Things I Am Learning (or re-learning)
1. Typing one handed, with a nursing baby in the other arm, is not too hard (just takes a lot longer).
2. There is nothing better than just sitting and watching her facial expressions while she is sleeping.
3. Witnessing Simon's love for Anna is totally more amazing than I could have ever imagined.
4. I now have "kids." Still feels strange to say "the kids."
5. Simon is like a giant compared to Anna. I remember a couple people in the comments a few weeks back talking about how big Simon would seem after her arrival. It is so VERY true. Each time I give him a hug, rustle my hand through his hair, and just look at his face I can't believe how old he is - I don' think without Anna for comparison I would have been able to "see" him as he really appears (I saw many more little boy features).
6. Girls clothes really are more fun than boys.
7. I am having moments where I miss Simon. In the midst of so much joy & celebration I am
missing him and the way things used to be. I am working hard to set
aside time for just me and him - to chat, to snuggle, to give him my
undivided attention. I don't want to lose our connection in this time
of transition. Bittersweet.
8. Taking a hot shower is one of my favorite parts of the day.
9. I love how Chris put his favorite photo of Anna as his phone wallpaper so he can whip it out and see her beautiful little face.
10. I really, really miss my Mom when she leaves after being here with us right after the births of both our kids. Just having her here and hanging out with her and having her take care of us is something I am so very thankful for - love you Mom. You are the best. These emotions seem even more powerful this time around as I glance over at Anna and have those "wow, I have a daughter" thoughts. The mother daughter bond is powerful in our family.
11. I can finally cough and blow my nose again without feeling like my incision is going to break wide open.
12. Listening to Simon talk to Anna is another favorite part of my day. Yesterday he was telling her all about Harry Potter. He says things like, "Baby Anna this is Obi Wan Kenobi." or "Baby Anna do you want to watch Harry Potter with me?" or "It's OK Anna, you are safe" when she cries.
13. Wireless internet and my laptop are something I am thankful for. For those of you surprised at my posting so soon after Anna's birth, some of the posts were planned in advance (like the giveaway) and others were done while I am sitting here on the couch nursing or holding Anna. So thankful for our big brown comfy couch.
14. Having your 10 year old washer & dryer die the day before a child is born is a total pain...especially if you are planning to use cloth diapers from the beginning. I ended up waiting and will start this next week after the new appliances are delivered.
15. Simon is having a challenging time at school right now with some behavior issues. The transitions at home seem to be impacting him in different ways this time around - one of which is acting out physically when he is frustrated. Hoping that this too shall pass sooner rather than later as we all settle into our new routine.
16. Over the last two weeks Simon has gone to be and woke up saying he is
sick, hoping he will be able to stay home. It's gotta be hard for him
to leave in the morning - especially with his favorite person (Grandma
Pati) and his new favorite person (Baby Anna) here at home.
17. Yesterday was my first really tough day. Overwhelmed. Tired. Weepy. Anna not interested in sleeping until late in the afternoon. Fighting a cold.
18. Remembering each day that tomorrow is another day; that I need to treasure these early moments and let go of my own personal expectations for how the day should go.
I remember feeling that need to connect in a special way with my son after my daughter was born too. My husband and I started "dates". We alternate months and then take each child out on a special "date" with us. It has become a treasured time now that we have 3 children. The love that once a month they are getting some time with one of their parents.
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If you have time to read this I will be amazed even more than I am every day. On Simon, my guy with ASD is also the oldest. We all find our own path, but its so important for the school and the home to catch him being good right now, and superpraise for problem solving with words at every instance.
You are a wonderful mom, and you inspire me daily.
Maria
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congratulations! i haven´t visited for a long time - obviously -and now you're four! take care!
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ali --
your abilty and capacity to reflect at such an overwhelming time are remarkable to me. your honestly is also remarkable. you seem to know yourself well. easy does it! i love the pic of anna sleeping -- aren't sleeping babies (and 7 year olds) the best!
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your little A is just precious! one day at a time, enjoy every second of it! i saw this on etsy, and totally thought of you both -
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21001826
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I treasure your open and loving heart that you freely share with the world. Somehow it makes me feel that we're all in this together. Thank you Ali.
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I treasure your open and loving heart and that you share it freely with the world. Somehow it makes me feel that we're all in this together. Thank you Ali!
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ali - #7 just makes me get teary-eyed...i, myself, am struggling w/ the concept of having another child (flip-flopping about having a #2) and wondering if i could possibly love that baby as much as i love my almost-5 year old daughter. i know i would, but it seems impossible to hold that much love in your heart...congrats on baby anna - love the name...she's precious.
