember sometimes that people (and not just online, though it's easier, i'd guess, to do) choose what to show the world at large and what not to share... but it's just refreshing to see real life from such an amazing blog. thank you.

you are in my thoughts as you guys navigate this time - no one ever tells you that marriage is WORK, and it sounds so un-romantic, but it really is. it's difficult and it's a choice to love someone day in and day out... here's hoping that the workload is light and that you are back to easy connecting quickly.

One of my friends posted this lovely quote on facebook today and I couldn't wait to share it with you:

"Friends are quiet Angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

May all of your quiet angels be there for you today and always, Ali. I'm sending a HUGE Army Mom hug your way.

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Thanks, Ali, for being so honest. Many prayers for you, along with lots of positive energy being sent your way.

Sorry to hear you're going through a challenging time. Sending lots of positive energy your way :)