Things I Am Learning (or re-learning)

Ali, I can relate with so much that you said today. I have a two-year-old son and a 5-month old son. After I had the baby, I started thinking about how big my older son was and he wasn't my baby anymore. It is bittersweet and I too have had to make time to spend with him one-on-one. It has made a huge difference in his behavior. Sometimes it's as simple as reading to him while nursing the baby. At first, there were a lot of times that I missed my older son too, or missed the relationship and routine that we had before the baby came. It's all about adjustments and getting into a new routine that works for everyone. Also, I've found myself typing one-handed a lot too! And even eating left-handed (I'm a righty)! Good luck with this time of adjustment and transition in your life!

With tears in my eyes I must say ENJOY every minute or you will wake up like I do to the fact that my beautiful daughter is going to be 25 and she is a mother also. I joking tell her that I would give anything to be to hold her like a baby again!!!
;)

your daughter is BeAuTifuL...
oh how some days can be exhausting... finding the balance and SLEEP in it all!
18... SO good... SO true... hold onto your little ones... the rest... ehh... it can wait! :D

I pray that today is better than yesterday. My baby (of 4) is almost 4 months and I remember how hard the nursing was and trying to sleep and take care of everyone because "I am the Mom". Then I remembered that these trying first couple of months are such a small fraction of our entire life and before too long they are over. Nursing, I think, is one of God's ways to make a new mom sit down and rest and reflect on what is important. Now I look back and am amazed at how fast it all went. And not to scare you or rush you, but I found that going from 1 to 2 children is a harder adjustment than going from 2 to 3.
You are in my prayers this week.

I personally think scrappers see things a lot better than non scrappers. We're so used to expressing oursleves, making oursleves unpack all those emotions. We're super aware of how we want things to be, and even with this awareness, I sometimes have to remind myself to stay in the moment. Savour every minute, don't over analyse everything. Live in the moment.

Ali-
You are so open with your feelings. That is awesome. I had my little girl in 2007 and my son was 8 years old at the time. He loved her so much, but the transition was difficult and we still are seeing a little bit of it today. You have a pretty good observation and seem to know what is going on with Simon. I didn't have that with my little boy. I thought he would be ok. It isn't that he's not ok, but if I'd been as aware as you I could have made it smoother for him.
Hugs-Kathy

Powerful stuff!

Thank you for putting these thoughts into words. I have a 7 1/2 year gap between my two kids and this is exactly how I felt after my daughter was born. I still worry that having a sister is not quite what my son imagined it to be. A lot more work than play. My baby girl is just turned one and we are still trying to find the right balance.

I'm right there with you. I've been nursing and blogging every morning for the past six months...it's really not as difficult as people may think. Also, we had our van's steering column start going out and could barely turn left on the way to the hospital for me to be induced so while I was having my stay the van was in the shop. To make things even more hectic, we arrived home with Carter on a Sunday evening and my two girls had there first day of school the very next morning! It was crazy, but I think that we were so high on life from having a new baby that it all wasn't really as crazy as it sounds!!! Hope you are loving these first few weeks with your precious baby girl and enjoying having "kids"!!
-Sarah

Thanks for sharing Ali! She is simply beautiful, she and Simon are so blessed to have you! It is so awesome to share in this with you and your fabulous family!

Oh Ali..this post really touched my heart. I remember using the term "The Kids" for the first time after my daughter was born. It felt so surreal. The transition from one child to two was a tad overwhelming at times. The adjustment period took a little more time than I thought. :-) Oh, the sweet memories of those first months. *sigh*... I miss them and they go by SO FAST!! Your daughter is beautiful and I know you will treasure this wonderful time with your family. peace and blessings...
Cindy

#5 & #7 are the ones that really stood out to me. I just remember when Erin was born and Evan came to visit, he looked huge to me. Especially his head (lol)
And now that he is in first grade and it's just Erin and I at home, I really do miss him. :0)
It was nice to have the time to bond with Erin while he was at school, when she was first born. But life certainly is different.
Congratulations again. That photo of her is precious!!

Love that photo of her. She is so beautiful.
Things will take time to get to a normal routine. A lot has happened. What you know as normal really has gone by the wayside and a new normal will soon take it's place.
I love your approach and thought process.
Not every day will go as planned. And to use your words of wisdom "that's ok".
I don't blame Simon for wanting to stay home. He's your first born and will always be your baby.
Peace to you. Have a beautiful day.

Loved this post - so touching, so real, so honest.
I just about cried when I read that Simon says 'it's ok Anna, you are safe' - how beautiful is that??!!
Thanks for sharing.
A.