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Thanks for sharing these insights, Ali. Not having any kids myself, its always interesting to hear the unedited version of how people really feel about kids-- especially the part about missing Simon. I always wondered about that...
Anna is beautiful. Absolutely.
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Your post brought tears to my eyes. I now have three children but with each baby I did mourn the time it took away from the other child/children. Missing the older child is very normal.
The first few months with a new baby are so, so special.
All I can say is, "enjoy the moment" my baby is 2 and it seems like just the other day I was sitting in the rocking chair nursing her and worrying about the messy living room. Gosh, the mess was so not a big deal but at the time I thought it was.
Take care and enjoy your wonderful family.
Sara M
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She's just beautiful Ali! I bet Simon is a wonderful big brother. Get plenty of rest everything else will be there....
Hope you are getting a front loader washer/dryer. They are the best
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You're such a great mom and so strong to share all your thoughts, feelings and reactions. An idea about Simon: maybe one day you and Anna could pick Simon up from school and he could show her his environment there - desk, playground, etc. - she could leave a little picture of herself in his desk...
Enjoy your little ones!
Christine
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I can really relate to your feelings, Ali! Cherish it all...our baby girl (also #2) is already 9 months old and it has gone by in a flash! And the bond between brother and sister is precious! Nothing can replace it.
Blessings to you and your growing family,
Brittany
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Hang in there -- many of us have been there. The first 4 weeks my second was home were the hardest of my life, but I made it through and how wonderful that you are documenting the good and the bad along the way. In a few weeks this well be a distant memory -- hang on!
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Hi Ali,
Congratulations on the safe arrival of baby Anna. She looks like a very content and happy baby so you must be doing heaps right. I love reading your comments and I was struck by number 7 and how you miss Simon and how things used to be. I have an 8 yr old son and 6 yr old daughter and I often find myself even now thinking of how I don't get one on one time with either. I love when one is home sick from school or when one has a birthday party and I get to spend time with the other one all alone........My children play great together and love each others company but it is so nice to experience them on their own. I think it is just part of being a loving mother who wants to be a special part of her childrens lives. (the same goes for having one on one time with your mum...... it is only since both my children have started school that I have been able to have a quiet and adult conversation with my mum again without having either one of my kids demanding either of our attentions.....LOL only a mothers joy)
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I don't really remember what it feels like to have an "only" child: my son was only 16 months old when my daughter was born, so they really HAVE grown up together, and I've grown with them. Today was a big day: we finally split them up into separate bedrooms. They like having their own space and toys to play with, but I'm sure tonight will be difficult, they are such good buds. It's sucha joy to watch the love that siblings have for one another. love and hugs your way-
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It sounds like things are going very well.
Anna is simply adorable : ) I love the photos you have posted of her!
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Ali, thanks so much for allowing us a peek into your private life like this. And thank you for showing that there are imperfect and challenging parts too. Perfection is intimidating... and dull.
That is a gorgeous photo of your little girl.
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Oh, I'm feeling for you! I remember the bittersweet longings to be with my #1. I remember the awe and fierce protectiveness for #2. The total exhaustion. The hormonal weepiness. The fatigue. This too shall pass . . . and you will be left to wonder where the time has gone.
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Your posts are so lovely, they bring on my tearyness! Being nearly 30 weeks pregnant I guess doesn't help the emotions either. Bless you for sharing, you are beautiful and so is your family.
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She is beautiful. Reminds me of my daughter at that age. Be kind to yourself.
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Oh, it's all so true!! You have completely brought back my thoughts and emotions when I went through this same transition 2 1/2 years ago...I'm glad you're remembering to treasure it all. As you know, it really does go too fast. A friend once told me that with young kids, 'the days are long, but the years are short'. I remind myself of that when I'm having one of those hard days. Blessings to you and your sweet family!
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Ali- Try sending Simon to school with a Picture of Anna to help cope with the separation. And, when he feels frustrated tell him to look at the picture of Anna. Sometimes this really works.
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Ali: THANK YOU for your honesty and frank descriptions of your feelings and everyday life as a new mom of 2. Thank you so much for sharing that!
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Ali,
I have 4 kids and now a grand daughter. Now that my kids are mostly grown (27, 26, 15 & 13) some days when I hold my grand daughter I am sad for what has passed me by already. I do rejoice that I no longer have to be an octopus and juggle kids hands, toys and bottles. But in a very real way I long for that closeness that you only share with a baby and younger children. My 15 yr. old always got into bed with me every morning for a cuddle and I remember telling him that it would some day pass and he would no longer want to do that, he said never! Well there are mornings that I still wish he would crawl into bed and cuddle me, of course he thinks that truly sick!! Enjoy every single moment and know that they will go by more quickly that you can imagine!
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