AE | The Weekend Lens

Hi Ali,

I know there are a lot of posts, but I wanted to tell you that I was amazed at how much taking pictures has helped me find some solace in the midst of pain. My dad's cancer has reoccurred and he is now terminal with a short couple of months ahead. We are very close and I can't imagine life without him being a tangible part of it.

When we finally got him home in the end of August, I had to step out of my parents' room as they were setting up his hospital bed. I was overcome with grief and beginning to cry so I went out to my dad's garden. As I leaned upon the gate crying, I looked down at this beautiful button flower in the midst of the overgrown garden that hadn't been tended during this unexpected time. It made me realize that I wanted to remember the moments of hope and beauty in this period of pain and grief. I thought of the camera on my phone and pulled it out and started taking pictures of the flower, his garden--the redness of the tomatoes despite the lack of our care, and their beautiful back yard. The pain and tears eased a bit with a small touch of peace and I realized what a gift to memorialize this time...not just the good but the painful too. That realization has carried me through September... While I don't have the time to scrap now, I am looking forward to the time someday in the future and forever grateful for your encouragement to capture today and keep it real, even when it is difficult.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers,
Michelle in Michigan

This. Is such a good reminder. I DO find myself putting off taking pictures when things aren't going well - I think I subconciously don't want to document the bad. But it's interesting now looking back on the photos that I took during a time when I was clinically depressed - I know what I felt like then, but looking at the pictures now I don't FEEL that shadow - I feel how much I loved that dogwood tree, remember how silly my boys were everytime I tried to get them to pose for first day of school pictures, how peaceful it was to be in the classroom at their Montessori school, how Caleb carried a stuffed animal everywhere he went. I know that the depression was there - but looking at these pictures that I love from that terrible time smoothes things over a little, takes away some of the sting. I am not unaffected by the depression, thinking about it without having the pictures in front of me usually brings up emotions I'd rather do without, but having these pictures helps in ways I wouldn't have expected.

I SO needed this reminder. To realize how looking through my old albums makes me feel. To look at my camera in a different light - as a tool to be able to SEE the good RIGHT NOW, a way to see through some of the other stuff that makes me want leave that camera on a shelf until I can make things in my life more "right", more pretty for the camera.

thank you for being real and for reminding me of some things and helping me see some things that I couldn't.

You inspire me with your courage, Ali. The full meaning of the word. Thank you. You are in my thoughts.

“Even our disappointments hold a treasure if we ask God to work something good out of them.” – Joyce Meyer

You are so wise to photograph your life, even in difficult times. From personal experience, I can tell you that these will someday be some of your favorite photos as they will remind you of how God brought you through tough times to the beautiful place where I am certain, He is now leading you.

focusing on the good stuff + mom at your side = a better place

Wow I love this idea so much and weirdly I did this today after a too long camera break. I too have been sad lately and need to see all the goodness around me. I also spent time looking through old photos and thought how good that can be too to remind us of all the good that has been...

Have you read "This isn't the story that you think it is" by Laura Munson? Interesting book and I think similar to what you may be going thru. FYI. Take Care.

Ali, I wish you enough.......I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting. I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye. (stole this from an email that was going around some time ago and I saved it because I liked it - helped me get through my dad's passing and hope it helps you as well.)
On another note, I agree with you; the best way I pick myself up when I feel sad or blue is through the lens of my camera. Kinda puts things in perspective; the beauty in nature, the love of your children, even photos of the lawn that needs mowing and the loads of clean folded laundry (just knowing I have that, when so many others are struggling) and many other things! I try not to let things I have no real control over affect me. I also agree with others that I want to scrap more "real" stories and not just make everything sunshine and roses, so to speak.

Good for you, for getting behind that lens! I went through a period where my heart was so heavy that I couldn't bear to pick up my camera. I am saddened by those few months that I missed capturing so many of our children's moments. Thinking of you and your family, wishing you peace, and time.

Take care Ali. {hug}

After reading your post I looked next to my mouse pad where I have an envelope with a few quotes scribbled on it,

Where there's a shadow, there's a light.

Thought it was fitting, for the post and you one little word!

You amaze me how we only know the stuggles you tell us about on this blog but yet still capture such beautiful moments or find the light in the shadow. Love.

Ali, I just want to say thank you for all your beautiful day to day insights into life - you are truly a beautiful person - hope all is well for you soon - many are the prayers for you x

take care of you. Checking in everynow and again to see how you are doing. Your heart sounds heavy. kisses...xxxx

Praying for you, Ali.

Ali, what is going on in your life that you are hinting at here for some time now on your blog. I am thinking you might be separating from your husband - this would be so awful.

Hi Ali,

My heart aches when I read your post last week. Life always appeared so perfect in your posts because you choose to focus on the little and big things worth celebrating. You have taught me to pick out the positive stuff. That's an extremely valuable lesson. I wish I could turn back the clock and make things perfect again. I wish I could give you a very long hug. While I can't do all that, know that someone is loving you and praying for you from half way across the globe.

Take care and be strong Ali.

Dearest Ali,
Please let the Lord fireproof your marriage.
Your family has inspired me for years.
Know that He is at work behind the scenes to heal your family!
When these times pass, you'll be stronger than ever.
xoxo