Things I Am Learning (or re-learning)

oh one more thing i wanted to share. a close family friend gave me great advice as i too struggled with my son's behavior when i had to be with the baby. She advised me to "fill his cup" before i had to spend time with the baby/ nurse/ whatever. By filling his cup, that meant spend very focused time with him reading or playing... filling his cup with love from mama:) that really did help so much. i know it's a simple principle but it helped me alot. Blessings!

She is beautiful! The time of transition...filled with ups and downs and lots of memories! You will all make it through and you'll soon discover it's hard to remember life before "kids"! You are amazing and I send you blessings!

She is a doll. Gorgeous pic. Thats good about the washer.A new one will wash the dipes better. Less water too!
I bet girl clothes are cuter! So Jealous. I'll live vicariously through you. :)

This was such a great post. I love a look into real life.
When my brother's second son was born they were driving home from the hospital with their two boys in car seats in the back and he turned around to say, "You boys settle down back there!" just because he'd been waiting his whole life to say that. You having "kids" is a moment to cherish.
And man, she is scrumptious. Absolutely precious.

Oh Ali,
What a precious photo....I have been sitting here just staring at the beautiful baby you have. Funny how babies- even their photos- bring such a feeling of peace and calm...enjoy and thank you for sharing her.

I was right where you are just a few weeks ago. Now that Tuesday is six weeks I can barely remember the almost frantic way I felt at times. So much emotion, it's so overwhelming. I'm glad I wrote down what I was feeling, like you are doing, because it is true... it's going faster than I ever could have imagined. You're doing awesome, just keep letting the feelings wash over you as they come.

Number 7 hits me straight in the gut. I missed my firstborn soooo much after the birth of my second. Sooo sooo soo much. Just wanted things to feel the same again with him. Just me and him, like it used to be. It's sort of a grieving process in it's own bizarre way. It won't ever be "the same" but it sure can be even better. All things in time. :-)

love your honesty, Ali! It's so true...that longing for how things used to be...adjusting...learning to love someone new and feeling so guilty at how you've changed your 1st child's life. I remember holding my son and crying about how life had changed for his sister; and then feeling guilty that I was putting that on his newborn life. I think it is really honest and most people don't fess up on those feelings. So embrace it- the messiness...the guilt....soon you will have tears in your eyes at the memory of those very raw feelings of learning to love someone new. And I love how now I can realize that I gave my daughter the very best gift I could- her brother. Kate

What a beautiful daughter you have Ali...I think of Simon and how the change must be such a big change in his life for anychild a new sibling would be hard but throw autism on top of that and it just makes things a bit harder. Im glad my boys are close in age and that my second son was already born when my first son was diagnosed wiith autism..... But i know how change can be so hard for them, hang in there and enjoy your new little bundle. Take care of yourself and remember tomorrow is always another day.

I love reading your thoughts, Ali. So insightful and remind me of my own memories after each birth. I couldn't be more thrilled for you and your family!! I knew Simon was going to be a wonderful big brother. Kisses to Simon & Baby Anna :)

Our baby #3 has been here just 9 weeks, and I can relate to so many of these... our was just the dryer, not the washer too! I'm changing from "the girls" to "the kids"... but you've hit the nail on the head with #18--perhaps we should just repeat 18 over & over (like 1.5, 2.5, etc!) Enjoy those weepy moments too--I've found that some of my most heartfelt journaling comes during those emotional rushes. Take good care, and I'm hoping Simon's feelings & actions calm soon.

Ali- I love the raw emotion in your post! My kids are 4 years apart, so I can relate with the missing the older one and it being bittersweet.
You'll find your rythym. She's absolutely GORGEOUS!!! Cherish this time, it passes all to quickly.
Jennifer

It's so nice that you post your personal thoughts, they remind me of many of my own. #10 on your list struck a soft spot, my mother lives 750 miles away and after spending two weeks with us after each little one was born it was very emotional when it was time for her to leave. I can't thank her enough for that time.

Can so relate to all that! And still now with the youngest at the age of four it is bittersweet for me to see the eldest (8 in a few weeks) and I think of the time I could have with him alone when he is needy. But he has to share me with two younger siblings who everybody adore. And sometimes I want to just be with him alone so he can feel he is still my little one. So we started doing trips together just the two of us: mum and me days or even a three day trip. And that is wonderful and a perfect time to get closer again. I think all of ones children need mummy time on their own (and daddy time, of course) so we sometimes just split them so they can have one parent for a special time alone.
reading all this shows me what a great mum you already are and will be for siblings as well!
warmest greetings from the depths of me!
Yvonne

I TOTALLY agree with #5...I just had a baby 4 months ago and my older son turned 3 not long after. I was only in the hospital after having a c section for 3 days, but when I came home it seemed like it had been a whole year! A bawled my eyes out when I came home to him, it seemed like overnight he went from my little guy to a real little boy! I have definitely learned to cherish the small things & moments while they're young, you won't get them back! :)

It is amazing how you are able to put in words this so very familiar feelings! My youngest it 3 years old, and still feels strange to talk about my kids, in plural, as I had only one for 8 years! Such a cute cute baby... and about the girl's clothes, it will get better and better! :)

So true #18... and all the others too, the gammat of emotions and thoughts... adjusting, appreciating, tired, trying, joyfilled.
You put it all so well and all us other Mums out here totally empathise.
Hugs and Love to you and yours Ali.
Bek xo

Oh Ali she is stunningly beautiful. As for the part about Simon acting out physically - my heart broke when I read that. I have a little fella (well nearly 8!) who is the same. So many people don't understand that part of it - they just say my little fella is naughty! Chin up Ali - all is beautiful in your home right now. Just perfect. Simon - huge hugs coming your way from down in Oz (Australia!).

Ali,
Tears in eyes from this post. Sending cyber hugs and prayers your way.
Such tender, awesome words....
It is confirmed, you are my favorite person that I have never met. Betcha didn't know there was a category for that, did ya'!
You're keeping it real...honest, open and you are also one of the most courageous people I have never met too!
Peace and strength
Lyn

All such neat insights! I have four kids and 6 grandkids and these little discoveries just don't get old!

Reading your post made me remember how my eldest daughter was when my youngest was born. They are 7 years apart and I also never realized how much she has grown, how she's not a baby anymore until I delivered my second baby. :D

Ali:
As a mommy of five, I remember those foggy, newborn days so well. It does get better! Even by 6 weeks, I felt so much better.
Be gentle with yourself. You're doing a great job, even if you're weepy & overwhelmed. Things have changed. It takes time for everyone to adjust. Most likely Simon is experiencing that as well.
You're going to be OK.
You ARE a good mommy.
Try to sleep when the baby sleeps; even if it's at odd times.
Let others help you.
Enjoy it. Newborn Anna will soon be baby Anna. It all goes by so quickly.
Hugs and love,
Mommy of Five

awwww, you just summed up new-babyness so well! and that photo is breathtaking - rolled up sleeves on a tiny little body (when even 0-3 month sized pj's are still too big!) these days are beautiful, even when you're weepy and in your pjs and longing for that hot shower.

You're doing it! Even though it's messy and difficult and emotional, you're doing it. And what a wonderful joy it is to get a chance to do it...with her along for the ride in the Edwards's Family.
Man, that part about Simon saying she was "safe" that got me! So sweet.

Oh my gosh - she is so sweet! (;
Yesterday I got to see my cousins first baby - 2 months old Jonathan - and it's always overwhelming to see these little human beings.
And to compare them to the "old ones"! (;
GOOD LUCK for the time to come!
Lovely greetings from over the ocean!
Katharina from the BlackForestRegion/Germany (;