Ali,
This is Amazing and REAL, like nearly everything you write. Thanks for sharing. You continually remind me to enjoy and appreciate the everyday stuff. Next step, writing it down more often so we can all look back at it when the children are grown and appreciate the wonder that is today.
Don't forget to take time for you, too.
:-) Heather

Thank you for sharing all of your thoughts right now. Take time to adjust to the new situation and know that you will be doing your best, whatever does/doesn't happen. It is really important to allow yourself time to rest. I am amazed that you are back on the computer so soon. Be sure to get rest yourself when the baby goes down to nap! The laundry/cleaning/cooking/computer posting will wait. Best wishes to you and your family.
Kate

Ali,
Thanks for your honesty with us. Take care of yourself during this time . . . I know it can be very, very difficult, especially for someone like you who is so used to working effectively and efficiently without interruption. A new baby changes everything!
Anna is absolutely perfectly beautiful.

I j's ust wanted to let you know that it really touched me that Simon tells Anna she is safe when she cries-so sweet. I have kept up with your blog for the last little while, and have been inspired by your work with Austism Speaks. I work with some the Special Education kids where I live, and hearing success stories always brightens my day so thank-you!!

i only have 4 weeks (give or take) until baby #2 arrives. my #1 child is 4. i'm already dreading some of the changes that will take place. the comment you made about feeling bittersweet in the change with Simon is something I'm so nervous about dealing with when this baby arrives. my little girl is already acting at at school and i can only hope and pray that it doesn't get worse after the baby arrives. thank you for sharing your thoughts...

Just a note to say that Baby ACE is quite a precious - what a blessing and a joy. I know you are taking tons of photos - there will be so many changes over the weeks and months between now and her first birthday. Enjoy what you can - and try to get REST when you can.
Thanks for the updates - hugs & kisses all around.

Ali, I am sure that you have thought long and hard about how best to help Simon with the transition. How you teach him to handle it will help him deal with change as he gets older. We have 3, oldest is a boy and the others girls 10, 7, 4. I used to sit with them and the new baby and say see that see how she sucks her lip when she is sleeping. Then pull out a photo of them doing the same thing. Every time the new baby would do something they would ask "did i do that?" or "mom get a picture of her doing that!" We still talk about the way they each used to say words. The older two are tickled that their little sister is so much like them. They laugh when she says, "what mumber (that's how she says number) am I?" Translated ... How old am I?" Oh it is so much fun having "kids"! But remember that you can not care for them if you do not first care for yourself! Blessings to you and your family!

Loved your honest and true post today. Like so many others, I can relate. My older one is now 3 and a half years old, my baby girl 7 months.
There are moments (or even days) of the one kind:
- What has gotten into me longing for a second child?
- Does he have to have a tantrum NOW?
- I hate all the people out there saying: "Oh, I don't want to have kids. I rather want to travel and be free." (But still somebody needs to pay their pension, at least here in Germany, which would be ... um ... MY kids .... arrrrggg!!!)
- I want to be ALONE!!!!
And of course moments (or days) of the other kind:
- Thank God, I have two wonderful and healthy kids. WOW, I have a family!
- I am proud of myself, because I can manage all of this.
- What he just said did was SO sweet!
- Babies produce the sweetest sound of giggles and laughter ...
But it's all worth it, isn't it? It seems crazy right now to me, but I too will be missing these days with the little ones!
Have a great day and hope you get some sleep!

oh how I remember these things...I have a 3 month old...and you do get sleep again, and you also stop being weepy and overwhelmed. (for the most part!)
Something that helped me was each evening, before "bedtime" (yeah right!)...I wanted to read to my baby...so I read inspirational, encouraging things for MYSELF...but I read them outloud while holding her. I figured it would probably help her (you're supposed to read to your baby, right?)...but it helped me way more!!!
You could pick whatever reading suited you, I picked the Proverbs and Psalms in the Bible...for whatever day it was...I'd read the same number Proverb or Psalms. Since there are 31 Proverbs, and 31 days of the month, this worked out perfectly...
Just a thought that might keep your sanity!! :) Anna is BEAUTIFUL....

hi ali!
loved this post- i hope you are writing these in your beautiful journal. :)
my second born baby girl will turn one on thursday. my firstborn is a 3 year old little boy. i remember having so many of the same feelings exactly a year ago. So many emotions - overjoyed, sad, tired, and the list goes on. And now, I can't believe how fast her first year went- much quicker than it did with my son. A blink of an eye...
Hang in there Ali, you will get your routine (and sleep :) soon. You will find your groove. I firmly believe the first 6 weeks are all about survival! :)
Blessings to you- Jenni

ALI,
my darling son will be 4 months on wednesday... i remember the first few weeks, at least you have your mother around... it was just me and the baby, and my hubby when he wasn't working... i can't wait to have "kids"... kinda want it soon. i too remember the weepy part... hang in there!